Pushed to the End
by Junebugsm
Summary: The Sequel to 'Push' and 'Keep Pushing' where Stef and Lena help Callie through the process of getting better.
1. Chapter 1

**The Sequel to 'Push' and 'Keep Pushing' where Stef and Lena help Callie through the process of getting better.**

(Another request for the series to go on so here it is. Also I'm going to try and make it longer than the other two stories and have some drama - but I make no promises. Hope I don't make it boring in the process. Enjoy.)

* * *

For the next few days Callie had been able to keep herself from cutting but her struggle began to come out in other ways - she wasn't eating or sleeping nearly enough and she was constantly tired and found it hard to concentrate on anything. She did, however, try hard to keep her promise and just like before she went to Stef or Lena whenever she felt down. True to there word, they were always around for her but surprisingly she never felt that they were hovering. She knew that their concern came from the love they had for her and she was trying to do her part as well. But as the day of her first session with her new therapist arrived she got increasingly panicked.

Right now Callie was up in her room, supposedly getting ready to leave for the therapist's office but she just couldn't bring herself to get dressed so she was laying on her bed wishing she could get the chicken pox or bit by a rabid dog instead. She was glad that Stef had found her blades and that she had given them the knife because if she hadn't, she was sure she would have lapsed by now. She knew that one of the two adults would be up shortly to find out why she was taking so long because they had to leave but she really didn't care. Anything was better than going to see the therapist.

Just as Callie expected, a few minutes later there was a knock on her door.

"You ready honey?" Lena asked as she poked her head in. "Callie why aren't you dressed?" She asked as she entered the room and saw Callie lying in bed, still in her pajamas.

"I don't want to go." Callie mumbled into her pillow.

"We've been over this Callie." Lena said calmly.

"Please Lena." Callie begged. "Just give me one more chance. I promise I'll never do it again." Callie felt like such a hypocrite - she had just thought to herself that if she had something to use she would have cut by now.

"Sweetheart, you know that's not going to happen." Lena said as she patted Callie's back. "Get up and get dressed before mom comes up here and gets mad."

Callie groaned but climbed out of bed and dug through her drawer for something to wear. Lena waited a few moments until Callie had all her clothes and then left the room to give her some privacy to change.

Lena headed downstairs to the kitchen where Stef was packing a sandwich into a brown bag.

"What's that for?" Lena asked her.

"Callie." Stef said. "She skipped breakfast again.

Lena nodded. They had both noticed just how little Callie had been eating and they had planned to bring it up with the therapist today. It had worried them considerably but so far they hadn't pushed her.

"Where is she?" Stef asked, noticing when Callie didn't appear right behind Lena.

"Getting dressed." Lena said and Stef raised her eyebrow. "She was still in bed. She begged me to cancel the appointment."

"I don't get why she's so against this." Stef said frustrated. They had battled with Callie over this topic so much over the last few days that Stef was just about done.

"We're not the ones who need it." Lena sympathized with the girl as Stef glanced at her watch. They really had to leave if they were going to make the appointment.

Stef headed upstairs to get Callie to hurry up and found her rummaging through the bathroom drawer.

"Looking for something?" She asked Callie.

Callie instantly startled at the sound of her voice. "Um... a rubber band." She said, looking guilty.

Stef reached over the counter towards a small basket filled with rubber bands. "Take your pick." She said giving Callie a look that told her that she wasn't fooled for a second.

Callie cautiously took the first one that came in her hands, never taking her eyes off Stef. Stef then guided her out the door and to the car. She knew there was nothing for Callie to find in the bathroom but the statement Callie had made about finding something if she wanted it bad enough kept repeating in Stef's mind.

* * *

Waiting at the therapist's reception area was torture for Callie. If she had to be here she'd rather just go straight in and get it over with. But no, instead Stef was given a clipboard of forms to fill out and Lena was trying to calm a nervous Callie down.

"It won't be so bad honey." Lena said softly to the teen. "We'll be right in there with you." Then a thought struck Lena and so she added. "But if, at any time, you want us to leave you just need to ask. We don't want you to worry."

Callie nodded. She could see that Lena was trying to make this as easy as possible for her. Unfortunately the easiest thing was to just get up and leave and that just didn't seem to be an option.

Finally after twenty minutes of waiting and what seemed like a hundred questions on the forms they were called into the main room.

All three entered the room, Lena first followed by Callie and then Stef, to find a slim, short haired woman with a pleasant face waiting for them. She extended her hand to Lena. "I'm Sarah Briggs, please call me Sarah." She introduced with a smile.

"Lena Adams Foster." Lena shook the woman's hand.

"Stef." Stef also extended her hand.

"And you must be Callie." Sarah turned her attention to the girl.

Callie didn't respond. She just stared at the woman. But Sarah didn't seem to mind. She motioned for them to sit on the couch while she sat in a chair across from them. She could tell that Callie was nervous and she wanted to make this as comfortable for her as possible.

"So why don't you start by telling me a little about yourselves." Sarah began. It was always easier to ease into things rather than jump right in.

Stef, Lena and Sarah all waited a few moments for Callie to say something but she remained silent so Stef began. "Well Callie here is currently our foster daughter and has been for over six months now but we are in the process of adopting her. We were able to adopt her brother Jude about a month ago but a problem with Callie's birth certificate has delayed her adoption. We have three other kids at home, two of whom are also adopted and the third is my biological son."

"Sounds like a lovely family." Sarah said with a smile.

"We're happy." Stef smiled back.

"Callie, what about you?" Sarah asked. "It must be nice having such a big family?"

But there was still no response from her. Stef reached out and wrapped an arm around Callie encourage her but it didn't work and Sarah continued, not wanting to upset the girl.

"Tell me about Jude." The doctor asked. She had been informed of the bond between the siblings and hoped that topic would get the girl to talk. "I hear he's a sweet little boy."

A small smile crept up Callie's face. Jude was always a ray of sunshine in her dark world. He could always make her laugh and smile. He was the sole reason that she had survived this long. If it wasn't for him, she would have just given up ages ago. But she had trudged on knowing that she was all he had and if she wasn't around he probably wouldn't have survived either. And even if he could, she knew that she could never do that to him - force him to deal with it all on his own. She had to be there - to protect him and love him - there was no one else.

"Can you tell me about him?" Sarah coaxed with a smile.

But Callie's defiance was strong. She had no idea who this woman was and yet she was supposed to just tell her everything. How did that even make sense? She didn't want to be here and she was going to make sure they knew that. She wouldn't give in and she wouldn't talk. She promised Stef and Lena that she'd get better on her own but they didn't trust her so why should she trust them?

Stef and Lena looked at the doctor helplessly. They could see that Callie wasn't going to talk and neither of them knew what to do. They couldn't force her to say anything. The doctor sensed that the moms had something to say but didn't want to in front of Callie.

"Okay Callie." The doctor said gently. "Why don't you go on and wait outside for a bit while I talk to your moms."

Callie tensed ever so slightly in Stef's arms. She didn't want to leave. What would they say while she was gone? What would they decide? She felt Stef pull her closer and she leaned in, relishing the security it brought.

Stef knew that Callie was afraid but she knew that they needed to talk to the doctor without Callie. She had questions and concerns but she didn't want to bring them up in front of the girl. But at the same time she was reluctant to let Callie out of her sight. She had a habit of running and right now Stef could tell that Callie wanted to do nothing more than that.

"We have a a collection of books and magazines outside." The doctor continued, "Why don't you go have a look and I'll call you back in when we're ready."

Callie looked uncertainly up at Stef who nodded encouragingly, giving her a tighter squeeze. "It'll be fine love."

Callie sat for a moment longer until she saw this as an opportunity to get away. It would be the first time in almost a week that Callie would be unsupervised. She finally got up and headed towards the door but just as she was leaving she heard Stef say "Stay put Callie." in a warning tone. Stef always knew what she was thinking.

Callie paused for the slightest second before letting the door close behind her proving to Stef that her warning wasn't unfounded.

The moment the door closed Stef turned to the doctor. "She has a habit of taking off." She explained. "We can't leave her out there too long."

"Don't worry about that." Sarah said as she got up and walked over to her desk, picking up the phone. "Grace," She said into the receiver. "Keep an eye on Callie please and don't let her leave. Thanks."

"The receptionist will make sure she's okay." Sarah reassured the two women. "This isn't the first time we've had someone want to escape." She gave them a small smile. It was clear to her just how much these two women loved Callie and she could see that they were willing to do whatever it took to help her.

"Why don't you tell me what's been happening?" The doctor said.

Lena was the first to speak. "Well as we mentioned on the phone, we've caught Callie cutting herself twice now. It was something she used to do some years ago and a few months ago Stef caught her slitting her wrists. We were able to get her through it and she didn't do it again until last week. We didn't really know how to handle it and we needed some help."

"Do you know what caused the need for her to hurt herself each time?" She doctor questioned.

This time it was Stef who answered. "The first time it was right after we asked if we could adopt her. It seemed to become too much for her and she became afraid that we would change our minds. This time it was because the court ordered that her biological father sign away his rights before we can adopt her and we are going to have a baby and she was afraid that we'd cancel her adoption once the baby came."

"A baby?" The doctor asked.

"I'm two and a half months pregnant." Lena answered.

"Congratulations." Sarah said with a smile. "How has Callie been otherwise?" She asked.

"It's generally a very loving and helpful girl." Lena said with so much love in her voice. "Especially towards Jude. She's protected him for so long."

"How is he doing?" Sarah asked. "Has he had any difficulty settling?"

"No." Stef and Lena both said together."

"Jude never lost his ability to trust because Callie never broke a promise." Stef explained. "I just wish someone kept a promise to Callie."

"You are." Sarah reminded them. "She's struggling and I know it's hard but whatever you're doing is right. Reassuring her that she's loved, but not letting her get away with unacceptable behavior is the key. She needs to know that she's loved no matter what she does and that even if you do get upset with her she is still safe and wanted."

Lena smiled. "Stef's already given her that speech." She said.

"I'm sure she has." The doctor laughed back causing Stef to smirk.

"I just want her to be safe and happy." Stef said.

"That's what we all want, Callie included, I'm sure. And we're going to work together to make that happen." Sarah assured them. "We're going to take it slow so that she's not too uncomfortable or overwhelmed so don't expect progress immediately but it will happen."

"In the last few days she hasn't cut herself." Lena stated. "But we've also been watching her like hawks. But she's struggling in other ways."

"Like what?" Sarah asked concerned.

"She's not eating much and hardly sleeping. She's tired easily and has trouble concentrating."

"Alright." The doctor said as she wrote something down on a notepad.

"She is trying." Lena said firmly, hoping to get her point across. "I think she just don't know how to open up when she feels things get out of her control."

"That's possible." Sarah said. "She has had no one to depend on for so long that she may not even know how to. Also she's been let down so many times that she's afraid to trust. It's not uncommon with children with her background."

Sarah waited a moment before asking another question. "Does she ever come to you with a problem?" She asked.

"If it concerns Jude then always." Stef said. "No matter how uncomfortable it makes her, she will do what's best for him.

"It sounds like she's sacrificed a lot for him." Sarah observed. "Don't worry, we'll get through to her and she will be okay."

Both Stef and Lena nodded. They hoped that the doctor was right and that eventually Callie would learn to trust them and allow them to love her.

"In the meantime," The doctor continued. "Keep talking to her, show her that she's safe and encourage her to talk to you. I'll have another session with her at the end of the week, you two can wait outside for a while and hopefully she will talk. As for the eating, I don't want to get too worked up about that just yet, it may just be a result of stress so for now give her things that she likes and avoid snacks in-between meals, hopefully she'll be hungry to eat a proper meal. I can give you something to help her sleep, but that also I'd prefer if she could do without."

"So do I." Lena said. "I'd rather not get her hooked on pills."

"Don't worry. This is a mild sedative and doesn't have any side effects." Sarah said as she handed them a prescription. "One a night, only if she can't sleep on her own."

"Thank you so much Sarah." Stef said as she stood up and held out her hand. "We've really been at a loss lately."

"My pleasure." Sarah replied as she shook first Stef's and then Lena's hands. "Callie seems like a wonderful girl and she's lucky to have you."

Sarah walked the two women out so that she could say bye to Callie and found the girl sitting in an armchair nervously. The moment the door opened she darted up with worried eyes.

"Ready to go love?" Stef asked her as she walked over.

Callie looked carefully from one adult to the next trying to figure out what had happened.

"I'll see you on Friday Callie." Sarah said with a smile. "It was a pleasure meeting you."

As expected Callie remained silent. Stef finally held on to her shoulders as she lead her out of the waiting area.


	2. Chapter 2

The moment they were in the car Callie's silence disappeared. "What happened?" She asked, her voice filled with uncertainty.

"She speaks." Stef said sarcastically.

"The doctor just asked us a little bit about our family, you and what you've been going through." Lena said giving Stef a warning look.

"Does she think I'm crazy?" Callie asked.

"NO." Lena said firmly. "She know's that you're uncomfortable being there. She just wants to help you, we all do."

"Well I don't like her." Callie said stubbornly.

"Why?" Stef asked. There was no way Callie could make that decision just by sitting silently with the woman for no more than fifteen minutes. She knew that Callie was being difficult and she wanted her to talk about it rather than remain silent and sulk.

"I just don't." Callie said, not really having a better reason. The truth was that she would hate any shrink. She didn't need to get to know the person to know that.

"That's not a good enough reason." Stef said. "We are going to keep trying with her. You might find her more helpful if you actually spoke to her."

Stef was a little irritated at Callie's behavior. No matter what they did to help her Callie would fight them every step of the way and after spending a week constantly on the lookout for her, Stef was getting tired and irritable. She tried to hide it from Lena to allow Lena to relax but she couldn't stop worrying about Callie. She was concerned about her health. Callie was starting to look pale from the lack of eating and the sparkle was missing from her eyes. Her hair had become dull and she had dark circles under her eyes from the lack of sleep. She was still sleeping in their room but honestly she hadn't been doing much sleeping. Stef was thankful that the pregnancy tired Lena out and she at least managed to sleep through most of Callie's fidgeting but Stef found herself laying awake for hours worrying about her daughter.

"Honey next time we'll wait outside for a while while you talk to her." Lena offered, hoping to defuse the situation with Stef. "Will that be better?"

"I still won't talk." Callie said defiantly.

Stef sighed and Lena reached across the console giving her thigh a squeeze, offering her some solace in the fact that she wasn't fighting this alone.

They decided to stop for lunch at one of Callie's favorite restaurants hoping that she would eat something. They drove into Coco's Bakery and headed inside. Stef and Lena placed their order but Callie refused.

"I'm not hungry." She said stubbornly. "I won't eat."

"Well you need to eat." Stef said. "She'll have a Parmesan Crusted Chicken." Stef said knowing it was Callie's favorite. They ordered drinks as well and as they waited for their food Lena tried to talk to Callie.

"Sarah said she wasn't going to rush you into anything." Lena tried to make it sound easier. "She's going to help you find other ways to deal with all you're feeling.

"I told you I'm fine." Callie said. "I don't need a shrink."

"Honey, you're not fine." Lena said softly. "We want you to be happy. We miss your smile."

Callie gave her a forced smile. "Happy?" She asked sarcastically.

"Careful Callie." Stef warned. "Mama's just trying to help."

"Well I wish everyone would just stop trying to help all the time. It just makes things worse." Callie snapped. "And she's not my mom so stop calling her that." She added just to spite them.

Lena looked mildly hurt. She knew that Callie was just angry and lashing out but she wished she wouldn't keep pushing them away. She desperately hoped that they would soon find Robert Quinn and have him sign those damn papers so she could claim her daughter.

Stef could sense Lena's pain and reached a hand under the table to her. Lena took it and the two held on silently giving each other strength. "You may not think so but to us we are your moms." Stef said.

"Ya well any court would disagree." Callie spat back.

"We don't need the court to tell us that Callie." Stef tried to explain just as their food arrived.

Stef decided to let it go. She didn't want Callie to get worked up. She'd rather just give in and have Callie eat. But that wasn't to be. Callie stayed true to her word and didn't take a single bite. Stef and Lena began to eat their food and after a few minutes Stef reached out for Callie's arm and held on to it.

"Take a bite love." She said gently. "It's your favorite."

If Callie had let go of her anger for just a moment she would have realized the meaning behind Stef's words. It wasn't just that they got her something she liked but that they knew what she liked in the first place. She never told them such things which meant that they paid attention to her. They loved her enough to know the things she liked and made the effort to get them for her. But right now all Callie could see was them forcing her to do yet another thing that she didn't want to.

"I'm not going to." Callie said stubbornly. "You can't make me."

"Callie you barely had three bites of salad for dinner last night and you skipped breakfast this morning. You have to eat something." Stef said, trying to reason with the girl.

"I told you I'm not hungry." Callie said.

Stef sighed. She knew she had to find a way to get Callie to eat something.

"Come on." She tried to encourage again. "And after you can order the coconut cream pie that you love so much."

"No thanks." Callie said as she crossed her arms across her chest and leaned back in her chair, as far from the table and food as possible.

This time Lena squeezed Stef's hand in comfort. The two finished their own meal in silence, both opting to skip dessert. As Stef asked for the check she also requested a to-go box for Callie's untouched meal. She planned to try again once they got home where she could be more forceful without the risk of causing a scene. One way or another she needed Callie to eat.

They drove home in silence all of them worrying about different aspects of the same issue. Stef was thinking about how to get Callie to eat, Callie was plotting ways to avoid Stef's inevitable plan and Lena was dreading how it would all go down. Both her girls were hot-heads and it was always a contest to see who could be stubborn longer. She knew that Stef was right and that Callie needed to eat something before she became so sick that they required medication or possible hospitalization to get her body what it needed, but still she wished that they wouldn't battle.

* * *

The moment Stef pulled into the driveway Callie jumped out of the car. She wanted to get away from Stef before she tried to get her to eat again. She should have know that even trying would be pointless because she had barely even made it to the first landing before Stef grabbed hold of her arm and guided her down the other side and into the kitchen instead.

Lena went upstairs to use the bathroom and wash up. She needed a moment to ready herself for the battle that was about to begin.

Stef sat Callie down on a stool at the kitchen table and placed the styrofoam box in front of her then went to get a plate and a glass of orange juice. Callie just sat on the stool staring at the box like it was a bomb, about to explode in her face. Stef opened up the box and put a piece of chicken and some mashed potato on the plate. It wasn't much, not nearly as much as Stef would have liked, but she didn't want to overwhelm Callie at the amount of food. Maybe just a little would go down better.

"Come on honey." She said softly as she sat down beside the girl. "Let's just get this over with. It's not much."

But Callie just looked from her plate to Stef's face, the determination to be disobedient evident in her face.

"Callie, you have to eat something." Stef said, raising a voice slightly. "If you don't want to eat this then tell me what you do want and I'll make it for you." At this stage she'd feed her ice-cream and donuts if that's what it took.

"I already told you, I don't want anything." Callie said, her voice also raising.

Lena came downstairs just as Callie was talking. She gently rested a hand on the girl's shoulder. "How about a salad?" She asked remembering that Callie at least ate a few bites of it the night before.

"Don't bother Lena." Callie said sweetly. "It'll just be wasted like this chicken."

"Callie we are going to sit right here until you eat at least one piece of chicken." Stef said sternly.

"Don't make promises you can't keep Stef." Callie said cheekily.

"Excuse me?" Stef was getting angry now.

"You have to go to work in a few hours. I, on the other hand, have nowhere to be. I can sit here all day long." Callie smirked.

Stef had just about had it with Callie. "Fine." She yelled angrily. "You want to starve yourself, go ahead." She picked up the plate from in front of Callie and practically threw it into the sink, breaking it in half. "Go do whatever you want." She added in exasperation.

Callie was momentarily taken aback. Was Stef really giving up on her? The thought both excited and terrified her. On the one had she would get some space and privacy that she was craving but on the other, these were the only people there for her. What would happen to her if they just gave up completely.

The latter thought won out and showed on Callie's face. She tried to hide it as she turned around to head upstairs but it didn't go unnoticed by either woman.

"You still have to stay where I can see you Callie." Stef said, in a slightly softer tone.

Callie didn't turn back to face her but her worried expression disappeared as relief filled her face. They were still there. She never thought that hearing someone order her like that would make her happy.

Callie headed to the breakfast nook and started fidgeting on her phone while Stef went to clean up the broken plate.

"Honey why don't you go take a bath and let me do that." Lena told her wife, knowing that she could use some time alone.

"I'm fine Lena." Stef said. She didn't want Lena to be left with the mess to clean up. As soon as she was done here she'd get them all upstairs and things would hopefully calm down.

* * *

An hour later Lena and Callie were both in bed. Callie no longer put up a fuss about sleeping in their room but she still wasn't too happy about it. Once they were both asleep Stef headed back downstairs and out to the back yard. She sat down in a chair with her face to the sun and closed her eyes. Everything was so peaceful out here, it was almost like another world entirely. Suddenly everything had become so dark for them and they were all struggling to find some light but right now, for these few minutes, Stef was at peace. As she finally let her emotions catch up to her as she felt the tears slowly trickle down her cheeks.

"You okay babe." She heard Lena's gentle voice.

Stef quickly opened her eyes and tried to wipe them dry but Lena beat her to it.

"What are you thinking?" Lena asked her as she sat on the arm of Stef's chair.

Stef pulled Lena down into her lap and gently rubbed her hand on Lena's stomach where their baby lay. "I'm so tired." She finally admitted. "I feel like we're taking one step forward but two steps back. Why is it so hard?"

"Maybe if you let me help." Lena said gently.

Stef looked up at her in confusion. "What?"

"You don't have to take it all on yourself Stef." Lena smiled. "I'm here with you. I can take some of the pressure off."

"You're pregnant." Stef said. She knew that stress wasn't good for pregnant women and she didn't want anything to harm Lena or the baby."

"Yes babe, pregnant, not dying." Lena laughed. "I'm her mom too you know."

Stef suddenly looked worried. "I didn't mean that you weren't her m..." She began but Lena cut her off.

"I know honey." Lena smiled. "That's not what I meant. It's just okay for you to need a break sometimes. Let someone else deal with the mess for a while."

Stef closed her eyes, thinking about what Lena said. "The last time I left the mess with you she knocked you down to the ground." Stef said in a mixture of misery and humor.

Lena smiled. "She's not a mess, and she didn't knock me down. She held..."

"Held on to you." Stef said along with her. "I know, I know, you've told me a hundred times." She rolled her eyes up at her wife.

"I know you worry babe." Lena continued. "And I love you so much for that but you're not Superwoman." They both smiled. "No matter what you may think."

"I never thought I was Superwoman." Stef said seriously. "I prefer to think of myself as Wonder Woman."

Both of them laughed as Lena leaned down and kissed Stef. This was the most relaxed she had seen her wife in days.

A few minutes later they both headed back upstairs. Neither of them wanted to leave Callie alone for too long.


	3. Chapter 3

Callie woke up a few hours later to the noise and laughter of the other kids' arrival. Lena, who had been sitting with her, giving Stef her much needed break, lead them both downstairs.

Downstairs Mariana was animately describing how much she hated Kaitlyn and how bossy she was. Jude and Jesus were sitting at the kitchen table picking at what was left of Callie's chicken in the styrofoam box.

"Where's mom?" Lena asked as they made their way into the kitchen.

"She just left for the store." Jude told her. "She said she'd be back in a bit."

"Yeah, she just needed to get away from Mariana's drama." Jesus joked.

"Shut Up Jesus." Mariana said. "If you knew what Kaitlyn was like you'd be bitching about her too."

"Language." Lena said looking sternly at her daughter causing the other three kids to smile.

"Sorry mama." Mariana said sheepishly.

"Why don't all of you get started on your homework and then maybe after dinner we can have a game night." Lena suggested. She wasn't sure what dinner would bring but she had a feeling that either she nor Stef would be up for dealing with homework. At least a game would be more fun.

The three kids who just got home from school all went to get their backpacks.

"Where's Brandon?" Lena asked. "He was supposed to bring Callie's homework."

"Oh he gave it to me." Mariana said, pulling a book out of her backpack and handing it to Callie. "He went over to Aiden's to work on some project I think."

"Oh, right." Lena said, remembering that her son had mentioned a project. "What does Callie have to do?"

"Brandon said that she has to write an essay on 'obstacles' for English and read chapters six through eight in that science book, there will be a quiz next week."

"That shouldn't be too hard Callie." Lena said smiling. She knew that Callie liked writing for Timothy's class, especially since they had the option of not reading it to everyone and she enjoyed reading as well, regardless of the subject.

Callie gave her a small smile. She though it would be good to get her mind off other things for a while. She began to plan out her essay in her head as the others all settled with homework and Lena began dinner.

Less than twenty minutes later Stef returned with two full bags of stuff.

"What you got there babe?" Lena asked going over to the kitchen island where Stef was setting down the bags.

"Just some stuff." Stef said, trying not to make a big deal about it.

Lena began digging through the bags pulling out two boxes of Nature Valley granola bars, real fruit chips, apples, nectarines, grapes, baby carrots and cherry tomatoes, cookie-dough ice-cream and a few natural fruit juices. She raised an eye at Stef who just shrugged.

"We gotta try everything." Stef whispered, knowing that her wife preferred the kids eat healthy, but right now if they could get even this into Callie it was good. And besides the ice-cream, Callie's favorite flavor which was meant to be a treat, the rest was pretty healthy.

Lena couldn't help but smile at Stef. She really was trying every possible thing to get their daughter to eat something. The love and concern she saw in her eyes made her want to cry. No matter how tough Stef was or how angry she got she would always do right by her family.

Lena helped Stef put the stuff away and then pulled Stef out of earshot of the kids. "Let's try to make a deal with her." Lena said to Stef. "We'll give her just a little bit of whatever she wants to eat and let her have some juice in exchange for something she really wants."

"You want to bribe her?" Stef said in surprise. The thought hadn't struck her and if at all they discussed it she imagined that she would be the one bringing it up. She suddenly realized that Lena was also reaching a point where she was desperate. "What does she want?"

"Space." Lena said without missing a beat. She watched Stef's face turn to horror.

"Space?" She repeated.

Lena nodded. "We give her a little privacy. See how it goes."

"And when she hurts herself?" Stef asked the obvious question.

"We'll keep an eye on her but maybe for a little while before bed, while she's with the kids maybe." Lena trailed off giving Stef a moment to think about it.

"Alright, we'll try it." Stef said, though she wasn't completely convinced it was a good idea. She was having trouble deciding which was worse - Callie not eating or the possibility of her hurting herself.

"Good," Lena said smiling. "Let's tell her now so that she has time to think about it." She suggested. She knew that just like Stef, Callie also needed a bit of time to come to terms with something.

Stef waited as Lena called Callie over.

"Okay Callie." Lena began. "Mom and I talked and we're going to make a deal with you."

Callie looked at Lena and Stef in curiosity. "A deal?" She asked.

"Yes." Lena said. "Mom's bought some stuff that you like - carrots, fruit, even ice-cream. If you can eat just a little of that then we decided that you'll earn some time to yourself this evening."

Up until that last statement Callie was ready to refuse but the thought of some freedom really did make the offer very enticing.

"You need to eat the mashed potato from lunch and a few carrots or a fruit and ice-cream if you want and then mom and I will be up in our room while you kids either watch a movie or play a game." Stef said.

"And drink one juice box." Lena added.

Callie looked torn between her options. On the one hand she hadn't been away from either of them for more than a minute at a time in a week now but she was still reluctant to let go of the one thing she seemed to have some control over.

The sound of laughter from the kitchen table distracted her and she turned to see Mariana and the boys laughing over some drawing that Jesus had done as a diagram for science. Apparently it didn't look quite like what it was meant to but instead more like a set of boobs.

The sight made Callie's decision easier. She had to admit, at least to herself, that she was hungry and the desire to spend some time with just her siblings sounded great. With the moms hovering over her so much lately even the others had preferred to keep their space but now she was being given a chance.

"Okay." Callie finally said as she looked back at Stef and Lena.

"Good." Lena said with a smile.

"But Callie, no funny business." Stef warned. "If you start to feel down you come to us okay?"

Callie nodded before heading back to her essay. Suddenly she knew what her topic was going to be about.

* * *

Dinner came all too soon for Callie. Stef had sent her to wash up for dinner and while she was gone she told the kids that Callie was being given something different for dinner and that none of them were to comment or complain and ice-cream would be for everyone as a treat. All the kids knew that Callie was having a hard time and they were more than willing to help out.

Callie came back to a plate of mashed potatoes, four carrots and a glass of orange juice. She looked at the plate miserably. The others were already helping themselves to the roast that Lena had made and were digging in to the mixed vegetables as well. There was lighthearted chatter around the dinner table but both moms kept a close eye on Callie.

So far she hadn't touched her food nor had she taken her eyes off her plate. Stef wanted to encourage her to eat but she knew that drawing everyone's attention to her wouldn't help her any. Instead she continued eating while half listening to what her other children were saying.

She picked up on snippets of the conversation - Jesus had won a wrestling match against Emma and she hadn't taken it well, Mariana was fed up of Kaitlyn bossing them around at practice and Jude got a 'B' on his History test. Callie, of course, said nothing.

Eventually the other kids all finished and were excused to get ready for bed so that they could start their game and have ice-cream while they played. Lena started on the dishes as Stef moved closer to Callie and laid a hand on her back.

"They're all gone now." She said. "Go ahead, take a bite."

"No." Callie finally said looking up at Stef. "Forget the deal. I don't want this."

"Callie." Stef began. "You haven't eaten anything all day, you can't go on like this."

"I'm fine Stef." Callie said moving away from her. "I'll eat when I'm hungry."

"You can't _not_ be hungry." Stef said.

"How would you know?" Callie asked. "I know you think you know everything but you have no idea what I'm feeling." Callie was getting defensive now because she was losing the battle.

"I'm sorry Callie." Stef said trying to stay calm. "Just eat any one thing okay. Just the carrots if you like. I just need you to put something in your stomach please." Stef practically begged.

Callie could see the worry in Stef's eyes. It wasn't often that she showed this side of her and Callie felt guilty for making her worry so much.

After what seemed like ages to Stef, Callie finally picked up a carrot and began to eat it slowly. Stef forced herself not to sigh in relief for fear of stopping Callie. She just sat and watched as Callie finished one and then a second carrot. Her pace was slowing down and Stef decided to give her some space.

"I'll put the leftover chicken into a dish." Stef told Lena as she got up and got busy with the chicken but kept a sidelong glance at Callie as she ate her third carrot.

Neither of the mom's made a big deal when Callie finally finished the fourth one and pushed her plate away.

"Good girl." Stef said softly as she took the plate and handed it to Lena to be rinsed before putting it into the dishwasher.

"Do you want the juice?" Stef asked Callie. She didn't want to push her but was surprised when Callie slowly nodded and reached out for the glass. They watched as Callie drained the glass faster than they expected and they both realized just how hungry Callie must be.

"Can I go to the bathroom?" Callie asked as she handed her empty glass to Lena.

Lena smiled and nodded as she rinsed out the glass and added it with the plate.

* * *

When Callie was gone for more than a few minutes Stef rushed to the bathroom. She was terrified of what she'd find as she knocked on the door and opened it. She imagined finding Callie looking for something to hurt herself with or already hurting herself but instead she found her curled on the floor crying.

She quietly sank down beside her and hugged her tight as she rocked them both.

"I'm so proud of you Callie." Stef said. "I know that it was hard for you but you did it anyways. You are so strong. You've overcome so many bad things in your life and you've protected Jude from so much over the years. I really admire you for that. It takes a lot of strength to be able to do that. But you aren't alone anymore Callie. There are so many people here who love you and want you and want what's best for you. We're all going to support you and help you get better, and you will baby. You will be just fine. Just remember how strong you are."

Callie listened to all the things Stef was saying. She had been strong and she had protected Jude. And then they came to this house and she was finally able to just take a break and catch her breath and that's when she found things becoming the most difficult. The fear of loosing something so good - the ability to control her own life, the freedom to make mistakes without unreasonable consequences, the knowledge that she had people looking out for her. And suddenly she felt those things disappear - She couldn't get adopted and instead they wanted a baby, she began making too many mistakes because she wasn't as afraid of them anymore and worst of all the people that were looking out for her were starting to control her in different ways - expecting her to work hard and do her best, expecting her to make decisions for herself and not only giving her the freedom but along with it the responsibility to be a good person not because she was afraid of being anything different but because that's who they wanted her to be. All that freedom became overwhelming and the cutting helped release it all. And when that was stopped she found that they couldn't control what she ate - only she had that power.

She eventually stopped crying and Stef helped her up. She lead her upstairs and together they got ready for bed. By the time they came back down the kids had Cranium all laid out in the dining room ready to play along with the ice-cream and seven bowls.

"Okay who wants ice-cream." Jesus said as he opened the tub. Brandon, Jude and Mariana all said yes eagerly.

"Callie?" Jesus asked as he put two scoops into each bowl.

"No thanks." Callie replied.

Stef and Lena gave each other a look - so much for her favorite dessert.

"Not for us either." Stef said, trying not to make a big deal of it. "We're gonna go have some time to ourselves." Stef said smiling as Lena walked in with two glasses and a bottle of red. "It's just you kids tonight."

The kids had already made the teams - Callie and Mariana, Lena and Jude, Jesus and Brandon and Stef would play alone. She always got too competitive. They were quite surprised, however, when Stef mentioned that her and Lena would not be playing.

"Okay." Mariana said skeptically. "New teams then. Jesus and Jude can be together and Brandon you can play by yourself."

"Why me?" Brandon asked.

"You're the oldest." Mariana replied

"And no one wants to partner up with you - like mother like son." Jesus teased and they all laughed.

"I'm not even playing and still I get teased." Stef said in mock surprise.

"Brandon could you come and help me in the kitchen for a second." Lena said.

The two headed into the kitchen and Stef walked over to Callie and gave her shoulder a small squeeze "we'll be in the living room if you need us." She said softly so that only she could hear.

Callie nodded as Brandon and Lena reentered the dining room. Both women headed into the living room leaving the kids to start their game.


	4. Chapter 4

"I told Brandon to keep an eye on Callie." Lena said as they made themselves comfortable on the couch.

"Good thinking." Stef said. "Your Ph.D really is doing us wonders." She added after a pause.

"What are you talking about?" Lena asked.

"I tried to get her to eat all day but she didn't listen." Stef explained. "Then you come up with your compromise and she managed to eat four carrots and drink a whole glass of juice."

Lena smiled. "She takes it as a challenge to defy you." She said.

"So I've noticed." Stef laughed back.

"She really loves you, you know." Lena said softly.

"She loves us both." Stef replied.

"I know, but she has a connection with you." Lena said and Stef looked at her waiting for her to continue. "She admires you."

Stef raised her eyebrows up at Lena.

"It's true." Lena said. "You can see it in her eyes. She looks up to you and I'd bet she want's to be just like you - strong, stable, independent."

Stef looked down at her hands slightly embarrassed. She wasn't good with compliments.

"She's already a lot like you." Lena continued.

"Yeah, hot-headed and stubborn." Stef joked.

"Among other things." Lena said, ignoring the joking and keeping the conversation serious. "You both do whatever it takes to protect those that you love and you both carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. But you also both love unconditionally and look after the people you love."

Stef looked up at Lena then. Trying to see if Lena really meant all that she had said. And Lena smiled at her kindly.

"You should see the way she looks at you." Lena said. "Even when she pretends that she doesn't want you around. When you hug her she actually relaxes into you. When you're mad at her she looks miserable. If you look into her eyes, past all the anger and attitude you'll see it."

"So I'm never supposed to be mad at her?" Stef asked raising an eyebrow.

"No." Lena said. "I'm not asking for the impossible." She added to lighten the mood. "But keep showing her that you love her. Even when you're mad at her."

"I do." Stef argued.

"I know you do. You always do." Lena assured her. "Just remember it. You may just actually be her Wonder Woman. Don't let her loose that trust in you."

"Way to lay the pressure on." Stef teased. She was done with this conversation - it was getting too emotional.

"I love you Stef." Lena said as she snuggled closer to her and rested her head on her shoulder. "Everything about you."

* * *

The following morning Lena got up to get the kids ready up for school and start breakfast. Stef and Callie were still fast asleep and she decided to let them be. They were anyways staying home since Stef was taking mornings off to stay home with Callie.

Just as Lena was about to leave the room she suddenly remembered that Stef was supposed to have gone into work the evening before. She raced around the bed and shook Stef gently.

"What is it babe?" Stef asked, looking towards Callie.

"She's fine." Lena said as she sat down. "Weren't you supposed to go into work yesterday?"

Stef smiled at the worried look on Lena's face. "I called and cancelled while you two were asleep." Stef told her. "I wanted to be here with you guys. I'm going to take a couple of night shifts instead since Callie's been sleeping through the night for the last two nights."

The worried look on Lena's face only intensified. "Night shift?" She asked disgustedly. She hated when Stef had the night shift. It was always the worst.

"It's fine love." Stef told her. "I'm back with Mike now so it won't be so bad."

Lena didn't look convinced but nodded anyways and went back to the tasks she needed to do.

Stef sighed. She knew how much Lena hated it when they had the night shift but this way she wasn't leaving Lena for hours at a time to deal with Callie by herself. She also needed the rest and each time they went to the doctor for a checkup she reminded them that Lena needed to take things a little easy.

* * *

Stef and Lena allowed Callie to sleep until the other kids left for school. Lena was downstair making breakfast and Stef stayed upstairs talking with Mariana and the boys as they got dressed. She felt like lately she was so busy keeping Callie together that she had hardly spent much time with the others. Though none of them complained at all. They were all aware of Callie's difficulties and were extremely supportive of her.

"When is she coming back to school?" Mariana asked as she did her hair.

"We're not sure about that yet." Stef told her. "We need to make sure she won't hurt herself before we let her return."

"What if we kept an eye on her." Mariana asked.

Stef knit her brows together silently questioning her daughter.

"She mentioned something last night." Mariana explained.

"What did she say?" Stef asked.

"That she was sorry and that she wouldn't do it again but she just wanted to get out of the house. And not just to see a doctor." Mariana said.

"What else did she say?" Stef asked hoping that she'd get some insight into what the girl was hiding from them.

"Nothing really." Mariana said. "She apologized to me for yelling at me after I told you what she'd done."

Stef nodded, remembering how bad things had gotten after that fight.

"Well yesterday was a trial separation." Stef explained to Mariana. "We're checking to see if she really is safe if left alone."

"We could help you know." Mariana said as she turned her attention from her hair to her mom. "We care about her too and we wouldn't let her do anything bad to herself."

Stef looked like she was about to argue but Mariana cut her off.

"I know I kept it from you the last time and I'm sorry for that but I know better now. I didn't think it was as serious as it is. That won't happen again. And once I did realize it I told mama right away." Mariana said.

"That you did." Stef agreed. "Let me talk to mama about it and we'll see." Stef said as she got up and walked over to her daughter to plant a kiss on her head before going to check on her boys.

She headed to Jesus and Jude's room next. Jude was completely ready, sitting on his bed to tie his shoes. Jesus on the other hand was only wearing his pants so far and busy texting on his phone; bed still unmade and pajamas discarded on the floor.

"Hey buddy I'm gonna take that phone away if you don't put it down right now and get ready." Stef said as she took a seat beside Jude.

Jesus groaned but put his phone down and rummaged through his closet for a t-shirt.

"How are you doing bud?" Stef asked as she turned to Jude.

"I'm okay." Jude said. He had finished tying his shoes and was ready to go downstairs but Stef held on to his hands.

"You know that Callie is getting the help that she needs yes?" She asked him.

Jude slowly nodded looking uncertain.

"I know it's scary and you're afraid for her but we are not going to let anything happen to her." Stef promised.

"I know, it's just..." Jude began.

"It's just what love?" Stef asked.

"She looks so different." Jude observed. "She looks broken."

Stef gave him a sad smile. "That she does baby." She said as she pulled him close. "But you know that may not be such a bad thing."

Jude gave her a confused look and she had to smile.

"She's always been so brave and strong because she needed to protect the two of you and make sure that you guys had what you needed." Stef explained. "Now she finally feels safe enough to break down a little and let someone else take care of her instead."

She gave Jude a moment to think about what she had said before continuing.

"We are talking care of her and we will get her through this." Stef promised. "Don't you doubt that for a second."

Jude stood up and hugged Stef then. "Thanks for wanting us even though we're all messed up." He said into her shoulder and Stef found herself hugging him tighter.

She gave him a kiss before sending him downstairs for breakfast and turning to her other son. Jesus was dressed now and making the bed.

"Better hurry or you won't have time for breakfast." Stef told him.

"Almost done he said as he grabbed his shoes and shoved his feet into them. Stef watched him pick up his backpack and dash out the door, his hair still a mess and his pajamas still on the floor.

"Boys..." She mumbled to herself as she picked up the clothes and placed them folded on the bed.

She headed to Brandon's room but found it empty. He was already downstairs. She knew he wanted to get to school early so he could practice for an audition. He preferred to practice there because no one disturbed him. In a house of seven it wasn't often that it was quiet enough to really concentrate on something.

Stef headed back to her own room to check on Callie. She was still fast asleep and Stef was so relieved to see that. Last night was only the second night that Callie had managed to sleep though the night. Before that she would wake up and toss for hours. Stef wondered if it was because her body was getting so weak that she couldn't stay awake any longer. She was so glad that their next appointment with Sarah was the next day - Stef has so many questions she needed answered.

* * *

After breakfast all the kids came back upstairs to say bye to Stef before heading out to school. Then Lena went to wake Callie. They wanted her to eat something before Lena had to leave for her doctor's appointment. They knew that it would be a struggle but hopefully there would be success like the night before. Lena made french toast, something she knew Callie loved. Callie had told them a while ago that the first time she ever ate it was in this house and she loved it. Lena hoped that it would help get Callie to eat.

"Wake up baby." Lena said as she stroked Callie's head gently.

Callie slowly opened her eyes and Lena smiled down at her.

"Good morning." Lena said as she kissed Callie.

"Morning." Callie mumbled, rubbing her eyes. She was so tired all the time. Even after sleeping for hours she was still tired.

"Go brush your teeth and then we'll go have breakfast okay." Lena said hoping that Callie wouldn't make a fuss.

"Callie got up and headed to the bathroom and Stef entered the room.

"Mariana said that Callie want's to go back to school." Stef told Lena.

"We can't send her." Lena said looking worried. "We don't even send her to the bathroom without checking up on her."

"I know." Stef said but she had been thinking about what Mariana had said and she wanted to try it. "But maybe we could do something like last night. Let her go out with the kids. There are enough of them to keep an eye out for her and it'll be good for her to get away from us."

If they hadn't been so worried about the idea they might have joked about the face that it would probably be good for them too. But right now neither of them were that relaxed.

"What do you suggest?" Lena asked.

"Maybe send them for a movie or the bowling alley." Stef said. "Mariana already promised to watch her and Brandon and Jesus will keep an eye on her too. Besides I don't think she'd do anything with Jude close by anyways."

"Let's see what the doctor says tomorrow." Lena suggested.

Stef smiled. "That's what I said to Mariana.

* * *

Ten minutes later they were downstairs trying to convince Callie to eat something. Apart from two french toasts Lena had cut up a nectarine and filled her a glass of juice. There was also cereal incase Callie wanted that. But so far Callie had refused to eat anything.

"Callie honey please eat something." Lena said softly. Four baby carrots and a glass of apple juice wasn't enough in over twenty-four hours.

"I'm not hungry." Callie said.

"We know that's not true Callie." Stef said pulling up her chair close to Callie.

"Sweetheart you can really get sick like this." Lena said. "It's dangerous, what you're doing."

"I'm fine." Callie said.

"No, you're not." Stef replied. "Callie if you think that starving yourself is going to help then you're wrong. It'll only make things worse."

"I'm not starving myself." Callie said. "I ate dinner last night."

"Callie four carrots isn't dinner." Stef said flatly.

"Callie can you tell us why you don't want to eat?" Lena asked her.

"And don't say that it's because you aren't hungry." Stef added.

Callie sat silently staring at her plate.

"Come on love." Stef pushed the plate closer to her. "You love French toast."

"No I don't." Callie said as tears began to fall down her face. Stef reached out for her but she got up and ran out to the back yard. The sudden rush making her feel giddy and before she could reach the back gate she fell into the grass.

Stef and Lena were right behind her. "Callie are you alright?" Lena asked as Stef helped Callie into the sitting position.

"I'm fine." Callie said. "I tripped." But she knew that neither of them would buy that. The truth was that she was hungry and she felt weak and tired but she just needed something to defy them about. Anything to keep them at arms length. She had to protect herself, at least until her adoption came through and she was sure that nothing could take her away again.

"Callie, you're not fine." Stef said forcefully, holding back her own tears. She could see just how weak Callie was and she could see the sadness in her eyes. She remembered what Lena had told her the night before - about Callie needing her to be close. She decided to try something she hadn't done since Mariana came to live with them over eight years ago.

"Lena could you please get Callie's plate." Stef said as she pulled Callie closer and held her to her chest as Callie continued to cry.

A moment later Lena came back with the plate and set it down next to them and sat down herself. She had no idea what Stef was planning but she could already see the relief on Callie's face, just being in Stef's arms. Lena could relate to that, Stef's embrace always make her feel safe and loved too.

Stef continued to hold Callie close and whispered that she was going to be just fine. She repeated the things she had said the night before in the bathroom about how strong Callie was and how much she was loved until Callie's crying subsided. Then, without releasing Callie she cut a piece of the french toast and tried to feed Callie like a child. At first Callie refused to open her mouth.

"Please baby." Stef said softly to her. "You can do this. I know you can."

Callie shook her head as the tears began to fall again.

"Don't say no." Stef said. "You're stronger than this. Please baby."

Callie continued to cry but built up the courage to take the bite. She buried her face in Stef's chest as she slowly chewed the small bite.

Both Lena and Stef looked at each other with relief across their faces. Lena quickly took the fork and cut the french toast into small pieces so that it was easier for Stef to get to. They both wanted to get as much into Callie before things changed again.

Stef continued to talk to Callie as she fed her piece after piece, keeping them small so that it was easier for her to swallow. Callie had finished almost a whole toast when she finally said she was done.

"I can't eat anymore. Please." She practically begged with tears in her eyes.

"Okay." Stef said immediately. She didn't want to discourage a good thing. If they didn't force her then maybe Callie would be able to eat again after a while. "You did great baby. I'm so proud of you." Stef said as she hugged Callie close.

Lena smiled as she watched Callie's arms slip around Stef. She swore that if she didn't know any better she would assume that they were biologically mother and daughter.

Lena took the plate away while Stef continued to sit with Callie. If the closeness really was helping her then Stef didn't want to take it away right after Callie had overcome a huge hurdle.

A few minutes later Lena returned with the glass of apple juice. "Here, drink some of this." Lena said as she handed the glass to Callie. She decided to make it a statement rather than a question and was pleasantly surprised when Callie took it and drank it down quickly.

A little too quickly though because before she could finish the glass she began to cough uncontrollably.

Stef sat her upright and patted her back until she finally stopped coughing.

"You okay love?" She asked and Callie nodded.

"I don't want anything more, please." Callie whispered.

"Okay." Stef said. "Nothing more."

It was already progress and they were willing to take what they could get. Callie had eaten two bites short of a whole french toast and more than half a glass of juice. It wasn't really a substantial breakfast but it definitely was a substantial improvement.


	5. Chapter 5

Lena left for her doctor's appointment and was then heading to school for some meetings about the upcoming mid-terms. She was also going to talk to Callie's teachers about what was going on and get all the work that would be covered in the mid-terms so that hopefully Callie wouldn't have to miss them.

Stef took Callie upstairs and sent her for a shower. She was going to allow Callie to shower and change without checking up on her at all - although she didn't tell her that. They really wanted her to be in a place where they felt they could leave her side without worrying about what she'd do.

Stef sat on the bed as she heard the shower start. Callie was going to wash her hair so she knew that it would take her longer than usual. Every few minutes she felt the urge to check up on Callie but stopped herself from entering the bathroom. Finally after about fifteen minutes Callie came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel. Stef sighed with relief. Obviously Callie hadn't done anything to herself.

As Callie changed Stef took another leap of faith. She allowed Callie to go watch TV while she went for a shower herself. She planned of having the quickest shower of her life but still she was willing to try.

"I love you so much." She told Callie as she sent her out the door.

Stef was showered and dressed in under seven minutes. She ran a brush through her hair and headed downstairs. She tried to look casual but couldn't help gliding her eyes over Callie.

"I didn't do anything." Callie said, not looking away from the TV.

Stef felt her heart stop for a moment, wondering if Callie would be upset. But Callie just looked up at her and smiled. "You can stop worrying so much."

Stef smiled back as she took a seat next to Callie. "It's my job honey." She said.

"Did you even use soap?" Callie teased.

Stef smiled at her. She watched as Callie snuggled closer to her and turned her attention back to the TV. She realized that just one piece of toast had really helped lighten Callie's mood. She was smiling and joking and she looked relaxed - things they hadn't seen in almost a week. She loved this side of Callie and hoped that she would continue to make progress.

They continued to watch what was left of _Love Happens_, laughing and commenting throughout. It was such a refreshing change and Stef hoped that it wouldn't end. Callie kept commenting on all the arrangements in the flower shop and how pretty they all looked and Stef suddenly had an idea.

"Have you ever been to the San Diego Botanic Garden?" She asked her.

Callie shook her head.

"They have some of the most beautiful flowers there." Stef told her. "Fancy a trip?"

"Today?" Callie asked.

"Yeah, we can go hang out and look at the flowers. You can take some pictures. Just you and me." Stef said with a smile.

Callie smiled back. "Yeah, I'd love that."

For the first time Stef saw what Lena had talked about, that pure love and admiration in Callie's eyes. Stef would do just about anything to make sure that it never died out.

* * *

Two hours later the two were walking though the gardens and Callie couldn't take pictures fast enough. There were so many plants all around and each one more beautiful than the last. Stef watched as Callie darted from side to side taking pictures and smiling away. She suddenly wished that Lena was here to see her. She took out her own phone and took a few pictures of Callie. She got quite a few of Callie smiling away and having a great time.

Then suddenly Callie looked up and saw that Stef was taking pictures of her. She aimed her camera back at Stef and began taking pictures herself and soon the two were at war, trying to get funny pictures of each other. Stef mocked annoyance at some of the pictures Callie took but in truth she wouldn't have traded those moments for the world. For those few hours Callie seemed to have forgotten her troubles and was genuinely happy and her smile filled Stef with joy.

They continued through the garden taking more pictures along the way and it was a little past lunchtime when they finally made it through to the other side. Callie was still smiling but her was getting tired and Stef could tell from her posture and the slightly pale look on her face. Stef hated to see this morning end but she knew that she had to get Callie to eat something before she got lightheaded again. She hoped that their carefree morning would make it easier for Callie to eat but she was preparing for a battle.

"So would you like to go somewhere for lunch?" Stef asked casually, hoping Callie's mood would last.

"Let's just go home." Callie said as her face fell slightly.

Stef wished that Callie had chosen to go out. Going home meant that Callie was probably going to make a fuss, but she didn't let it show as she guided Callie back to the car and they drove home. She kept up a lighthearted conversation about the morning in an attempt to keep Callie's spirits up but she could tell that Callie was already retreating to her now usual self.

* * *

As predicted, lunch was a battle. Callie refused to eat saying that she was still full from breakfast.

"It wasn't even a whole toast, Callie." Stef said as she pushed Callie's plate of chicken strips in barbecue sauce and carrots in front of her for the third time.

"Well I'm still full." Callie said stubbornly.

"Honey, please don't do this." Stef said. "Every meal can't be a battle. You have to eat something. I can see how weak you are."

"It doesn't have to be a battle." Callie said. "Just let me be and there will be no battle."

Stef sighed. She was trying to stay calm but it wasn't working anymore. "You know I can't do that." She said.

"Why not?" Callie asked.

"Because I love you." Stef answered exasperatedly.

"That's your problem not mine." Callie shot back.

"Why are you doing this Callie?" Stef asked. "It's been such a great day so far. Why do you want to ruin it?

"I'm not ruining it." Callie snapped. "You are. You're forcing me to do something I don't want to. I"m not a baby. I'm not even yours."

"Oh don't start that Callie." Stef said, her voice getting stern. "Every time something doesn't go your way you can't retreat to that."

Lately whenever Callie felt backed into a corner or was forced to do something she didn't want to she would remind them that she didn't need to listen to them because she was not their daughter. At first Stef and Lena had both assured her constantly that she was theirs and that she was loved but lately they realized that Callie was using it as a weapon. They knew that she was still afraid of being taken away and they were still trying their hardest to find Robert Quinn, but they were still not going to allow Callie to live her life based on a technicality. She was theirs and they would do whatever was best for her - no matter how much she hated it.

"Well it's true isn't it?" Callie asked.

"Do you love Jude?" Stef asked, ignoring Callie's question.

"Of course." Callie answered forcefully.

"With your whole heart?" Stef continued.

"Yes." Callie said, starting to get confused.

"But he's only your half brother." Stef pointed out.

"So?" Callie said.

"So does that mean that you now love him only half as much?" Stef asked.

Callie didn't answer. She finally understood where this was headed and she knew she was going to lose so she opted to remain silent instead.

Stef smiled. Callie couldn't argue. "It doesn't matter how much or how little you are related to someone. If you love them then that's all that matters."

She stopped for a moment as just observed Callie. She was looking down at her hands and fidgeting.

"And you know that we love you yes?" She asked and waited until Callie gave her a small nod.

"So then you know that this argument is pointless." Stef finished.

Stef could see Callie struggling. She didn't like to lose - another thing that they had in common. She could also see that Callie was pulling farther away from her so she caught hold of the stool and pulled it right up against her own so that Callie was sitting right between her legs. She quickly wrapped her arms around her and just held her. She needed Callie to remember that even thought she was mad at her she still loved her.

"You are all my babies." Stef said. "The only difference between Brandon and the rest of you is that you weren't all mine from the beginning. But that does't matter, all that matters is that you are mine now and will be for the rest of your life."

Callie relaxed a little into Stef and Stef used it as an opportunity to try and get her to eat again. She picked up a strip of chicken with her fingers and handed it to Callie.

"Come on baby." She said, still holding Callie. "You did so well this morning. I know you can do it again."

Callie took the strip but didn't eat it. She just held onto it, looking at it like it was poison.

Stef kissed the side of her head. "It's not so hard, little bites." Stef encouraged.

Slowly Callie took a small bite of the chicken. It was more like a nibble, but it was a start. Stef distracted her by talking about the flowers they had seen and asked her which one was a favorite. As Callie finished one strip of chicken Stef handed her another and then a third and fourth, until finally all five pieces and the carrots were gone. It was the first decent meal that Callie had eaten in over two days.

"Can I go lie down?" Callie asked.

"Sure." Stef said. "I'll clean up here and be up in a minute."

She watched Callie go before she picked up the plate and rinsed it out. She put a few things away wanting to give Callie a few more minutes of space and then headed upstairs. She was proud of Callie and she wanted her to know that. Stef entered her bedroom and found it empty. Callie had been sleeping there all the time for a week now so she assumed that that's where she'd be. She checked Callie's bed and found that empty too. Her heart began to race as she ran into her bathroom. She didn't see what she was imagining but instead she found Callie leaning over the toilet using her fingers to force herself to throw up.

Stef raced to her and pulled her hands down and trapped them there pulling Callie into a hug.

"Let me go." Callie struggled against Stef's hold, tears pouring down her face.

But Stef held on to her wrists firmly as she hugged her. "No baby, this is not the way." She said as her own tears fell along with Callie's.

"Please." Callie begged, she began shaking and Stef held on tighter.

"No baby, this isn't healthy." Stef tried to calm her down.

"I need to throw up." Callie said.

"Not if you need to force yourself to do it Callie." Stef said in a firm tone hoping to attract Callie's attention.

Stef tried to turn Callie around without releasing her wrists and when she finally managed to look at her daughter's face she realized that this situation was far more serious than they had originally thought. She suddenly realized that is was a new way for Callie to control herself now that they had put a stop to the cutting. Stef began to feel very afraid. What were they going to do?


	6. Chapter 6

Stef stayed by Callie's side for the next couple of hours, not taking her eyes off the girl, until Lena got home. Callie had finally gone to sleep about forty minutes before she arrived.

Lena walked into their bedroom to find Callie fast asleep and Stef sitting propped up in bed watching her. The look on Stef's face told her that something was very wrong.

"What happened?" Lena asked as Stef lead them both out the so as not to disturb her. "Has she eaten anything?"

"Yes," Stef said "But she tried to force herself to throw up after."

Lena's face was filled with shock. "Did she?" She asked?"

"No." Stef answered. "I stopped her, but I have no idea what to do about it."

"Neither do I." Lena admitted. "We'll talk to her doctor tomorrow. This is serious."

Both of them watched Callie from the doorway. The only time she looked peaceful was while she slept.

"She looks so normal right now." Lena said softly.

Suddenly Stef remembered their morning. She tiptoed back to her side of the bed and retrieved her phone from the nightstand and brought it back to Lena. The two sat on the floor right outside the door and Stef handed her the phone to scroll through the pictures.

"I took her to the Botanical Garden today." Stef said as Lena scrolled through the pictures and smiled. "She was so happy. All her troubles were forgotten."

"She looks it." Lena said.

"She was smiling and joking and it was so great to see." Stef said.

Lena turned the phone to show Stef a particularly funny shot of Callie trying to grab the phone away from Stef.

"We had a photo fight." Stef said. "You should see some of the pictures on her phone."

Lena smiled. When would this side of their daughter become the permanent one again? They had missed Callie's laughter and mischief. She no longer played her guitar and apart from this morning she hadn't taken pictures in ages. She knew that their Callie was still in there somewhere, they just had to help her get out.

"How was the doctors?" Stef asked.

"Great." Lena smiled. "She said we may hear a heartbeat at my next checkup."

"Really." Stef smiled as she reached out to touch Lena's stomach. She couldn't believe that she had been so worried about having this baby at first. Now she wouldn't trade her for the world.

"I spoke with Callie's teachers today." Lena said.

"You tell them what was happening?" Stef asked.

"Yeah, I did." Lena said. "They are very supportive and I'm so thankful that Sanchez is gone."

"Me too." Stef admitted.

"I spoke to them about possibly sending Callie back to school and they said that they'd keep an eye on her as well." Lena said. "I told them we'd talk next week after her appointment.

"After today I'm not sure about that." Stef said. "She had thought that Callie was making progress but the struggle just seemed to be shifting.

"I know what you mean." Lena said. "I'm so worried about her."

* * *

The kids came home one by one and soon the whole house was noisy and full of life. They were all in the kitchen together talking. Callie wasn't saying much but she knew that she wasn't allowed to leave either adult's side and so she rested her chin in her hands and watched her siblings talk.

Why had she tried to throw up, she wondered. It hadn't been her plan at all. She just didn't want to eat because she wanted to defy Stef. When had it become a desperate need not to eat at all? She was afraid of what was happening to her. She remember that this was how the cutting had started as well. She was cutting up a sandwich for Jude the day after Liam had raped her. She still had his fingerprints on her wrist where he pinned them up over her head and the sight made her want to throw up. She needed to get those prints off and so in a desperate effort for some freedom she sliced the knife across her wrist. The relief she felt was instant and soon it became a habit.

Callie had tried to stop many times but never managed to do it. In this house she didn't feel the need to do it until they asked to adopt her. After that she had to struggle to keep from doing it again and for the first time it worked. She managed to stop for a few months. But then the stop to her adoption and the news of the baby sent her over the edge and once again she was fighting to get better. Just when she finally seemed to have things under control she realized that she was doing it all over again - only in a different way and she had to make it stop.

She was brought out of her thoughts by a tap to her shoulder.

"What?" She asked looking around to see what she had missed.

"I got all the answers right on a math quiz today." Jude said. His face, that had obviously been full of joy was now clouded in worry. Something was wrong with Callie again.

"That's great bud." Callie said. She was really happy for him. He worked so hard all the time to do well in math. She just wished she had more energy so she could run and hug him.

"Okay guys homework" Lena said and watched all the kids leave to grab their bags and head to the dining room. She always liked the kids to do their homework together where she could help them all. Stef usually did some paperwork for work or the bills for the house during this time so she headed upstairs to get it too. That left Callie alone with Lena in the kitchen for a few minutes.

"Honey are you feeling okay?" Lena asked as she took a seat beside Callie.

Callie nodded but didn't look up at her. She wasn't sure how much Stef had already told her but knowing these two it was probably the whole story and she couldn't bare to see the disappointment in Lena's face.

"You know it's dangerous right?" Lena said gently, proving to Callie that her assumption was correct. "It can lead to problems out of all our control."

"I'm sorry." Callie mumbled.

"Okay." Lena said not wanting to push her further. "What would you like to eat? I think it's time you got to choose."

Callie remained silent for a while before she whispered "cheese and bacon mashed potatoes."

Lena smiled as she wrapped Callie in a hug. "You're gonna eat it right?" She asked her.

"A little." Callie answered.

* * *

Lena and Callie headed into the dining room where the others were already working on their homework. There were two seats available - one by Stef and the other between Mariana and Brandon. Callie desperately wanted to sit by Stef - she had been so disappointed in her and Callie wanted to be close to her but she wasn't sure if that was a good idea. Although she knew that Stef would never tell her not to sit with her she wondered if Stef would want a break from her - she had, after all, spent an entire day with her already.

Lena could see Callie eying Stef and she could tell that Callie wanted to go around the table and sit by her so she encouraged it.

"Why don't you go sit by mom." Lena said as she took the seat between Mariana and Brandon.

At Lena's statement Stef looked up from her work. "Come sit love." She said welcomingly as she pulled out the chair for Callie.

Lena didn't miss the small smile on Callie's face as she sat down and moved her chair ever so slightly towards Stef.

"Here's your homework Callie." Brandon handed her a worksheet and a history book. "We are starting the chapter on the Ancient Aztecs on page thirty-nine and label all the parts of the digestive system.

Callie took her book and mumbled her thanks to Brandon and began to work on the worksheet. She had missed most of the classes as she hadn't been to school in a week and she found she was unable name most of the parts.

"Honey why don't you read your history chapters first and then I'll help you with the worksheet after." Lena suggested.

Callie nodded and opened up her history book. She had her hands on her lap as she read through the pages half listening to Lena explain trig to Jesus. She wasn't really concentrating on her book and found herself glancing at Stef every so often. Why did she have to make her so mad all the time, she wondered. Every time Stef got mad at her for something she wanted nothing more than to be wrapped up in those strong, protective arms - but each time she would do exactly the thing that made her mad in the first place.

As she glanced at Stef for yet another time and then back at her book to read the same sentence for the fifth time she felt Stef's hand reach across and grab hers under the table. Stef didn't take her eyes off her own work nor make any other acknowledgement of the action, but just held on and Callie felt herself holding on as well.

* * *

After Stef was done with her work she got up and Lena took her place helping Callie research the names of all the parts of the digestive system. She explained, in brief, how the system worked and told Callie that she's work with her a little everyday to help her catch up. She wondered why she hadn't thought of this sooner. It might have been a good way to get Callie's mind off her problems. But then again - until now Callie didn't seem to have either the energy or the inclination to study.

After homework Lena when to start dinner. She was making stir-fry pork and vegetables and as per Callie's request cheesy mashed potatoes with bacon. She really hoped that Callie would actually eat some of it. While Lena was busy cooking the kids were all in their rooms and Stef and Callie were sitting in the living room. Stef was on the couch reading the paper and Callie was sitting cross-legged on a single seater scrolling through the pictures she had taken on her phone.

A few minutes later Jesus and Jude came bounding down the stairs into the living room to play video games. Jesus plopped down on the ottoman and grabbed for a game controller while Jude tentatively went to Callie.

"Hey buddy." Callie smiled up at him and made room on the small chair for him to sit.

Stef watched as Jude tentatively sat beside her.

"I'm so proud of you." Callie told Jude. "You did so great in history and now in math too."

"Thanks." Jude smiled. "Lena's been helping me."

Callie smiled at him. She missed the days when he would come to her for help, back when he was too afraid to go to anyone else. Lately he hadn't really come to her for anything and once again she felt that invisible wall that now separated them, ever since his adoption. She quickly pushed that thought away realizing that it would only lead her to get depressed again.

"Yeah she's good." Callie said instead. "She helped me with my science today too."

"Callie are you okay?" Jude asked, changing the topic entirely.

"Yeah baby. I'm fine." Callie said holding him close.

"You look different." Jude said.

"I guess I've just been a little sick that's all." Callie lied. "I think it's a bad stomach bug but I'll be fine. Don't worry." She kissed him and promptly changed the topic back to school.

"So what else is happening at school?" Callie asked him.

"Nothing really." Jude said. "We're going to start work our science fair soon. Conner, Maddie, Chelsea and I are working together. Our topic is the solar system and we are planning on making a huge model out of two refrigerator boxes." Jude said smiling.

"Wow that's big." Callie smiled. "Where are you going to get the boxes?" She asked.

"Maddie's parents just renovated their house and bought some new stuff. They also bought two fridges so they said we could use those and Conner's dad's gonna help us build it in their garage. But he says that we have to build it in pieces and assemble it in school or else it'll be too big to fit in the car."

"I can imagine." Callie smiled. "You could probably fit the car into it though."

Stef watched the exchange between the siblings. Callie really was a completely different person around Jude. It would be so easy to get Jude to convince Callie to eat and talk to her therapist but she knew that was unfair to both of them. Jude was too young to shoulder that responsibility and tricking Callie into it wasn't going to help her much either. Stef and Lena would just have to figure this out themselves with the help of the therapist.

Soon Lena called everyone to dinner and all the kids rushed to wash up before they sat down to eat. Lena joined Stef and Callie in the living room for a moment.

"I made your mashed potatoes." Lena told Callie. "You are going to eat some right?"

Callie slowly nodded and then looked at Stef. She knew that Stef would keep an eye on her after she ate and honestly she was glad. She didn't want to give in to the desire to throw up. She wanted to be normal and happy - she just didn't know how to do it and was too afraid to really try.

* * *

Soon the entire family was laughing and talking around the dinner table. Callie was sitting beside Stef again with a bowl of mashed potatoes and a glass of apple juice in front of her. She was taking small bites, much to her mothers' relief. Though neither of them brought too much attention to it.

Jesus was once again telling the family about how Emma wasn't taking things well and it was getting awkward being at practice with her and Mariana was telling him how he deserved it.

"If you stuck to just one girl you wouldn't have these problems." Mariana said.

"Or I should be like you and avoid everyone?" Jesus bit back. "Oh right, you aren't avoiding them, they're avoiding you."

"Okay enough." Lena said. "If you too can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all please."

"B, what about you how's practice going?" Stef asked. Trying to get the topic away from the twins.

"Good." Brandon said. "I'm getting used to this new style of music and we got our first gig next weekend. Allan Finns birthday."

"Wow." Stef said impressed. "You must be excited."

"Yeah excited, and nervous." Brandon said.

"Oh come on." Stef said. "You've done harder stuff than that a million times."

"Yeah but I never had to go to school with those people." Brandon laughed.

"Oh B, you'll do great." Lena encouraged.

"Just make sure you don't drink at this party please." Stef warned.

* * *

All too soon it was time for Stef to head in for her shift. She was reluctant to go and contemplated calling in sick but she knew that she couldn't keep doing that.

"We'll be fine honey." Lena assured her. "We're all going to sleep soon and you'll be back before we wake up."

"I'm leaving her pills in my bedside drawer if she needs them." Stef said. "And if anything happens..."

"...I'll call you." Lena finished for her as she gave her a quick peck on the lips and pushed her out the door.

Stef reentered the room and walked over to Callie. "I'll be home soon okay. Give me a call if you need anything. I love you." She kissed Callie on the head before she left. She wanted to tell Callie to be good for Lena and not cause too much trouble but something told her that if she had voiced it Callie probably do just that - especially since the words had come out of her mouth.

* * *

Lena had all the kids come in to her room for a while before bed. She hoped that all their energy and lighthearted banter would help to relax Callie before bed.

"We should all have a movie night tomorrow." Mariana said.

"Yeah." Jude looked up excitedly.

They all wanted to help cheer Callie up and help her get better and this was the way they knew how. Besides they knew that Stef was worried about leaving for work with Lena left to deal with Callie. They all wanted to pitch in.

"And we can have a sleepover." Mariana added.

"Where?" Lena asked.

"In the living room." Mariana answered. "The whole family. It'll be fun."

It would give Callie a chance not to be stuck between the moms and instead have her siblings around for one night.

"You can take the couch and the rest of us can sleep on the floor." Brandon added.

"Unless you're uncomfortable there. Then you and mom and go to bed and we'll have a sleepover here." Mariana said, hinting that if Lena couldn't sleep on the couch then Callie could still stay with them.

"Alright." Lena said. "It's a date. But even if I go to bed mom will stay with you guys."

Lena watched Callie's face fall slightly and so she added. "There's no need for her to miss the fun."

But all the older kids knew the truth. The only difference was that besides Callie they all thought that it was because she might cut herself.

After a while Lena sent the kids off to bed and sent Callie to brush her teeth and get dressed while she went to say good night to the other kids.

"We'll watch her tomorrow mom." Mariana said as Lena tucked her in and gave her a kiss.

"I know honey. Let me talk to mom okay, but I make no promises." Lena said.

"Okay. But I promise not to let anything happen to her. I'll stay awake all night if I have to." Mariana promised.

"That won't be necessary." Lena smiled at her daughter. "If at all we do allow it I'm sure mom will be spending half the night checking up on her anyways."

They both had to smile at the statement though both of them knew it was probably true.

Lena headed to the other two rooms to kiss her boys goodnight before she went back to her own room and found Callie already in bed hugging Stef's pillow close. She hoped that with Stef gone Callie wouldn't have a bad night.


	7. Chapter 7

Through the night Lena woke up to check on Callie. Although Callie didn't seem to wake up at all she kept moving further and further towards Stef's side of the bed, possibly trying to get closer to her, forgetting that she wasn't there.

Lena woke up for the fifth time and glanced at the clock. It was past four and Stef should have been back by now. Her shift was to have ended at three. But her side of the bed was still only occupied by Callie, although it seemed to be completely occupied by Callie and Lena figured she may have gone to sleep on the sofa. She quietly got out of bed and went in search of her wife. As she passed Mariana's door she noticed that it was open, so she peaked inside and sure enough found Stef, asleep on Callie's bed.

Lena smiled to herself as she headed back to bed. She would sleep through till morning now. Although she kept telling herself that she woke up to check on Callie, the truth was she always found it hard to sleep when Stef had the night shift.

It was just after five when Callie woke up with a start. "Where's Stef?" She asked, shaking Lena.

"Honey, she's fine." Lena told her, trying to get her to lie down again. "She's asleep in your bed."

"Oh." Callie said.

"Honey, go back to sleep." Lena patted the bed. "We still have over an hour before everyone wakes up. Usually mom sleeps in when she works the night shift but I'm sure she'll wake up with the kids today."

"Okay." Callie said as she got back into bed. But she tossed and turned, unable to fall asleep.

"Oh go wake her." Lena finally laughed after about ten minutes.

Callie was out of bed in an instant and Lena contemplated following her but she had a feeling that Callie wouldn't go anywhere besides to Stef. The two had formed a bond and Lena was so thrilled for it. She herself felt that bond with Jude.

Callie tiptoed into her room and found Stef on her bed. She wanted to wake her and crawl into bed with her but she looked so fast asleep that Callie didn't want to wake her. Instead she headed back to Lena and crawled in beside her. Lena instantly turned and wrapped herself around Callie and Callie snuggled closer. Soon the two of them were asleep again.

The alarm rang what seemed like only minutes after they finally fell asleep but when Lena turned to hit it off she saw that it was in fact six-thirty. She kissed Callie and got up to wake the rest of the kids.

"You stay here." Lena said. "I'll send mom in."

Lena went first to wake Mariana and send her for a shower. Then she gently kissed Stef awake.

"Hey." Stef said as she kissed Lena back. "Haven't woken up like that in a while."

Lena laughed. "Speaking of which, someones in our bed waiting for you."

Stef laughed. "Something I never expected my wife to say."

Lena gave her one more kiss before headed to wake the boys.

Stef crawled into her own bed on Lena's side since Callie was still cuddled with her pillow. "Hey baby, sleep well?" Stef asked as she got comfortable.

"Umhum." Callie smiled, nodding her head. She was glad that Stef was back.

Stef pulled her close, kissed her and was soon fast asleep. Callie tough was now wide awake. She tried to lie still to allow Stef to sleep but soon she found that she was fidgeting too much. She carefully pulled Stef's arm off herself and climbed out of bed and headed downstairs to Lena.

"Hey baby, what are you doing up?" Lena asked, looking up from the bacon and sausages she was frying.

"I couldn't sleep." Callie said as she sat down. "Didn't want to wake Stef."

"Wanna help me by starting on the batter for the pancakes?" Lena asked.

"Fine" Callie grumbled as she dug out a bowl and got the ingredients.

Soon all the kids were downstairs and Lena was putting a pile of fresh pancakes in the center of the table along with the bacon and sausages.

"This is my favorite." Jude said as he took two of everything.

"Pancakes? Really?" Mariana asked. "I prefer waffles."

"I love eggs." Brandon added.

"Frosted flakes." Jesus laughed, knowing his mom would give him an ugly stare, and he wasn't wrong.

They waited for Callie to add her two cents in but when she remained silent Lena piped up "Callie likes french toast right?"

Callie nodded slightly. Was she imagining it or was everything revolving around food lately.

"Well mom and I prefer whole grain bread and muesli." Lena said, stating the healthiest breakfast food she could think of.

"Who's mom?" Brandon teased, knowing that his own mom would pick pancakes and waffles over healthy food any day.

"Yours." Lena said. "If she knows what's good for her."

The next ten minutes continued in laughter and teasing until it was time for the kids to leave for school.

"Have a good day kids." Lena called as they headed out.

It was now quarter to eight and they had just over two hours before Stef and Callie had to leave for Callie's appointment. Lena had to go to the school for some meetings again but she stayed home until it was time for all of them to leave. She didn't want to go shower just yet because she didn't want to disturb Stef so after cleaning up the kitchen she turned to Callie.

"How about we crash on the sofa and see what plays on early morning TV." Lena said as she guided them into the living room.

Lena flipped through channels not really paying attention to anything. She was wondering what got Callie's mood down again. She seemed to be swinging from one emotion to the next every few minutes and Lena was finding it hard to keep up.

"What can I make you for breakfast when mom wakes up?" Lena asked her cautiously.

"Nothing." Callie mumbled. "I'm not hungry."

Lena didn't respond. She didn't want to get into an argument until it was time for breakfast. They stayed on the couch watching _The Nanny_ reruns until nine and then Lena got up to shower.

"Why don't you go wake mom while I shower." She suggested as the two headed upstairs.

Stef could tell that Callie was in a bad mood from the moment she woke up.

"What's wrong baby?" Stef asked as she reached for Callie but watched the girl pull away.

"Nothing." Callie mumbled. That's all she seemed to say lately.

"Come on." Stef coaxed. "You were all smiles earlier."

Callie shrugged. She didn't want to talk about what was bothering her. She should have realized that Stef would figure it out though. No matter how many times it happened Callie always forgot that Stef always knew what she was thinking.

"The doctor?" Stef asked gently. Knowing her answer was right even before asking it.

Callie looked away.

"Baby you know she's only trying to help us yes?" Stef asked as she reached for Callie one more time and grabbed her before she could move out of the way.

Callie remained silent as she struggled to get free.

"I love you baby." Stef said as she held onto Callie and felt the girl finally relax.

"I don't want to go." Callie finally admitted.

"I know." Stef said.

"Don't make me." Callie begged.

"Sweetheart, I have to." Stef explained. "I wouldn't be a good mom if I didn't."

Callie opened her mouth to give her usual argument at the term 'moms' but Stef cut her off.

"Think before you say anything." Stef warned.

Callie quickly closed her mouth again. She already lost that argument once, she didn't need to lose it again.

Lena came out a few minutes later. "Who's next?" She asked, oblivious to the conversion.

"Me." Callie jumped up and rushed into the bathroom before either of them could stop her.

"What?" Lena asked, turning to Stef.

"She doesn't want to go." Stef explained.

"Right." Lena understood. She began to dry her hair with a towel. "I wish I could go with you."

"I know love." Stef said. "But you've already taken so many days off already."

"Um." Lena said.

"How was she last night?" Stef asked.

"She slept through the night." Lena told her.

"And you?" Stef asked with a knowing look.

"I woke up a few times." Lena admitted. "To check on Callie." She smiled.

"Right." Stef laughed as she pulled Lena closer and kissed her. "I miss this." She said, not parting their lips to say the words.

"Me too." Lena said as she deepened the kiss.

Stef groaned. "We have to get that girl better." She said as she lay back and pulled Lena on top of her. They had a few minutes before they would have to stop again.

* * *

Callie was silent through the ride to the doctors and while they waited for their turn and Stef knew that the silence would continue even once they went in. She had refused to eat any breakfast and that only seemed to worsen her mood.

"Do you want me to come in with you?" Stef asked Callie.

She wasn't sure if Callie would respond but did receive a nod in reply.

"Alright." Stef said and smiled at her.

She could see Callie's eyes filled with sadness and fear and she wrapped an arm around her and pulled her into her side. Callie curled into a ball and tried to disappear into Stef.

"It's going to be fine love." Stef whispered to her as she stroked her hair. "No one's going to hurt you."

Soon they heard the receptionist call Callie's name.

"You can go right in honey." She said kindly.

Stef pulled Callie up and they walked into Sarah's office.

"Nice to see you again Callie." Sarah said. "How are you feeling today?"

Callie didn't reply and Stef sighed, knowing it was going to be a long hour.

"Callie's eating has gotten worse." Stef said and the doctor turned her attention to the adults.

"Worse?" She asked.

"Yes." Stef explained. "She now basically refuses to eat. She has barely half a meal in a whole day and once I caught her trying to force herself to throw up."

Stef felt Callie stiffen beside her. She wished she didn't have to do this in front of her but she wanted Callie to know just how worried they were.

"Just once?" Sarah asked.

"Yes, we've watched her like a hawk since then." Stef said.

"I see." Sarah said looking concerned and writing something down. "What about sleeping? Last time you said she wasn't doing much of that either."

"She's been sleeping through the night for the last three nights now." Stef said. "But I think it's because she's too weak and tired to stay awake."

"I see." Sarah said.

"She god dizzy two days ago and we've had to force her to eat sometimes but it's still nowhere near enough." Stef added.

"Has she taken any of the pills?" Sarah asked, referring to the sleeping pills she had prescribed.

"Not yet." Stef said. "She hasn't needed it."

"Well that's good." Sarah encouraged before turning her attention back to Callie.

"Callie can you tell me why you don't want to eat?" Sarah asked, knowing that Callie wouldn't answer. But she still wanted Callie to feel like she was included.

When Callie didn't answer she turned her attention back to Stef. "Well if she doesn't increase her appetite or gets light headed again we may need to get her into a hospital to be administered the supplements intravenously." She said slowly, knowing it would frighten the girl."

"No!" Callie said her first word at the doctors.

"Honey, I'm sorry, I'm not trying to scare you or threaten you but you need to eat." Sarah said. She was glad that at least Callie had said something though she didn't make a big deal about it.

"I don't want to." Callie said looking at Stef as tears filled her eyes.

Stef wrapped her arms around Callie. "I'll be there with you." She said softly as thought the plan was already laid out.

"We aren't there yet." Sarah said. "But Callie only you can keep that from happening."

Callie looked back at the doctor miserably.

"You need to eat at least three meals a day." Sarah continued. "Whatever you like, but healthy. And you can't try to throw it up. It can be just a little but it has to be something."

Callie nodded. She'd try anything to avoid being sent away.

"How about we set up a plan so that you know what to expect." Sarah said as she flipped the page on her notepad opening up to a new one. "We'll set up a time for you to eat and that way you know when it's coming and you can tell your mom's what you'd like beforehand.

Callie looked miserable as Sarah brought her chair closer to Callie so they could look at the page together.

"How about you have something for breakfast at nine am. Whatever you like. Eggs, toast, anything. But whatever it is it needs to be a whole one and you need to finish it. What do you like?"

Callie didn't answer so Stef did it for her. "French toast's her favorite. Pancakes too."

"Alright." Sarah said with a smile. "Well one french toast or a pancake will do just fine. Add a glass of milk or juice to that though."

"That's the only thing she seems to have with no fuss." Stef said.

"Good." Sarah said. "Let her have it throughout the day then."

"What about lunch." Sarah turned to Callie. "Around two. Tell your moms what you like. I advise eating something light and cool to start with. It helps. Maybe a salad or a cold sandwich, same thing for dinner at seven."

Callie nodded miserably.

"Honey, I know this is hard but I can see that your mom wants to help you. If you just talk to them honestly I promise you that most of your problems will just disappear." Sarah said kindly. "Can you tell me why you don't want to eat?"

Callie looked at Stef with an almost guilty look in her eyes.

"I can ask your mom to wait outside if you'd like." Sarah suggested. "It might be easier."

Callie slowly nodded and Stef gave her a squeeze before leaving the room. The moment the door closed Callie began to cry.


	8. Chapter 8

"Honey, talk to me." Sarah encouraged. She had heard about Callie's past and she really admired the girl for all she'd been through and she wanted to help her in any way she could. Stef and Lena spoke about her with so much love and Sarah wanted her to open up to them and let them in.

"I can't let her get close." Callie said.

"Who?" Sarah asked.

"Stef." Callie said. "What if they change their minds or someone comes and takes me away before I can get adopted."

"Honey, we never can tell what's going to happen in the future but you can't ruin your life worrying about it." Sarah said.

Callie just looked at her, tears still spilling from her eyes.

"Is that why you've stopped eating?" Sarah asked. "Because you're so worried."

Callie shook her head.

"Then why?" Sarah asked.

"I'm losing control." Callie said.

"Of what?" Sarah asked.

"My life." Callie said. "I never needed anyone before. I could take care of myself and Jude."

"So you're worried that you won't be able to take care of yourself if you get taken away from your moms?" Sarah asked.

Callie nodded.

"And how does not eating help?" Sarah asked.

"It makes Stef mad at me." Callie said before she could stop herself.

Sarah raised her eyebrow. That was definitely not the answer she expected.

"I mean..." Callie backtracked. "Sometimes I wish they'd leave me alone so I can be myself again."

"Yourself?" Sarah asked.

"I was stronger." Callie said. "I never let anyone know if I was hurt or upset. If things got too much then I'd cut myself to release it."

"And they stopped that." Sarah realized.

Callie nodded again.

"Was throwing up another way for getting all those feelings out?" Sarah asked finally making the connection.

"I didn't mean to do it. I won't do it again." Callie said softly. "It wasn't like I planned it. Not eating was something I realized that they couldn't control. They had me sleeping in their room and I had to be with them all the time but this, no matter what they did I still had the control."

"You know that they did all those things to keep you safe." Sarah told Callie.

"I know." Callie said. "But again I used to be able to take care of my own self."

"I can understand that." Sarah said. "Have you talked about any of this with your moms?"

This time Callie shook her head. "I can't tell them that."

"Why not?" Sarah asked.

Callie shrugged.

"What do you think will happen?" Sarah asked. "Do you think they'll get mad?"

Again Callie shook her head.

"Then what?" Sarah asked.

"They'll try to fix it." Callie said. "And I'll get weaker."

"So them taking care of you is hard for you." Sarah summarized.

"It's never happened before." Callie whispered.

Once again Sarah realized just how much Callie must have gone through in her life. She wasn't even able to let good people take care of her because her fears were ingrained so deep.

"I think that your moms would like to know what's going on and I know that they will want to help." Sarah admitted.

Callie looked dejected at the thought.

"But..." Sarah continued. "Whenever you're ready to tell them how you feel, we will find ways for them to help you without you feeling like you have no control. How does that sound?" Sarah asked.

"How?" Callie asked.

"We'll talk it out and they can tell you what they plan to do and you can tell them what you aren't comfortable with." Sarah explained.

"I want them to stop sticking by me." Callie said.

"I know." Sarah said with a smile. "But if you hurt yourself then they really can't do that can they?" She asked.

Callie shook her head. "I told them I'd never do it again."

"But you said that before right?" Sarah asked.

Callie looked down because she knew it was the truth.

"But if I never get to be on my own how can I prove to them that I won't hurt myself?" Callie asked. She felt like it was a catch-22 situation.

"Can I bring your mom in now so we can discuss it with her?" Sarah asked. "I won't say anything about what we talked about until you are ready."

Callie slowly nodded and Sarah reached to her desk and picked up the receiver. "Grace, please send Callie's mom in."

A moment later the door opened and Stef walked in and Sarah noticed the immediate change in Callie. She seemed more relaxed even though it was obvious that she was afraid of this conversation. She understood what Callie meant about never needing anyone before.

Stef took her seat next to Callie and gave her a warm smile.

"Callie, would you like to tell Stef what we talked about?" Sarah said giving the girl the chance to start.

Stef had no idea what was coming but she was so relieved that Callie had actually talked to Sarah. That was a really big step and Stef was thrilled.

"I need you to trust me." Callie said softly.

Stef looked from Callie to Sarah and back again. "Trust you about what honey?" Stef asked gently.

"I won't hurt myself again." Callie said looking up at Stef. "Even if I go to school or sleep in my own bed. I won't hurt myself. I'll come to you if I need help."

Callie and Sarah could both see the conflict in Stef's eyes.

"How about we come up with a plan for that too." Sarah suggested. "Callie you can sleep in your own room again but Stef can check you every two days or so for a while."

Callie looked uncomfortable with the thought.

"Okay." She finally said as she dug inside herself for some courage. "What about school?" Callie asked.

"Lena spoke with her teachers who all agreed to watch out for her as well." Stef interjected here. She wanted Callie to be able to go back to school as well. She was missing so much.

"Let's see how the weekend goes and we'll take it from there." Sarah suggested.

Both Stef and Callie nodded.

"Now Callie, you need to promise me that you are going to work on all this." Sarah said. "Even when it's hard and you get upset you need to try. And if you do nothing else that we talked about you need to go to your moms when you feel upset. That one is the most important."

Callie nodded. She knew it wasn't going to be easy but she really wanted to stop feeling like this all the time. The doctor had been right - knowing the plan before hand sort of made it a little easier.

Sarah turned her attention to Stef. "We did make some progress today but Callie isn't quite ready to share that yet but she is going to work on eating and staying safe."

"We are here for you love." Stef said looking at Callie.

Sarah smiled as Stef and Callie got up. She watched Callie slip her hand into Stef's as they said thank you and left.

* * *

On the drive home Stef was worried about giving Callie her space. How was it going to work? She wondered. She was worried that Callie was only saying what they wanted to hear. She knew that she'd be raiding the kids bathroom again before tonight. She also knew that she would be going into work at night anymore. Maybe if Callie was able to start school again she could take the morning shifts.

But Callie did seem sincere and as worried as Stef was about Callie she genuinely hoped that Callie really was trying to get better.

* * *

They got home and Callie asked if she could sit in the back yard while Stef made lunch. They were going to take the doctor's advice and stick to a salad and cold turkey sandwich. Stef agreed and Callie walked outside.

As Stef began grating the vegetables for the salad she watched Callie's body start to shake. She was leaning against the tree with her knees up and her head buried and obviously she was crying. Stef wanted to go to her but obviously the girl wanted some time alone and as long as she was safe Stef would give her that space.

Callie wasn't sure how she was going to do this. She was afraid - everyone was going to constantly be looking at her, wondering what she would do. She agreed to eat but looking at Stef pull out the vegetables made it harder. It was easier to agree to this plan sitting in the doctor's office but actually having a plate of food in front of her wasn't as easy.

Callie thought about what the doctor had said about telling Stef what was bothering her and coming up with a mutual way to help her, one where Callie wouldn't lose all her control. Talking about her feelings wasn't something Callie had had a lot of practice with but she knew without a doubt that if she tried Stef and Lena would support her and try to help her on her own terms. There were somethings that they would put their foot down about but she knew that even those things were only to help her and keep her safe.

Callie remembered how happy she had been when she had finally stopped cutting herself after the Olmstead's. She had been so proud of herself. Her biggest worry about it back then wasn't the cuts itself but the worry that Jude would find out. She had to keep them hidden from him. But he had been so young so he didn't really know anything. The few times that he had seen a bandage she told him that she hurt herself and he had just accepted it - Callie had had a ton of foster-parent related injuries before to make it believable.

Now though Callie didn't have to worry about Jude. No matter what happened to her she knew that he was safe. He was an Adam's Foster now and with that came the security and freedom to be himself. But Callie wasn't that lucky yet. Now her worry was that she had learnt to be a part of a family when she wasn't really one. How would she survive on her own again if she had to.

Those retched feelings started building up in Callie again and she hadn't even had her freedom for an hour yet and she was already thinking about cutting herself to let it out. Just the thought made her turn around to look through the window into the kitchen and she saw Stef standing there, looking back at her. The worry on her face evident.

'It's now or never'. Callie told herself as she got up and headed inside.

The salad and sandwiches were ready now but neither of them touched it as both of them sat opposite each other waiting for Callie to say something.

It was obvious to Stef that Callie had something to say and was trying to find the courage to get it out. So she waited patiently.

"I'm not sure how to do this." Callie finally said and Stef creased her eyebrows wondering what Callie meant.

"Do what?" She asked.

"Talk about things." Callie said honestly but Stef misinterpreted it.

Stef heard the words as Callie admitting that she couldn't come to them if she needed to while Callie was trying, in fact, to do just that.

"Honey you don't even have to talk okay." Stef said, slightly panicked. "If you don't want to talk you don't have to. Just come to us. Stay with us and we'll work it out."

Once again Stef was trying to fix things by taking control and Callie really found herself at a loss of how to explain herself. She began to cry as her emotions took over again.

"Honey." Stef said as she reached across the table for Callie's hand.

But Callie pulled her hand away in anger. This wasn't going her way at all and each time she tried to reach out Stef would just take over and she couldn't take it anymore.

"No." She yelled as she pushed her stool away from the table and as far from Stef as possible. "Just stop."

Stef was shocked. What had just happened? What had she done wrong?

"Callie..." She began, but she wasn't sure what to say.

"Just leave me alone please." Callie begged. "I need you to just let me be."

Tears were falling down her face now and she was unable to stop them

"I can't talk about this." She mumbled more to herself than to Stef.

"Talk about what?" Stef asked.

But Callie couldn't do it. She wasn't ready yet. This was too much for her.

"I won't hurt myself I promise." Callie said instead. "Please can I go to my room. You can check up on me if you want."

Callie looked so broken that Stef didn't have the heart to say no. She was extremely worried about Callie but Callie's offer to let her check up on her gave her the feeling that she was telling the truth.

"Can you eat your sandwich first?" Stef asked slowly, afraid that it would cause another outburst.

But to her surprise, Callie pulled her stool forward again and silently ate up her entire sandwich. Stef watched without moving and when she was finally done Callie looked up at Stef silently questioning her if she could go now. Stef nodded and as Callie was leaving the room she stopped her.

"I'm right here honey." Stef said. "If you need me I'm right here."

Callie nodded and headed upstairs.

Stef couldn't shake the fear she felt but she forced herself to wait at least twenty minutes before checking up on Callie.


	9. Chapter 9

After a grueling twenty minutes Stef makes her way upstairs, afraid of what she might find. Will Callie have hurt herself? Will she have thrown up? Will she even still be there? Stef held her breath as she carefully opened Callie's bedroom door and found her curled on her bed fast asleep. Her face was streaked with dried tears and her nose and the rims of her eyes were still red and puffy.

Stef wanted to go and hug her to take away her pain but she was afraid that Callie wouldn't like that. So instead she grabbed the blanket off Mariana's bed and carefully draped it across Callie. She stood over her for a few minutes just looking at her. How could life be so cruel to one little girl, she wondered. What could Callie possibly have ever done to deserve this?

Stef felt tears fill her own eyes so she quietly left the room but left the door open so that she could hear Callie when she woke up. She headed into her own room and tried to figure out what had happened. Callie had been a little down when they left the doctor's but she came into the kitchen by herself and she seemed to want to talk to Stef about something, but then suddenly she got completely upset. Only Stef didn't know what about.

Stef continued to go over the entire thing in her mind until she was driving herself nuts. Then she pulled out the card that the doctor had given her and dialed the number.

"I'd like to speak with Dr. Briggs please. My daughter Callie is a patient of hers." Stef said and then waited to be connected.

"Mrs. Adam's Foster." Sarah said into the phone a few minutes later.

"Dr. Briggs. I'm so sorry to call like this." Stef began.

"It's no trouble. Is Callie alright?" Sarah asked.

"I'm not sure." Stef admitted. She then proceeded to tell Sarah exactly what had happened - at least as far as she knew.

"I'm just so worried that she'll hurt herself if I don't watch her." Stef ended.

"What she was trying to share with you isn't bad I promise." Sarah said. "We talked about it but she isn't quite ready to share it with you yet. What I can tell you is that Callie doesn't _want _to hurt herself. She does want to get better, only she isn't sure how to do that. Her goal isn't to get away from you to cut herself or force herself to throw up or anything else, that's just her way of coping when her emotions get too much for her. That's when you come in and remind her that she's still loved and still wanted. The rest of the time give her her space."

"How do I know when she's reached that point?" Stef asked.

Sarah thought for a moment, trying to answer that question without giving away too much of what Callie had said. "When she pushes you away or does something just to annoy you, that's when you worry." Sarah said honestly.

Stef was shocked at the statement and she was now more curious than ever about what Callie and Sarah had talked about while she stepped outside. But she didn't ask. She knew that Sarah couldn't tell her and it wasn't fair to Callie to even try. Besides she was more concerned about making sure that Callie was safe and she wasn't sure she'd be able to read the signs correctly.

"I know it's hard to let her go and risk it but we want her to trust us and so we need to trust her as well." Sarah continued as though reading Stef's thoughts. "We take every precaution we can but we still need to give her some freedom. It will mean a little more work for you though."

"That's not important." Stef said quickly. She's go to the moon and back if it meant helping Callie.

"Check on her a couple of times and set aside some time for just the two of you to talk so that she feels like you're still around but she needs some space as well." Sarah explained. "Don't rush her into saying anything she isn't comfortable with, let her come to you in her own time."

"I can do that." Stef said. Things seemed more manageable now with the things that Sarah was telling her.

"Did she eat anything for lunch?" Sarah asked.

"A sandwich." Stef said.

"That's good." Sarah said. "Hopefully our plan will work but if it doesn't and she stops eating again don't threaten her with trips to the hospital. If at all she does need to go in we don't want her terrified of it."

"She things we'll leave her there doesn't she?" Stef asked before she could stop herself and Sarah's silence told her that she was right.

"Just relax and take things easy. See how the weekend goes and call me on Sunday night to discuss her progress and school." Sarah said.

"Sunday? Are you sure?" Stef asked.

"Positive." Sarah said with a smile. "And feel free to call me any time before then if you need to."

"Thank you Doctor." Stef said. "You've really been a big help."

"My pleasure." Sarah said. "You're doing great. Don't worry."

They said goodbye and Stef hung up feeling a little more relaxed and capable of handling the situation. Somehow Sarah telling her that Callie didn't actually want to hurt herself helped her a lot. If she could just make sure to be there when Callie got to that point then Callie wouldn't have to do anything.

* * *

Stef's thought's continued to play through her mind for the rest of the day. She knew that Callie's biggest fear was still being sent away but unfortunately she couldn't do anything about that until Robert Quinn was found. No amount of reassuring was going to convince Callie - she obviously needed that tangible piece of evidence to prove that she was theirs. The other part that bothered Stef was what Sarah had said about Callie doing something just to annoy her. Thinking back she realized that that happened very often. Does that mean that each time Callie did something she wanted to hurt herself instead? Stef also knew that she didn't do it as much to Lena. Was she more afraid that Stef would leave her?

Just as Stef was getting worked up again she was pulled out of her thoughts by a sound in the house. She knew it meant that Callie was up but both their doors were open so she decided to wait a moment and see what would happen. Sarah's confidence in Callie was catching and Stef found herself hoping that Callie would just come to her.

Stef was rewarded a moment later by a figure standing at her door.

"Come in love." Stef said as she patted the bed beside her. "Good nap?" She asked as Callie climbed in, rubbing her sleepy eyes.

Callie nodded and snuggled close to Stef.

Stef smiled - now was obviously not one of those times. At lease Callie seemed more willing to come to her by herself now. Just a few months ago Callie would never initiate any physical contact by herself.

As Stef was marveling at this progress that Callie had made, Callie was scolding herself yet again for needed someone so much. Stef was the first person that Callie had never needed to be around to feel safe and loved and that angered her more and more. It was ironic that the thing that made her feel calm and happy was also the thing that angered her and took away her strength.

Callie felt Stef's hand reach up to her head and begin to comb through her hair. The feeling was so soothing that Callie found herself moving closer to Stef and calming down. Her thoughts were momentarily pushed away as she just enjoyed being in Stef's embrace.

Callie imagined that is was how Jude must have felt after a really bad day when Callie would hold him close at bedtime, stroking his hair and promising to protect him from everything. She had tried her best to keep that promise but it hadn't always been possible. But he believed her each and every time. Callie wished that she was naive enough to believe it whenever Stef said the same thing to her.

After laying like that for a while Callie pulled herself up to look at Stef and Stef smiled at her.

"Can we go for a walk?" Callie asked.

"Sure." Stef said. "A walk sounds great."

* * *

Soon Stef and Callie found themselves walking towards the school. It was almost time for school to end so they decided to walk their and drive back with Lena and Jude. Brandon was spending the night with Mike and the twins both had practice. Stef thought it would be nice for just the four of them to have some time together. She knew that Jude missed his sister a lot lately and while she was feeling better she decided to give them some time together.

Lena and Jude was surprised to see Stef and Callie waiting at the car.

"Callie." Jude yelled as he ran over and gave Callie a hug.

"What are you two doing here?" Lena asked as she reached the group.

"We thought we'd surprise you." Stef said with a smile as she and Lena watched the siblings hug.

Callie looked so happy to be around Jude and Stef knew that this was the perfect therapy for her.

"How about some ice-cream?" Stef suggested.

"Yeah!" Jude looked up with bright eyes.

"What are you gonna get?" Stef asked as they all climbed into the car.

"Banana split, with chocolate, vanilla and strawberry ice-cream, whipped cream, chocolate fudge sauce, nuts and a cherry." Jude rambled off.

"Not a chance buddy." Lena said. "Dinner's in a few hours and after that I'm sure you won't eat again until next Wednesday.

"I'll share it with you." Callie quickly piped up and Stef and Lena both looked at each other. They had imagined that Callie would try to avoid eating anything but here she was offering to split a sundae with Jude. Stef gave Lena a look telling her to give in.

"Alright." Lena said. "You two can share."

All four of them smiled but for very different reasons. Jude was getting his sundae so he was thrilled. Callie not only agreed to eat but actually offered which thrilled Stef and Lena and Callie was happy because not only was she helping Jude get what he wanted but she also found a small way to show Stef that she was trying. She knew that the gesture didn't go unnoticed - she could see their smiles.

Soon the four of them were sitting at a table at the Daily Scoop, Callie and Jude sharing an enormous sundae that made Lena's stomach ache just looking at it while she and Stef shared a double scoop dark chocolate with white chip cup. Callie and Jude were laughing and talking and anyone who looked on would think that they were the happiest kids in the world.

"The teacher made him write her an apology note and read it out in front of the whole class." Jude said laughing so hard that he nearly choked.

"It serves him right for being so mean to her." Callie replied smiling at him.

"I'm proud of you for sticking up for her baby." Lena said.

"Yeah," Stef added. "It takes a lot of courage to do that."

By now they had all finished their ice-cream and just as Lena said Jude felt like he couldn't eat another bite for at least a week, and that was after sharing his ice-cream.

But Lena couldn't have cared less right now. Both her kids were happy and safe and that's all she wanted.

* * *

Three hours later the family was sitting down to dinner. Both Callie and Jude were pushing their food around their plates, still too full to really eat. Jude didn't care much but Callie was worried about how it would look to Stef and Lena. She had promised to eat a little and all she had in front of her was some pasta and some salad but after a few bites she began to really feel sick. Her stomach had gotten used to the smaller amounts of food and today's ton of ice-cream wasn't helping at all.

Callie was terrified of actually throwing up that she was concentrating so hard on keeping her food down and totally tuned out the whining of the twins.

"We want ice-cream too." Mariana whined for the fifth time. "How come you didn't wait for us?"

"We don't love you as much." Stef said as she winked at Lena.

Mariana knew it was only a joke but she mocked hurt anyways. "Geez thanks mom."

"Any time love." Stef teased back.

"We should stage a protest." Jesus suggested as he cleared his and Mariana's plates.

"Okay. But then you guys won't get any of this." Stef said as she pulled two tubs of ice-cream out of the freezer.

"Ohh." Mariana smiled reaching for the raspberry sorbet and passing the cookies n cream one to Jesus.

"Thanks moms." They said as they dug in.

Stef and Lena smiled before turning their attention to the other two. Both were struggling and they felt bad for them. Callie had eaten a little more than Jude but Stef suspected that it was more out of fear than anything else.

"You guys can be done." Stef said.

Jude immediately looked relieved and got up to put his plate away but Callie looked apprehensive.

"It's fine love." Stef said.

Callie followed Jude and put her plate away as well. She was feeling more and more nauseous but terrified of throwing up. She didn't want to be sent away. They wouldn't believe that she was really sick this time. Why the hell had she ever started that she wondered.


	10. Chapter 10

Stef and Lena sent the kids to watch TV while they cleared up. They were going to have the movie night that the kids had planned the day before and then all the kids were going to sleep together in the living room.

Stef and Lena were moving in a smooth rhythm putting things away and talking about Callie's first night away from them when Callie slowly walked into the kitchen. She looked sweaty and terrified.

"Honey are you okay?" Stef asked her as she helped her down onto a stool.

Callie looked up at her, afraid to say what she felt.

"Sweetheart what is it?" Lena asked sitting down next to her.

"I don't feel good." Callie whispered as tears filled her eyes.

"What do you mean?" Lena asked as she placed a hand on Callie's forehead. "You don't have a fever."

"I feel sick." Callie mumbled looking down at her hands avoiding Stef. "But I'm not doing it on purpose I promise."

Stef and Lena instantly knew what she meant.

"That's okay honey." Stef said as she patted Callie's back. "All that ice-cream was probably too much for your stomach right now."

Callie looked up at Stef with so much relief in her eyes that Stef had to laugh. "When are you going to learn to just come to us without putting yourself through all this?" She asked as she pulled Callie in and kissed her head.

Callie leaned into the hug for a few seconds before her hand flew to her mouth, her eyes wide.

"Come on." Stef pulled her up and rushed her to the bathroom just in time for Callie to throw up into the toilet.

Stef held her hair and rubbed her back until she was done and then helped Callie sit down. She handed her a cup of water and then she got a clean hand towel off the shelf and wet it with cold water before placing it on Callie's forehead.

"Feel better?" She asked as she wiped Callie's face with the cool cloth.

Callie nodded. She was drained and she felt week but her stomach finally stopped protesting.

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

"Don't be." Stef said. "Everyone gets sick sometimes and throws up. We just don't want you to force yourself to do it just because you've eaten something."

"I know." Callie said. "I didn't mean to do that."

"I know." Stef repeated her phrase as she continued to hold Callie. "And I'm proud of you for coming to us."

"I was afraid if I threw up you'd send me away." Callie said softly.

"Sweetheart, we are never, _ever _going to send you away." Stef explained. "When will you believe that?"

"But Dr. Briggs said that I might have to go to hospital." Callie reminded Stef.

"Sweetheart that's just because you weren't eating anything." Stef assured her. "It would be like if someone broke a bone or got in an accident. We won't leave you there forever."

Callie looked away. She didn't want to be left there for even one night.

"Even if you did have to go in, one of us would stay with you." Stef added, as though reading Callie's thoughts.

Callie looked up at her, her eyes wide. "You'd stay with me?" She asked.

"Yes love." Stef said softly. She wished that Callie knew that already and didn't look so surprised at the thought. "Just like I stayed with Jesus when he broke his leg and with Brandon when he had his tonsils removed. Just like mama stayed with me when I was shot, remember that?"

Callie nodded. She did remember that one. Back then she was still brave and strong and she helped take care of the others. Mariana and Jesus were so afraid of what they had done, Brandon was angry at them and Jude kept thinking about their mom. Callie was the only one who was able to keep it together. She had been afraid that Stef would die and that Lena would send them away but she was still strong enough to survive. Now she wasn't as strong, now she needed them and so now if she lost them she knew she wouldn't survive.

Once again she found those thoughts pulling her down and she was unable to stop them. She moved further into Stef and felt Stef tighten the arm around her. She instantly began to feel better.

"Don't let go." She whispered, too softly to really be heard.

But Stef did hear and she put down the towel and wrapped both arms around Callie. She had finally asked for something and Stef was going to give it to her. She held on to Callie for a while, sitting quietly, kissing the top of her head every so often.

After a while there was a knock on the door. "Everything okay? Lena asked as she opened the door and poked her head in.

"She's feeling better." Stef said. She knew it was time for them to get off the floor but she didn't want to let go of Callie, at least not until she warned the teen that she was going to do so.

"Let's get out of here Callie." Stef said as she gently shook her. "Why don't you go up and brush your teeth and change and come back down, then we'll start the movie."

Callie waited a few more minutes in the embrace before she pushed herself up. Stef gave her one more squeeze before she let her go.

* * *

Soon the whole family was sitting around the living room watching The Dark Knight. Jude and Jesus were already lying in their sleeping bags in front of the coffee table, Stef and Lena were sitting in the middle of the couch with Mariana next to Lena and Callie next to Stef. All four of them had their feet up on the coffee table.

As the movie continued Jude and Mariana became more and more afraid as the movie went on and finally Jude jumped up and ran to Stef and Callie plopping himself between them. They all laughed until there was a loud bang and suddenly Mariana, Lena and Jude all buried their heads. Stef, Callie and Jesus were the only brave ones. Stef put her arms around Lena and Jude and held them close. Jesus went to join them on the couch and pretty soon it was over crowded with all six of them but none of them minded one bit. As the movie continued Mariana, Lena and Jude screeched louder and louder and Jesus added to the fun my scaring Mariana and Lena from behind.

By the end of the movie Mariana were crying because Rachel died and Jude and Jesus were laughing at her. Stef, Lena and Callie however, were beginning to get nervous, the end of the movie meant the beginning of Callie's first night unsupervised. All four kids began getting organized for their sleepover - both girls between their brothers. Callie felt just a little bit more in control having Jude right there next to her. He always kept her grounded and she knew she'd never do anything in front of him.

After kissing all the kids goodnight and before heading back upstairs Stef and Lena called Callie into the kitchen.

"You ready for this?" Stef asked her with a smile. She was nervous but she wanted to give Callie as much confidence as she could.

Callie slowly nodded but her expression told them something else.

"We're right upstairs if you need us." Stef reminded.

"You can come in anytime." Lena added.

"We love you." Stef said as they both kissed her and sent her back to the living room.

They waited until all four kids were tucked in and zipped up before turning out the lights and heading upstairs.

Right before Stef hit the switch she noticed Mariana reach across and grab Callie's hand in support. She smiled at the sight - Callie would make it though the night, she had her siblings to help her.

* * *

But that didn't stop Stef from laying awake worrying for the next two hours.

"You really need to sleep." Lena said as Stef sighed for the fifth time. She was worried too but she was more rational than Stef. "You can't stay up all night honey."

"I know." Stef said, though she had every intention of doing just that.

"Go check on her." Lena said with a smile, finally fed up of Stef's ridged posture.

Stef looked at her for a moment before nodding and quietly creeping out of the room.

Lena watched her go and laughed to herself. Oddly enough they seemed to have slept better in a crowded bed.

Stef tiptoed down the stairs as quietly as she could and peaked her head around into the living room. She found all four kids laying still and breathing evenly. She couldn't tell if Callie was actually asleep or not but she didn't seem to be fidgeting or crying so Stef decided to leave her.

"How was she?" Lena asked as Stef came back into the room leaving their door open.

"Asleep I think." Stef said.

"Good, now maybe we can get some sleep as well." Lena smiled as Stef climbed back into bed. "Relax honey." Lena said as she curled into Stef's side - something she hadn't been able to do in so long.

"This is nice." Lena said after a few minutes of silence. "I missed sleeping like this."

"Me too." Stef said, kissing Lena's head.

Lena tilted her head up so Stef could repeat the kiss on her lips and then rolled away back to her side of the bed.

"Where are you going?" Stef asked reaching to pull Lena back.

"I'm going to sleep on my side." Lena said.

"But it's our first night together too." Stef protested.

"I know." Lena smiled. "But I also know that you're going to be getting in and out of bet to check on Callie all night and I'd really like to get some sleep."

Stef laughed too but what started out as a laugh ended as an exhausted sigh. "I'm just worried." She admitted.

"I know babe." Lena said gently. "I am too, but we have to trust her."

"That's what the doctor said too." Stef said.

"She's smart." Lena smiled. "She's got Jude and the twins with her and all three of them will look out for her."

"You're right." Stef said finally. "She's going to be fine."

"But you're still going to check on her soon." Lena finished as she turned out their lights and lay back.

"Just once or twice." Stef admitted sheepishly.

"Yeah right." Lena laughed.

* * *

By eight the next morning Stef had checked on Callie a total of six times, leaving her with less than an hour of sleep at a stretch, but she was relieved to see that Callie was asleep each time that she checked on her. It was after nine by the time the kids started to wake up and by then Stef and Lena were both showered, dressed and out in the back yard drinking coffee.

Callie was the first to wake up and as she unzipped herself from her sleeping bag Mariana woke up too.

"You okay?" Mariana asked quietly.

"Yeah." Callie smiled.

Mariana smiled back. They had made it though the night, Mariana still holding the hand that she had grasped hours earlier.

"Thank." Callie said softly.

"That's what sisters are for." Mariana whispered back as the two of them left the living room, without disturbing the boys.

"Coming up?" Mariana asked Callie.

"I'm gonna go see moms first." Callie said.

Mariana's face lit up. "You call them..."

"I know." Callie said. "It's our secret."

Both girls laughed before going their separate ways.

* * *

Hey baby." Lena smiled as Callie opened the back door. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah," Callie smiled back, taking a seat between them. "Apart from waking up once to _someone _tripping on the stairs." She gave Stef a playful look.

Stef looked back sheepishly. "Did you really think I wouldn't check up on you?" She said, her voice full of love. "I just wanted you to be safe love. I wanted to be there for you if you needed me."

"I know." Callie said. "Thanks."

"So how was it?" Stef asked. "We want details."

"It was okay." Callie said. "I was kinda nervous."

"Why?" Lena asked with worry in her voice.

"I guess because I had the freedom to do whatever I wanted." Callie answered honestly. "But strangely, that freedom is what kept me from even trying."

Both women smiled as their eyes met. The night had been a success and hopefully from now on there would be steady progress.

* * *

A short while later the kitchen was bustling with noise as the kids all grabbed for waffles, syrup, whipped cream and fruit.

"Jesus." Lena chastised as she watched her son spray what looked like half a can of whipped cream over his waffle. "I can't even see your waffle under that mountain of cream."

"It's there." Jesus assured her as he grabbed some berries from a bowl and sprinkled them over the whipped cream topping it off with some caramel sauce.

"See, this is why we don't have these breakfast often." Stef laughed as she dug her own spoon into Jesus' whipped cream and stole some.

"Which is why it's okay to indulge when we do." Jesus shot back as he pulled his plate out of Stef's reach.

They all dug in until Stef noticed that Callie wasn't touching her food.

"Honey." She said gently, silently reminding her that she had to eat.

"I think I'm done with sugar for a while." Callie answered, all the sweet stuff in front of her reminded her of the miserable feeling after eating ice-cream the night before.

"Alright." Stef said slowly. "How about some cereal or toast?" She needed Callie to eat something, anything. She had hardly eaten much the night before, not including the ice-cream.

Callie waited a moment as a two stared at each other before finally sighing. "Cereal's fine." She said and watched Stef get up and grab the box of wheat flakes and milk before setting it in front of Callie along with a bowl and spoon.

"Just a little love." Stef assured her with a wink.

Callie carefully pored out the bare minimum that she could pass off as an actual meal and then poured some milk over it. She took her first bite and then looked up at her moms. Both of them were looking at her, a mixture of pride and sympathy in their eyes. She could clearly see just how worried they both were about her - both had dark circles under their eyes which hadn't been there a week ago, both kept watching her, ready to protect her from anything and both had so much love in their eyes when she looked into them that she wanted to give them something back. She didn't have much to give but she knew that even a small gesture would go a long way.

She reached across Jude for the bowl of berries and pulled it close before grabbing a handful and adding it to her cereal. This time when she looked back up at her moms they both had smiles on their faces.


	11. Chapter 11

Saturday continued to be a good day for the family. Mike dropped Brandon off just before lunch and Lena was in such a good mood that she told Stef to invite him to stay. She was making pot roast with potatoes and vegetables and roasted squash and cherry pie for desert. Everyone was laughing and talking and Brandon was telling them how excited he was about his first real gig.

"We get paid and everything." He said proudly. He had come such a long way since he found out that he probably would never play classical music again.

"As long as it doesn't interfere with your school work I'm happy for you." Stef told her son.

"Yes, remember mid-terms are next month." Lena reminded him.

"I know, we aren't gonna take any more gigs until they are over." Brandon reassured her.

"Have you been offered any more gigs?" Mariana teases.

"No." Brandon said but that's besides the point.

They all laughed. This was a trial gig for them. Allan was Matt's friend and technically he was the guinea pig.

"But hopefully after Allan's party we'll be overbooked." Brandon said optimistically.

"After mid-terms." Lena reminded him.

The conversation moved to other things through the course of the meal and the only one remaining quiet was Callie. She had just a little of the potatoes and vegetables from the pot roast in her plate along with some squash and she didn't want to draw any extra attention to herself.

* * *

After a huge lunch everyone headed off to do their own thing for a while. Jesus offered to teach Jude how to skateboard while Brandon when up to practice. Mariana convinced Callie to let her do her nails and Callie figured it was a better option than being watched by her mom's all day.

This left Stef, Lena and Mike alone for a while. The three headed into the living room with a bottle of coke and three glasses.

"So how's it been around here?" Mike asked. "Brandon said that Callie's doing better."

"She seems to be." Stef said smiling. "She slept downstairs with the kids last night and it seemed to be a success."

"Man." Mike laughed. "I definitely don't miss the days of a kid sleeping between us." He joked, remembering the times that Brandon would interrupt them.

"Oh Brandon did that for a long time after too." Lena said. "He was almost seven when it finally stopped and by then we had the twins. Mariana was a frequent visitor."

"We had to be so careful." Stef added. "She was so quiet that we never knew when she'd turn up."

"Bet you thought those days were behind you." Mike laughed.

"Yeah well not for long." Stef said stroking her hand over Lena's stomach.

"Hey listen, why don't I take the kids out tonight." Mike suggested.

"What?" Stef asked.

"Yeah," Mike said. "They're great kids and I love them too plus it'll give you two some time to yourselves."

"You don't have to do that Mike." Stef said.

"No, no, no." Mike stopped her. "I want to. The last time we really had fun. We can go bowling and then stop for pizza or something. Tomorrows Sunday so they don't even have to be home early."

"Are you sure?" Lena asked. An evening alone with her wife sounded like a wonderful idea to her and if Mike was offering she was gonna take him up on it.

"Yeah." Mike said smiling. As much as he regretted that his marriage had ended, he loved Stef's new family as his own and he loved all the kids too.

"Thanks Mike." Stef said giving him a genuine smile. He was so pleasant to be around when he wasn't drinking. She was glad that they had remained friends at least after the divorce, not just for Brandon's sake but for their own as well.

* * *

Mike hung around for another couple of hours. After sitting with Stef and Lena for a while they all headed outside to watch the boys. Jude had fallen down about five times now and had scrapes on his elbows, knees and chin but he didn't seem to mind.

"Come on in bud." Lena said. "Let me clean that up."

"I'm fine mom." Jude protested but Lena caught hold of his hand and dragged him inside.

"Ready to shoot some hoops?" Stef asked Mike and Jesus as she grabbed a ball from a basket on the porch.

"Bring it on." Mike said. He knew there was a good chance that Stef would win but it was fun to try and beat her.

"Mike and me against you." Jesus said, knowing they had a better chance of winning as a team.

"Done." Stef said. "Jude can be on my team when he gets back."

"What about Lena?" Mike asked.

"She can keep score." Stef and Jesus said together.

"O-kay." Mike dragged out the word, realizing there was a reason behind their comment.

"The last time she tried to play mom passed the ball to her and she screamed at her for 'trying to attack her' and didn't talk to her all day." Jesus explained.

"Okay, 'hough with the chatter and let's start the game already." Stef said as she began to dribble the ball.

By the time Lena and Jude got back from cleaning him up and checking on the girls Stef had already scored two points.

"Hey buddy you're on my team." Stef called to Jude.

"Alright!" Jude smiled as he ran to join the others, bandaids on both his knees and elbows. He had flat out refused to have one on his chin.

Lena sat on the steps far away from the ball and cheered for whoever had it in had.

"You gotta pick a side mom." Jesus said.

"Yeah." Mike said. "Pick ours. We could use the support."

Lena laughed. "I'm not even sure what's happening." She admitted.

Soon Brandon and Mariana wandered down and sat on either side of Lena. Both Stef and Lena instantly noticed their missing daughter and the game instantly stopped, a worried look passed between both moms.

"She's okay." Mariana said, reading their faces. "She's in the kitchen getting water. She'll be out here in a minute."

Stef and Lena looked first at Mariana and then around at the faces of the other kids. They had grown so much recently and they were so proud of them. They did their part to help their sister and make sure that she was safe.

Stef returned to the game but it was obvious that her head was no longer in it. She lost the ball twice for no good reason before Callie finally came out and sat down in front of Mariana, leaning back against her legs. Lena gently placed her hand on Callie's head, relieved that she was okay. Giving her this space and trusting her was harder than they had thought it would be.

* * *

Soon everyone headed inside to shower and change before leaving with Mike. The kids had been thrilled at the plan, even they had enjoyed their last outing with him; he wasn't nearly as strict as their moms. Even Callie seemed glad with the plan - it was her first time in forever without either of her moms around and just the thought made her relax.

"Do NOT take your eyes off her even for a second." Stef instructed for the fourth time.

"I promise." Mike said again. "I'll treat her just like the hardened criminal that she is."

Stef punched him in the arm and Lena laughed.

"Make sure she eats something too." Stef added.

"I know you're worried honey but she'll be fine." Lena said as she wrapped her arms around her wife. "Everyone will watch out for her. She needs this and frankly so do we."

Stef gave Lena a dirty look but then pulled her closer and wrapped her own arms around her. "Alright." She finally conceded. "But if anything happens..."

"We'll call." Mike finished. "I promise."

* * *

After about a million 'byes' and 'love yous' Mike and the kids finally left leaving Stef and Lena absolutely alone for the first time in over a week.

The two sat down to dinner. They were having leftovers from lunch since it was just the two of them and neither of them were really in the mood to make anything fancy.

"It seems quiet suddenly." Stef said as she took a bite of the roast.

"Um." Lena agreed. "Peaceful."

"I miss the noise." Stef said.

"Don't worry. I'll be back soon enough." Lena laughed.

"What's the plan for tomorrow?" Stef asked.

"Just a lazy day." Lena said. "Everyones gonna be home most of the day."

"No plans?" Stef asked.

"Jesus is going out with some friends in the evening and Brandon is going over to Matt's to practice. I don't think Mariana's doing anything and Jude may go over to Conner's to work on their project but I'm not sure."

"Wow. When did our teenagers all have time to spend the whole weekend with us?" Stef asked shocked.

"Stranger things have happened." Lena joked.

"Like what?" Stef challenged.

Lena thought hard for a minute but then they both started laughing when she couldn't think of anything.

Stef got up to clear away their plates. She was just about to start rinsing them out when she felt Lena's arms wrap around her.

"Let's go upstairs." Lena said in a seductive tone. She had never admitted it but lately she had been craving Stef's touch constantly - when she wasn't worrying about Callie that is. She knew it was the hormones because of the pregnancy that caused this change in her but god did she need Stef to help her through it.

Lena began unbuttoning Stef's shirt the moment they entered their bedroom. She was tantalizingly close to pulling it completely off when Stef interrupted her.

"Should we just call and find out how it's going?" Stef asked.

Lena sighed. This was not going the way she wanted it to.

"I'm sure they're fine honey." She said softly, tugging at the ends of the green plaid shirt to pull it out of Stef's jeans, hoping to get Stef in the mood.

"I know but she can be so secretive sometimes." Stef said, totally oblivious to Lena's efforts.

Lena sighed again as she pushed away from Stef. "Go ahead." She said as she handed Stef the phone. "You won't rest until you do."

She waited while Stef made the call though she only heard her side of the conversation she was able to decipher that Callie was in fact doing fine and all the kids were enjoying a round of bowling. Apparently they had made two teams and were having a competition.

When Stef finally hung up the phone Lena pulled it out of her hands and tossed it on the nightstand. "Better?" She asked as she straddled Stef and pushed her back onto the bed.

She began kissing Stef and reached down to the button on her jeans when Stef once again interrupted her.

"I know we decided to wait until tomorrow morning to check her but do you think we should do it tonight instead?" Stef asked. Clearly her mind was elsewhere and Lena wasn't getting anywhere with her.

"Stef would you please just enjoy this little time we have alone together." Lena begged. She had been waiting for this for so long and she really didn't want to miss a perfect opportunity. Not only was there no one in their bed but there was also no one in their house and with five teenagers that rarely happened.

"I'm sorry love." Stef said, suddenly realizing what Lena was trying to do. She pulled Lena back down to resume the kissing but it was obvious to both of them that her head wasn't in it.

After a few minutes of awkward, teenager-like attempts Lena finally pulled away. "Let's just forget it." She said as she headed towards the bathroom.

"Where are you going?" Stef asked, wondering what had happened.

"For a cold shower." Lena said as she shut the bathroom door.

Stef waited a few minutes trying to figure out what had happened before following Lena into the bathroom.

"What just happened?" She said opening the shower stall a crack to poke her head inside. She got splashed a little from the shower spray and squealed. "Lena, that's freezing what are you doing?" She reached across and turned off the tap.

"Stef." Lena said exasperated. "We got one night alone in over a week and still all you can do is talk about the kids." Lena explained.

"I'm just worried." Stef said.

"I know you are honey but this can't be our whole life. Mike and the other kids are all with Callie and if she's going to do something then she would find a way to do it whether we were there or not. We have to just trust her at some point." Lena said.

But Stef didn't agree. "I can't just let her be responsible for her actions Lena." Stef said. "We are her parents, it's our job to protect her."

"We can't protect her forever Stef." Lena said.

"I can't believe you." Stef said getting annoyed now. "Callie is having such a hard time and the only thing you can think about is sex?"

Lena's face went hard at the statement. "That's not fair Stef." Lena said. "You know I worry about her but I also know that at some point we have to trust her to do the right thing as well."

"I know you..." Stef began but Lena cut her off.

"And as for sex..." Lena continued. "This is the first time I'm even suggested anything in over a week even thought it's been driving me crazy. We were given just a few hours to ourselves Stef and you couldn't just enjoy it."

With that she pulled the stall door shut again and turned the water back on, effectively ending the argument.


	12. Chapter 12

When Lena got back out from her shower Stef wasn't in the room anymore. Lena could hear the faint sounds from the TV downstairs but decided against going to join Stef. She was still too annoyed with her at the moment and the fact that Stef wasn't waiting outside for her proved that she was just as annoyed as well.

Lena lay in bed reading for another hour and Stef stayed downstairs not really watching some comedy that was playing. Her mind was torn between her argument with Lena and on how Callie might be doing. She was so angry with Lena right now. What kind of parents were they if they shoved their broken daughter out the door just so they could have sex. Right now all Stef wanted to do was save Callie from whatever it was that was eating away at her. She needed to make sure that Callie was safe and happy just like the rest of her kids and until that happened Stef couldn't concentrate on anything else.

* * *

Stef heard the car enter the driveway and immediately made her way to the door. She opened it and found the kids and Mike climbing out of the car and walking towards the house, all of them in a sombre mood and the tension that surrounded them was palpable. Brandon and the twins looked resigned, Jude looked like he'd been crying and the last to enter were Mike and Callie - the former holding on tightly to the latter. Callie looked like she wanted to be anywhere but here and Mike looked exhausted.

All the kids headed upstairs including Callie and Stef wanted to stop her but she first wanted to know what had happened. Lena had heard the kids come in and come out of her room but the looks on their faces concerned her just as much as they had Stef.

"Brandon, Mariana stay with Callie." Lena instructed as she headed downstairs to join Stef and Mike.

"What the hell happened?" She heard Stef ask as she entered the living room.

"She wouldn't eat." Mike answered.

"Why?" Lena asked.

"I don't know. She was fine while we were bowling, she was laughing and talking and then we headed over to get some pizza and hotdogs and she just refused to eat." Mike explained. "I tried to convince her but she snapped. She yelled and basically threw a fit. She tried to run off and Jesus caught her and Jude got so scared and started crying and people were staring at us. We just packed up and headed home."

"Did she go anywhere by herself at all?" Stef asked, worried that Callie might have hurt herself.

"No." Mike assured her. "She only tried once and Jesus was on top of her in a flash."

"I'm sorry Mike." Stef said. "We shouldn't have sent her with you like that. Not when we knew she was having such a hard time."

"I'm fine." Mike said. "I just didn't realize how bad things really were for her until today."

"Have you guys eaten?" Lena asked.

"The kids have." Mike answered. "They ate in the car. I'll get home and eat."

"You sure?" Stef asked. "I can get you something."

"No." Mike smiled sadly at her. "You got enough to worry about."

He got up to leave and Stef walked him out.

Lena stayed sitting in the kitchen, regretting her earlier outburst at Stef. Stef had been right after all, Callie wasn't ready for any of this.

Stef came back into the kitchen a few minutes later, her face grim and her expression hard.

"Stef..." Lena began, wanting to apologize to her for doubting her concerns.

But Stef was still too annoyed with Lena. "Still thinking about sex?" She asked bitterly as she walked up the stairs to get Callie.

* * *

Stef returned to the kitchen a few minutes later with a very silent, subdued Callie in tow.

"Alright Callie dinnertime." Stef said in a tone that didn't leave Callie with much to argue about. "You have a choice of the pot roast, squash or a sandwich. You have thirty seconds to pick."

Lena could tell that Stef was trying to stay calm. She was already upset by their argument and right now she wasn't in any mood to fight with a teenager. She decided to help.

"How about I make you a nice scrambled egg with cheese?" Lena suggested standing up.

"I'm not hungry." Callie said angrily. All she wanted was to just be left alone. She had had such a great evening but it was ruined by Mike. She thought she'd be able to just skip eating since neither Stef nor Lena would be there but Mike took over and insisted and she was so mad.

"I really don't care." Stef said flatly. "Make a choice or I'll do it for you."

"You can't force me to eat." Callie challenged.

"Don't underestimate me Callie." Stef said, beginning to get annoyed.

"How about just some yogurt?" Lena suggested, trying to defuse the situation.

"No Lena." Stef stopped her. "She doesn't get to eat just yogurt. The deal was that she had to eat a meal. If she wants our trust then she needs to earn it and this isn't earning it." She pointed to the way Callie was behaving.

Callie watched as Stef and Lena argued. At least the attention was off her for a while.

"Fine, I'll have a yogurt." Callie said, knowing that it would get the mom's to argue some more.

"Well that's not on the menu tonight." Stef told her flatly.

"Why not?" Callie asked. "Lena said I could."

She knew she was pitting one mom against the other but right now it was working in her favor because as soon as she said that Stef blew out a frustrated sigh. "Fine." She said in anger as she left the room leaving Callie alone with Lena.

Lena looked at Callie and saw the smirk on her face. They had played right into her game and she seemed pretty proud of herself with the results. Lena couldn't help but feel like she had helped Callie along by contradicting Stef. Stef really was just trying to get Callie to eat a proper meal and thinking back Lena realized that she hadn't had one of those in days. The amount she had been eating was less than an toddler.

Meanwhile Stef headed to her bathroom and washed her face with ice cold water before heading to check on the other kids. They had all looked so shaken up.

She found them all sitting with Jude in their room.

"Hey buddy." Stef said as Brandon moved over so she could take his spot.

"Why does she do that?" Jude asked in a tearful voice.

"Sweetheart she's having a hard time." Stef explained. "Don't worry. She will be okay. We'll make sure of it."

Jude didn't look convinced but he did look tired and so did all the other kids.

"Off to bed now babies." Stef said as she gave each one a kiss. "Don't worry about Callie. She'll fell better tomorrow."

* * *

But things weren't much better the next day either. When Lena finally came to bed they never said a word to each other and Lena made no comment each time Stef got up to check on Callie. Every sound had Stef on high alert and as a result she had barely slept a totally of three hours all night.

The following morning they were forced to do something that they were all regretting - Callie's first checkup. She had spent two nights unsupervised now and it really was long overdue.

Stef brought Callie into their room. Both women, though still not quite on the same page agreed that they needed to do this as a team. Neither of them knew what they'd find and they needed to work together.

"Okay Callie." Stef began as she lead Callie to their bed. "Let's just get this over with."

Callie looked miserable and her eyes darted around the room for a way out but she knew this was inevitable. She decided to just get this over with - at least she had nothing to hide or lose, apart from her dignity. She quickly stripped out of her clothes until she was only in her bra and underwear. She avoided looked at either of the moms as she knew their eyes were roaming her body.

"You can get dressed." Stef said after what seemed like an eternity.

Stef felt such relief when all she saw marking Callie's skin were the faint scars on her wrist and thigh from where she had hurt herself earlier. She wanted to hug Callie and tell her just how proud she was of her but guessed the girl wouldn't be too happy about that while she was half naked.

Callie quickly dressed and left the room not wanting to have to talk to them or even look at them. When she had agreed to do this at Sarah's office it hadn't seemed as embracing in theory as it ended up being in reality.

* * *

Stef and Lena discussed Callie's progress like they were discussing the war in Iraq.

"At least even with the way she's been acting she hasn't hurt herself." Lena said softly, hoping that her statement wouldn't upset Stef. Lately everything she said seemed to be doing just that.

Stef nodded. She couldn't even express how relieved she felt. She hadn't admitted it, even to herself, but she had been so worried about what they would find. She was preparing herself for the worst and really got a pleasant surprise. But her concern wasn't subsided too much - now that the check was over for a couple of days they had to make sure that Callie didn't do anything.

* * *

Through the day the whole family basically did their own thing. Brandon offered to help Callie study for the history quiz, which hopefully she would be able to take at the end of the week, since she had missed a lot of the chapter already. He figured that he'd keep Callie with him so that his mom's could get a break. The tension between them was obvious and no one liked it when their parents fought.

"So the Aztec civilization began around the fourteenth century." Brandon began. "It covered about half of modern Mexico." He showed her a map marking the area.

Callie listened as Brandon went on about the people and the culture of the Aztec civilization. Thought she wasn't really paying much attention to what he was saying she was grateful for the excuse to be away from Stef and Lena's gaze. She was still embarrassed and somewhat annoyed with their 'checkup' and the further she stayed from them the better.

Meanwhile back in the girls' room Mariana was organizing her jewelry when Jude walked into the room.

"Hey." Mariana smiled at him. "What's up?"

"Could you help me with ideas for my solar system project?" Jude asked her as he sat down on Callie's bed. It was the closest he could get to her these days.

"Sure." Mariana said smiling, glad to have something to help take his mind off his sister. "What do you have in mind?"

"Well, so far we have two refrigerator boxes and we know that the fair is gonna be held in the gym." Jude explained.

"And...?" Mariana waited for him to continue.

"That's it." Jude answered.

Mariana laughed. "Aren't you guys supposed to start work on it this evening?" She asked.

"Yeah." Jude said sheepishly. "But for today we're just gonna pitch some ideas."

"Well with two refrigerator boxes we can make it really big." Mariana said as her mind started to conjure up the perfect solar system model. "We'll paint the whole thing black and maybe spray splatter some glittery white across it to look like stars." Mariana said.

"That sounds cool" Jude said as he wrote down her ideas.

Mariana could just see the whole thing come to life so she carefully explained it to him in as much detail as she could.

"I would keep the smallest side open so that it will give the dark effect that we want." She said and drew a diagram for him where the box was lying on it's side all sides but the base of the box were closed.

"Then we can get some large styrofoam balls and paint them in neon colors so that they glow and for Saturn's rings we can use glow sticks." Mariana said with a smile. She was getting really excited about his project.

"Wow you're good." Jude said, loving her idea.

"For the moon we could use some silver paint and day-glow yellow and orange for the sun." Mariana continued. "And you can set up a cooler at the end away from the sun so that as you walk further away from the sun you get the feeling of the universe getting colder."

"That's great." Jude said. He was glad that he had such a great idea to share with Conner. "Thanks."

"No problem." Mariana smiled, glad to see him smiling again. "Let me know if I can help you build it when you're ready."

"I will." Jude said.

Mariana expected him to leave then but he just sat their looking down at his hands.

"Something else?" She asked gently.

"What's wrong with Callie?" He asked slowing, not looking up. He wanted the truth and he knew that neither of his mom's would give him that.

Mariana thought for a minute before answering. She knew he was asking her because he wanted the truth and she really wanted to give it to him but she didn't want to scare him and she definitely didn't want her moms to be mad at her for telling him. But at the same time she knew he deserved the truth - she had seen how worried he was about her and if it were her she was sure she'd rather know.

"She hurt herself." Mariana said.

"Hurt herself?" Jude asked confused. The thought of someone actually inflicting pain on themselves was above his head.

"She used a knife to cut herself." Mariana explained.

She watched as Jude's eyes went wide as he finally understood. This was definitely not what he expected. He thought that maybe she was sick or hurt - but not that she was hurting herself.

"Why?" He asked in complete shock.

"I think she was hurting inside and needed a way to get it out." Mariana said, not really sure of the answer herself.

"But that doesn't make any sense." Jude said.

"Not to us but I guess it does to her." Mariana said.

"That's why she's been sleeping in moms' room?" Jude asked and Mariana nodded.

"They needed to make sure she didn't do it again." She said.

"Where did she do it?" Jude asked her.

"Her wrist and thigh." Mariana said.

"So the bandage she had two months ago wasn't because of cooking?" Jude asked.

Mariana shook her head. "She cut herself." She confirmed.

"Oh." Jude said, still not fully grasping the situation but trying to make sense of it.

"And she's not eating." He said.

"No." Mariana said. "She's been skipping meals."

Jude looked like he was about to cry so she went over to him and wrapped an arm around him. "But mom's are really trying to help her." She assured him. "They won't let anything happen to her."

"Why can't she just be normal?" Jude asked miserably. It hadn't been so hard for him to adjust in this house so why couldn't she as well.

"I don't know." Mariana said honestly. As she thought back to her own childhood she realized that in one way or another they had all had to deal with their insecurities. "We all had our own way of adjusting." She explained. "I never spoke to anyone besides Jesus and he would fight with everyone all the time. Remember how you stuck to Callie in the beginning? You wouldn't leave her side. Even Brandon had trouble adjusting when Stef and Mike split up. Callie is just dealing with this in her own way."

"But we never hurt ourselves." Jude said. Everything the rest of them did was to protect themselves but Callie seemed to be doing the opposite. He couldn't understand that even just releasing some blood from her system helped Callie cope with her feelings.

"You should really talk to moms about this." Mariana said. She wasn't sure what to tell him because she didn't know the whole truth herself nor did she know how much he could handle.

"No, it's okay." Jude said. He wasn't ready to face them yet. He didn't want to find out what they really thought of Callie and whether or not they were regretting keeping her.

Jude picked up his notebook and the drawing that Mariana had made for him and walked out the door. "Thanks" He said as he left and Mariana knew that it was more for her honest answers than for her help with his project.


	13. Chapter 13

By early evening Brandon left for Matts house and Lena went to drop Jesus at the beach and Jude at Conner's. This left Stef alone with the girls. She didn't know what to do. I was almost dinner time but none of the boys were gonna be there. Lena had told her that Callie had only eaten half a tub of strawberry yogurt the night before and the balance for breakfast this morning, her lunch hadn't been much more. Stef was starting to worry, Callie was loosing weight and her clothes were starting to look too big on her, she was pale and tired easily and Stef had noticed her stop for a moment each time she stood up indicating that she was blacking out frequently. She knew that she needed to discuss these things with Lena and they needed to make a decision but she was so afraid that Lena would downplay the seriousness like she'd been doing all this time.

Stef was leaving the kids' laundry on their beds and she left the girls' for last. She knocked before entering their room to find them both sitting on Callie's bed. Mariana was quizzing her on everything Brandon had taught her. Callie was determined to do well through all this because apart from everything else she couldn't bare to be left behind. She was desperate to go back to school and just be normal again.

Stef watched the two for a moment as she placed both sets of clothes on Mariana's bed. They seemed like they had bonded - both of them working together. Suddenly Stef thought that maybe she could use that to help her. She had dismissed the idea of using Jude, but maybe getting help from Mariana wouldn't be such a bad thing.

"Honey I think I left your dress on my bed wanna come with me and get it?" Stef asked Mariana.

"Sure." Mariana said as she got up. "Be right back Callie.

The moment they entered the master bedroom Mariana turned curiously to Stef - the bed was empty.

Stef smiled at her. "I need a favor."

Mariana looked skeptical. Somehow she knew it had something to do with Callie.

"How can I help?" She asked cautiously.

"Take her downstairs and get her to eat something." Stef said. "Maybe with just the two of you it won't be so hard for her."

Mariana could hear the desperation in Stef's voice even though Stef was trying to hide it. She realized that this was getting more serious than she had thought, Stef rarely got this anxious and the last time had been when she had informed her that Jesus might have been with Ana at her house. Was Callie really in that much danger? She wondered.

"I'll do my best." Mariana said and Stef gave her a grateful smile.

* * *

When Mariana reentered her room empty handed Callie questioned her.

"Where's the dress?" She asked.

"Um..." Mariana was silent for a little too long trying to come up with an excuse.

"What?" Callie asked, knowing that there was no dress.

"I'm hungry." Mariana said hoping to change the subject and get Callie to go downstairs with her.

Callie looked away from Mariana. She got it - Stef had asked Mariana to get her to eat. 'Great, now one more person was gonna be after her' she though.

Mariana caught Callie's look and went to sit by her. "They're really worried you know." She said softly. "Mom's not usually this panicked about anything."

Callie felt a little guilty at Mariana's statement. As much as she wanted these reactions from her mom's she still felt bad about it.

"We all are." Mariana added. "Even Jude." She hoped that Callie would help them out for him at least.

It worked because at the mention of his name Callie's head snapped up. "What did he say?" She asked worriedly.

"He just wanted to know what was going on with you." Mariana said.

"And what did you say?" Callie asked.

"Just that you weren't feeling well." Mariana lied. She didn't want to upset Callie even further and have her stop eating completely.

Callie relaxed at her answer. She didn't know how she could handle things if Jude know what she'd been up to. Everything she'd ever done her entire life had been to protect him and even when she'd failed she'd still tried and she'd be damned if she stopped now.

"Look it's just you and me right now okay." Mariana encouraged softly. "Mom isn't coming with us so you don't have to worry. Let's just go downstairs and eat something, anything you want." She said. "But you gotta eat something." She added, a little desperation evident in her voice.

"Fine." Callie resigned. If she had to do this maybe it would be easier to do it with Mariana rather than anyone else.

The two headed downstairs to the kitchen and Mariana pulled out the makings of a ham and cheese sandwich. She quickly made two and poured two glasses of orange juice.

"One for you and one for me." She smiled as she set one plate and glass in front of Callie and the other in front of herself.

* * *

Stef had seen the girls head downstairs and waited five minutes before she peaked her head into the kitchen and saw both girls at the table, sandwiches in hand. She smiled to herself in relief - at least today Callie ate something substantial.

Stef was sitting on the steps out of sight but not out of earshot listening to her girls talk about nothing in particular when she heard the front door open - Lena was home.

Lena opened the door and saw Stef sitting halfway up the stairs, a grin on her face.

"What are you smiling about?" She asked. Not that she wasn't glad to see it. She had missed it in the last twenty-four hours.

Stef motioned for Lena to be quiet and lead them both to the living room where they peaked in on the girls. Both their sandwiches were considerably smaller and Stef felt Lena relax by her side just as she had a few moments ago.

* * *

The two headed upstairs quietly. Both with large grins on their faces.

"She's eating." Lena exclaimed.

"Mariana's a miracle worker." Stef said as she plopped down on the bed, her body more relaxed than Lena had seen in days.

Lena sat down next to her wife, closer than she normally would. She needed to feel Stef close and unlike the last time, this time it was purely platonic - she just needed Stef to stop being mad at her. They rarely fought and even more rarely let it go on for so long. It's not that they didn't have their differences in opinion on a regular basis but they were usually able to listen to each other and consider each point of view before coming up with a compromise. But this time, apart from the difference of opinion there was also the stress and tension that had both of them on edge.

Lena leaned in further when she finally felt Stef's arm wrap around her shoulder. This is all she wanted and she felt like she could stay this way forever - curled up next to the love of her life.

* * *

Dinner that night had been an easy affair with only the four girls in the house and the fact that Callie had already eaten an entire sandwich. Stef just gave her a tub of yogurt and left her with no instructions. After dinner the girls headed upstairs and Stef and Lena went to call Sarah.

Callie waited anxiously for her verdict on whether or not she could resume school. It was all she could think about even though Mariana was trying to distract her by talking about clothes - not really something that would help though.

Jesus and Jude turned up before Stef got off the phone and all the noise and bustle of their arrival did help distract her a little.

"Hey bud." Callie said as Jude headed upstairs. "How was Conner's?" She asked.

"Fine." Jude shrugged and headed into his room.

Callie instantly knew that something was wrong. "Hey," She entered his room with Mariana close behind. "Did something happen with Connor?"

"Yeah." Jude said, taking the excuse she was offering him. The truth was that he was mad at her.

"What happened?" Callie enquired.

"Nothing." Jude said.

Mariana could see the hurt in Jude's eyes and so she helped him out a little.

"Did you guys finally agree on an idea?" She asked, more a suggestion than a question.

"Yeah." Jude took the offer. "Conner thought my idea wasn't good."

Callie took the explanation easily. She had no reason to believe anything else and really she was still too focused on Stef's conversation with Sarah. "Don't worry about it baby." She said kindly. "You'll figure it out."

* * *

Ten minutes later Stef and Lena walked into the girl's room and Mariana took that as a sign that she needed to find something else to do.

"I'll be downstairs." She said as she hurried out of the room.

The moms waited for her to go before turning their attention to a rather impatient Callie.

"So?" Callie asked.

"So..." Stef began. "You can go to school." She said and Callie smiled - an actual, genuine smile.

"But..." Stef added and watched that gorgeous smile fade slightly. "There are going to be some ground rules."

"O-kay." Callie said cautiously, not really sure what was to come.

"You go from one class to the next with no exceptions. Your teachers will be keeping tabs on you which means no bathroom brakes or hall passes and you need to check in with Lena during recess and lunch and right after school." Stef listed.

"Okay." Callie answered. It didn't seem so bad.

"There's one more thing." Stef said. "the checks are going to be done daily."

All three of them knew that this wasn't exactly something that Callie would just accept.

"No." Callie said miserably. "I promise I won't do anything."

Stef thought for a moment about how to answer but Lena came up with one first.

"Honey, we know that you are trying, we can see it but we also know how hard it is to stay strong sometimes. It's not that we don't trust you but we also want to make sure that you are safe and if us checking you helps you even in the slightest way to say 'no' when that feeling creeps back then that's what we're going to do."

Stef was pretty impressed with Lena's answer. She always knew what to say to troubled teenagers and Stef admired her for it.

"Fine." Callie resigned, knowing that there was no way she'd get out of this one.

"We also have your next appointment at five tomorrow so after dropping the others home and washing up after school we need to head out again.

* * *

The next morning Callie woke up early. She hadn't really slept much to begin with and heard Stef come into the room several times but pretended to be asleep each time. The truth was that she was a little nervous about going to school. She was already the freaky foster kid from juvie and now she wasn't sure what the kids at school thought about her absence and having the teachers babying her all day would definitely not help matters. But at least this was another step towards freedom - and that's what Callie wanted most.

Stef hardly slept either and checked up on Callie several times. She had a feeling that Callie wasn't sleeping well either but as long as she was safe she'd give her the space she wanted.

The whole family was dressed and ready to leave by a quarter to eight. Lena and the kids were heading to school and Stef was going back to work. She'd be working the eight to four shift so that she'd be home when Lena got home with the kids. She was so thankful that her job gave her the freedom to swap shifts pretty easily.

Right before they all headed out for the day Stef and Lena pulled Callie aside.

"I know, I know." Callie said as Stef lead her into the living room. "Don't go anywhere alone and check in with Lena." Callie had heard it already.

"Yes." Stef said. "But that's not what we were going to say. We wanted to remind you that we love you very much and if you need anything at all you just need to call me or mama. Don't be afraid, we're here for you."

Callie was a little taken aback by Stef's words. She was expecting a lecture but instead she was reminded that she was loved and had people to help her. The words made her feel both happy and sad at the same time - she finally had people in her corner, something she'd wanted for years but now that she had them she wasn't sure how to accept them. She wondered if she'd ever get over this struggle. When would it end? When she got better? When she finally got adopted? Would there ever be an end?

Callie gave Stef a nod to say that she understood before heading out to the car with everyone else to start a day that could be one of the best in a while or just as easily be the worst.


	14. Chapter 14

Lena headed into her office and as Callie's teachers walked by she spoke with each of them to remind them that Callie was back and that they needed to keep a check on her. Every one of them promised that they wouldn't let her out of their sight. She was so thankful to be surrounded by people who truly cared about the kids as much as she did. Yes, Callie was her own daughter but she'd do this for any kid in her school and she knew that the teacher would too.

But as the morning passed and Lena checked on Callie a few times by passing her classes she found her thoughts drifting instead to Stef. Though they had had a moment the night before and several conversation about the kids and the plans for the day, they weren't quite in the place she wanted them to be yet and her thoughts drifted to the last time they had a fight and Stef went out on a job. She couldn't get the image of Stef, lying in a hospital bed covered in blood with a tube sticking out of the throat, out of her mind and suddenly she regretted not giving her a kiss before she left. With her job you never knew what would happen. How could she just let her go into that without making up. Eventually the thoughts got too much for Lena and she decided to call Stef.

"Is everything okay?" Stef asked as she picked up.

Lena sighed. Stef's thoughts were only on Callie.

"Yes." Lena answered her. "She came in during break and has gone from class to class with no issues. She'll be by in an hour again for lunch."

"Oh good." Stef said. "Thanks for letting me know."

It kind of hurt Lena that that's the only reason Stef wanted to hear from her. Lately nothing but the kids seemed to cross Stef's mind at all. Just a week ago the two still seemed like newly weds, hugging and kissing and whispering, even thought they had been together for over ten years but in the last week they were more like two strangers doing their jobs. Stef and Lena hadn't talked about the baby or anything else in so long that Lena was starting to worry.

"Honey can we talk." Lena said softly. She needed Stef to know how she felt.

"About what?" Stef asked.

"Us." Lena said. "I hate this place that we're in."

Stef sighed. She hated it too but lately she didn't know what to do. She felt like she was losing control and she hated it. She was supposed to protect her family but she was failing miserably at it. She wasn't being a good mother to her kids and she wasn't being a good wife to Lena. Failure never sat well with Stef and she tended to get overworked and angry when that happened.

Before Stef could reply Lena heard some commotion over the phone - obviously something had happened and all units were being called out.

"Honey I gotta go." Stef said hurriedly and hung up before Lena could stop her.

'She didn't even say bye.' Lena thought to herself. 'She usually ends a call with 'bye, I love you.' Tears filled Lena's eyes as she began to worry about where Stef was going and what kind of situation she was heading into. She hoped that Stef would be safe. Thought she knew that Stef was usually a rational person, especially at work, she was over stressed lately and Lena worried that her judgement was off. She couldn't wait to hear back from Stef but until then she'd just have to get through the day and wait to see her in another few hours.

* * *

Callie on the other hand, started out her day quite pleasantly. She found that she hadn't missed too much since Brandon had brought her work back all week and Wyatt was going a great job of distracting her that she was actually enjoying herself.

She went from one class to the next quickly and Wyatt walked with her even when they had to go different ways and her first check with Lena had gone smoothly. Luckily for her Lena wasn't 'checking' her and apart from that she seemed pretty distracted so when she saw Callie smiling and Wyatt with her she let Callie go.

But things began to go downhill slowly. She began to realize that all the kids were watching her and whispering and the fact that the teacher's constantly reminded her to head straight to her next class didn't help at all.

"They think you went back to juvie." Wyatt explained when he saw Callie glance around her.

"What? Why?" Callie asked shocked. She assumed that they thought she was sick or something.

"They generally assume the worst of people." Wyatt replied.

"Great." Callie mumbled.

"So... why were you out?" Wyatt asked. "Brandon told me that you weren't doing so good and that you had to stay with your moms. What does that mean?"

Callie looked at Wyatt. If anyone would understand her life it would be him but she worried that this would be too much even for him to understand.

"Um. I guess I was kind of depressed because I couldn't get adopted and so they stayed home with me for a week until I felt better." She told him, not really lying but not telling him the whole truth either.

"Right." Wyatt said, knowing she was keeping the important stuff out.

What Callie liked most about Wyatt was that he let things go. He could see that she didn't want to talk about it so he didn't pry.

"So lunch?" He asked.

"Um, I'm not that hungry and I gotta go see Lena first but I'll come sit with you." Callie offered. At least one good thing was that no one would hound her about lunch anymore. All she had to worry about was breakfast and dinner.

* * *

But she was wrong because less than five minutes after they walked into the house Stef confronted her about it.

"How was lunch?" Stef asked in a tone that Callie knew meant that she already knew the truth.

"Um..." Callie began, shocked that somehow her mom's had found out.

"What? Did you not think we'd get to know?" Stef questioned.

Callie didn't know what to say. She was angry that the one place she thought she'd get some freedom become just another prison for her. But she was also scared that she'd be made to stay home again. She had to leave for her appointment in less than ten minutes and she worried that Sarah would say that she wasn't ready for this step.

"Sweetheart why didn't you eat?" Lena asked. "You promised that you'd eat something for each meal."

When Lena found out after lunch break that Callie hadn't eaten from her assistant she began to feel guilty. She had been so focused on Stef and what she was called into that she hadn't checked on Callie like she had originally planned. But this minor setback gave her the perfect excuse to check up on Stef.

"Apparently she didn't eat." Lena said when Stef picked up the phone.

Lena heard Stef sigh over the phone.

"Where are you?" Lena asked, hoping to get some information out of her.

"Back at the station." Stef answered. "Paperwork."

"Oh, okay." Lena said, trying to hide the relief out of her voice. She knew Stef hated being behind her desk at all and would much rather be out patrolling the neighborhood but Lena longed for the times when Stef was forced to do just that.

"I'll see you at home and we'll deal with her then." Stef said.

"Okay. Bye honey." Lena said.

"Bye." Stef said and hung up. Once again there was no 'love you'.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later the three of them were driving to the doctor's. None of them saying anything and the tension was building. Lena was still feeling disconnected from Stef and Stef swung between feeling angry with Callie and worried about her. Callie was just worried and scared.

"Callie if this doesn't stop we're going to have to try something new." Stef said softly. She wasn't trying to frighten Callie but she wanted her to know just how serious this was getting.

Callie didn't say anything but when Stef looked back at her in the rear-view mirror she saw tears in the girl's eyes. Stef and Lena shared a look before Stef pulled over to the side of the road and Lena quickly hopped out and got in the back with Callie. She sat in the middle seat and buckled up as Stef continued to drive.

Stef watched as Lena maneuvered Callie into a position where she could hold her though the teen wasn't making it easy.

"Honey, we aren't trying to scare you and we are not going to abandon you but if it does come to that we will do whatever we have to to get you the help you need." Lena said softly to Callie.

* * *

Through the first half of Callie's session they talked about the progress that Callie was making and all the hurdles and setbacks she had had.

"So Callie why did you skip lunch today?" Sarah asked her.

"I just wasn't hungry." Callie answered.

"We talked about this last time remember." Sarah reminded her. "You promised to eat just a little even when you weren't hungry."

"I forgot." Callie said, making things as difficult as she could.

"She tries to skip as many meals as she can." Stef said, giving Callie a warning glare.

"When was her last proper meal?" Sarah asked.

"Well she ate a whole sandwich yesterday." Stef said. "But it wasn't large by any means and I can't really think of anything else I would call a proper meal."

"Sometimes when we can't get her to cooperate we manage to get her some yogurt." Lena added.

Sarah noticed the tension in Stef's face when Lena mentioned this. She knew that something was wrong and she guessed that all this was taking a toll on both women and their relationship.

"Callie, could you wait outside for a bit?" Sarah asked. "I'd like to talk to your mom's."

Callie looked worriedly at Sarah. She hated it when they spoke about her and she wasn't there. She never knew what was being said.

"Don't worry honey. Everything will be fine." Stef encouraged her.

* * *

"Are you two okay?" Sarah asked once the door closed behind Callie.

"We're fine." Stef said, not expecting the conversation to take this turn.

Lena's face fell at Stef's answer. They were definitely not fine and they needed some help. Her expression didn't go unnoticed by Sarah.

"What about you Lena?" She asked. "How do you feel?"

"Well..." Lena began, knowing that Stef wouldn't appreciate the diversion from the topic at had.

"Look I know that it's hard to watch someone you love go through this much pain." Sarah explained. "And I know that it can affect the other areas of your lives as well but you guys need to be honest with each other if you want this to work."

Stef looked at Sarah not liking this at all. They weren't here to talk about them, they were there to talk about Callie and how to help her. And if Stef was honest with herself she would admit that she wasn't ready to deal with her own emotions and insecurities yet. She needed to keep them in check so that she could be there for Callie.

Lena, on the other hand needed to work things out with Stef. She was so worried about where they were headed and the last thing she wanted was for this to cause a rift between them. She knew how passionate Stef was about helping people, especially her family, and that she would never intentionally hurt any of them but Lena couldn't help but feel like Stef was no longer around for her anymore.

"Lena why don't you start." Sarah said, knowing that she had something she wanted to say. "I need you two to be honest with each other no matter how difficult that may be. We'll work through whatever issues that come up and we'll get everything sorted. But I need you to be honest for that."


	15. Chapter 15

But Lena didn't know what to say. She didn't want to hurt Stef or make her angry and she knew that anything she said would do just that. So instead she looked away from both Stef and the Doctor and remained silent.

"People have different opinions." Sarah said when Lena remained silent. "Even people who love each other may not always believe in the same things. That's okay. But what's not okay is hiding your own feelings because you're worried about what might happen."

Lena listened to Sarah's words and began to feel like one of the teenagers that were sent to her office on a regular basis. This is what it felt like to have someone with authority tell you what's right and what you should do. She knew that she couldn't do things this way. Sarah was right - she and Stef needed to sort this out so that they could help Callie.

"You're just never there anymore." Lena finally said.

"What are you talking about?" Stef asked. "I've been there all week."

"But all you can think about is Callie." Lena said.

"I need to keep an eye on her, love." Stef said and Lena smiled - finally there was something coming back.

"I just wish that everything didn't have to be a fight." Lena whispered.

Stef turned to Lena with fire in her eyes. "You think that's all I do?" She asked angrily.

"I just think that if you tried to talk things through instead of just dictating orders to everyone things might be easier." Lena said softly.

"Because 'talking' has done so much good right?" Stef shot back. "What happened the last time I left you to talk to Callie about eating?" Stef asked Lena.

But Lena didn't answer.

"All she ate was half a tub of yogurt." Stef answered her own question. "And the last time I did it my way she ate five strips of chicken and her carrots and the time before that she ate almost a whole french toast. Which way seems to work better Lena?"

"I just want her to feel like she has a choice." Lena defended herself.

"You think I like begin the bad guy?" Stef asked her more softly. "You think I don't want to give her a choice? But for her the choices are eat or don't eat and that's not something I can live with. I need her to eat and if forcing her to do that is the only way then that's what I'll do."

Sarah listened to the conversation without interrupting. Though the two were arguing, they were at least being honest with each other and that was the only way they were going to get through this. She understood where each one was coming from and how their choice of action reflected their personality.

"I wish you would help me Lena." Stef continued. "But you don't ever discipline so I have to and because of that I'm always the bad guy. With you everything is always about talking and sharing but the problem with that is that Callie isn't talking or sharing so it's not working. She can't just live on yoghurt Lena, with the amount she's been eating she may as well not eat at all. And every time I try to get her to actually eat a meal you swoop in and give her an out. Then she uses that to put us against each other."

Lena's eyes filled with tears now and Stef sighed.

"Great." Stef mumbled. "Once again I'm the bad guy."

She was angry with Lena for putting her in this position and she was angry with Callie for making things this difficult and leading everyone into this mess. But most of all she was angry with herself because she couldn't protect her own family. They were falling apart right in front of her and no matter how hard she tried she couldn't seem to fix it.

"You're not the bad guy Stef." Lena said, wiping her tears away. "Don't you see that? Don't you see the way she looks at you?"

Stef's expression relaxed a little. She knew that when Callie was really having a hard time just a hug from Stef could help calm her. But the problem was that it didn't always work. Sometimes Callie seemed to want nothing to do with her and she didn't know how to fix anything.

"You guys did great." Sarah interrupted at this point. The two women had made a start and although they had just about scratched the surface she knew that they could continue this without her. "I want you to really continue this conversation before our next session but for now we only have ten minutes left so let's get back to Callie." Sarah buzzed Grace to send Callie back in.

Callie entered the room once again and sat down in her usual spot between her moms.

"So Callie." Sarah began when Callie was seated. "Your moms have told me that you've made quite a bit of progress."

Callie raised her eyebrows at the statement. "Progress?" She asked, not really believing it.

"Yes." Sarah confirmed. "You were still here when they mentioned that you had successfully slept two nights without them and you even managed to eat when you didn't want to and you made it thought school today and although there were some minor setbacks it was still a success."

Callie looked at the doctor waiting for her to continue.

"I was never expecting this to all happen overnight." Sarah explained. "Even when we made the plan last week I knew you wouldn't be keeping to it everyday. These things take time and sometimes it seems like it's more effort than its worth but trust me once you get over the hard part the rest is a piece of cake."

"What's the hard part?" Callie asked.

"Honesty." Sarah said gently, knowing it wasn't what Callie wanted to hear. "Your moms had to deal with some of that today and my suggestion would be to be honest with them about some of the things we talked about last week. It's going to be hard, I don't disagree with you, but it's important and it's the biggest hurdle you will have to overcome."

Callie nodded even though she wasn't looking forward to this at all. She had never been one for sharing, not that there had ever been anyone to listen before anyways. But she would try at least. Even if it was just once sentence she would try.

"Good." Sarah smiled. "As for the rest, take it slow but there still has to be progress remember. And don't try to get your moms to fight just to get what you want."

Callie looked guiltily up at Sarah before she felt Stef's arm wrap around her pulling her into a hug as Lena's hand covered her own and squeezed. These people were trying so hard for her and all she was doing was ruining it for herself as well as for them. Why did she always have to be such a screwup? What was wrong with her?

"So you all have some homework for next week." Sarah said as she wrapped up the session. "You all need to be honest with each other and even if you don't come to any conclusions or find any solutions you need to just lay it bare."

* * *

When they got home Lena set to work on dinner while the kids went to get their homework done and Stef went to take a shower. She had planned to do that before heading to the therapist's but Callie's skipped lunch put a hold to those plans. As she let the hot water soak through her hair and relax her body Stef kept thinking about what was going on with Lena. She knew that Lena was right and that she hadn't been the same lately but honestly she couldn't think about things like sex and intimacy when her daughter was falling apart right in front of them. But Stef did miss Lena, the real Lena and she understood that Lena missed her too. They hardly ever had arguments that lasted this long and it scared her. She didn't want this to get between them. Sarah had mentioned that couples often when through major problems when something went wrong with their children and Stef was determined not to let that happen to them.

She quickly finished her shower, got dressed and headed downstairs to the kitchen. She hoped that none of the kids would be down their with her and was glad to find only Lena standing at the stove stirring a pot of beef stew. Stef walked up behind her and turned the flame down while wrapping her arms around her and pulling her close. Lena leaned into the hug and when Stef kissed her cheek she realized that Lena had been crying.

"I love you." Stef said softly into her ear.

Lena smiled when she heard the words she'd been waiting all week to hear. "I love you too." She whispered back.

"I'm sorry honey." Stef said.

"Me too." Lena said as she turned, still encircled in Stef's arms.

"I didn't mean to shut you out." Stef began but Lena stopped her.

"We'll do this after dinner okay." Lena said as she leaned into Stef and wrapped her own arms around her wife. "The kid's will be down soon and I don't want to start something we can't finish."

Stef looked into Lena's eyes for a moment trying to figure out if Lena was still angry or not.

Lena smiled at her. "We'll be fine, I promise." She said as she kissed Stef on the mouth. She held onto Stef tighter when she felt her kissing back. Her whole body tingled with desire. This was all she needed - to be wrapped up in the safety of Stef's arms and have her kissing her.

"Gross." Jesus interrupted the moment as Callie and the twins came downstairs. "Get a room."

Stef groaned as she pulled away from her wife. "Why did we ever decide to have kids?" She joked and Lena laughed along with Jesus and Mariana. But Callie looked uncomfortable at the statement.

Stef went over to her, guiding her further into the room and to the table. She took a seat next to Callie. "We wouldn't trade you for the world." She whispered.

Soon the other two boys came downstairs and dinner started. It wasn't exactly a quiet affair, there were after all seven people at the table, but it was more quiet than it usually was. Stef gave Callie a bowl of stew and only one piece of bread, if Callie was going to eat only a little she'd rather it was the stew. She was relieved to see that Callie ate it without any fuss though. She wasn't really prepared for a battle tonight. Her mind kept wandering to Lena and their impending conversation.

* * *

Finally, two hours later, all the kids' homework was done, they were fed and now getting ready for bed. Stef said goodnight to each of them before heading into her own room to Lena who was now dressed in her pajamas, freeing their bed of the numerous throw pillows that she insisted on having.

Stef walked purposefully over to Lena and planted a passionate kiss on her lips taking her off guard.

"I love you." Stef said firmly, when she finally released Lena. "I need you to know that before we start this."

Lena smiled. "I love you too." She said.

Stef sat them both down on the bed and sighed, trying to figure out a way to start this conversation. "I'm sorry that I don't know how to just let it go." She said. "I see so many kids in trouble all the time and I can't save them. I'm so scared that I won't be able to save my own daughter." She admitted.

"You aren't alone Stef." Lena said gently. "It's not all on you. Let me in and let me help. We've talked about this before."

"I know." Stef said, "I just worry."

"I know you do honey and I love you for that." Lena said. "You always want to take care of everyone and you love us all so much but you can't let that be your whole life."

"How can you say that Lena?" Stef asked. "You _are _my whole life and losing any one of you would kill me."

"We aren't losing anyone Stef." Lena promised. "Callie is getting better. I agree it's not as quick as we'd like but if you look closely it's happening."

Stef nodded, realizing that Lena's words were true.

"I'm sorry you feel like I don't support you." Lena said. "I know that even when you're mad at her, or any of us, it's because you love us and you want us safe. I just don't want her to feel like we're ganging up on her or that she needs to be afraid of us."

"I don't like yelling at her either." Stef said as tears filled her own eyes. "Sometimes she's willing to do whatever we tell her but more often than not she's fighting us and being firm with her seems to be the only way to get things done." Stef admitted.

"I know," Lena said. "I see that too."

"I'm so worried about what's going to happen to her. If we can't fix this by ourselves then we may have to send her somewhere to help her and she's not going to take that well. She'll think that we're abandoning her and that's not going to help her at all." Stef was openly crying now. "If we can't fix this at home there's no way it's going to get fixed anywhere else."

"We aren't sending her anywhere." Lena said.

"But what if it comes to that?" Stef asked. "What if she hurts herself so bad or she stops eating completely."

Lena thought for a moment. She had no answer to that question. Even Sarah had casually mentioned that it might become a possibility if Callie doesn't improve. But she realized that Sarah had been right, they didn't necessarily need a solution right away - all they needed was communication and that went for Callie too.

"You need to talk to her." Lena said.

"To who?" Stef asked.

"Callie." Lena said.

"I've tried Lena." Stef said tiredly. "I've tried talking and being nice and hugging her and kissing her. But sometimes none of that works."

"But you're not being honest with her." Lena pointed out.

"What?" Stef asked confused.

"Does she have any idea how you feel?" Lena questioned. "Does she know how scared you are that you might not be able to help her. Does she know how much you want to help her? How hurt you get when she won't let you."

"How can I put all that on her?" Stef asked. "She's broken enough as it is."

"No Stef." Lena disagreed. "You're just too proud to let it show. You're doing the very same thing that she does. You feel weak and so you convert it into anger to hide your true feelings."

"That's not what I'm doing." Stef denied the accusation.

"Yes it is." Lena said softly, knowing that it was hard for Stef to hear. "And if you don't let it show then how is she supposed to learn how to open up herself? How is she going to learn that she can trust us?"

"Well why don't you show her?" Stef asked, raising an eyebrow. "You're good at the talking stuff."

"I can't." Lena said sadly. "It has to be you."

"Why?" Stef questioned.

Lena smiled at Stef - sometimes Stef was blind to the most obvious things. "Because she needs you to do it." She said.

"Why me?" Stef asked, still confused.

"Because she's you." Lena answered. "Or at least she's trying to be. You're both so tough and you both have these hard shells that you don't let anyone break. You take on problems that aren't yours to bare and even when they are you refuse to let anyone in to help. You both hate showing any signs of weakness or failure and as a result you push people away when that happens."

Lena took Stef's hands in her own and turned them both so that they were facing each other.

"She needs to see you do it so that she can learn that she can do it as well. But first you need to learn to do it yourself." Lena finished.

Stef looked at Lena, a grim expression on her face. She didn't want to do any of that. She wanted to stay strong for her family and be the protector. She couldn't let her sixteen year old daughter help her figure out how to sort out this mess. That was her job. But Lena was right about everything else - Stef and Callie were a lot alike and she couldn't stop the smile spread across her face at the thought.

"She's your daughter Stef." Lena continued when she saw Stef's smile. "And you need to do whatever you have to to help her, no matter how hard it is."

Stef nodded, knowing that Lena was right.

"But you also need to remember that you aren't alone honey." Lena said. "I'm here and I'm not gonna break. I love you and Callie as well and there's nothing that I wouldn't do to help you too. Sometimes you have to let me take care of you. You need to let me in just like you want Callie to let you in."

Stef's tears started falling again as she pulled Lena into a tight hug. "I love you so much Lena." She said with so much emotion that her voice was breaking. "I'm so sorry that I got mad at you and shut you out."

"I know babe." Lena hugged Stef back, holding her as her body shook with emotion. "It's okay. We're fine now."

Stef pulled away from Lena as she got control of herself again. She wiped away her tears and then reached out and placed a hand on Lena's stomach. "I've missed so much lately." She whispered as she stroked Lena's stomach, where their baby was browning.

Lena placed her own hand over Stef's and squeezed. "No you haven't." She assured Stef.

Stef leaned in and kissed Lena. All the stress and tension of the past few weeks leaving her body as she let her desire take over. Just having this conversation helped and she realized that she missed her wife just as much as Lena had admitted missing her just two nights ago.

Finally Lena got what she'd been craving for a week now and after a few more hours of making up both of them lay relaxed in each other's arms, knowing that things would work out as long as they had each other - and they both knew that they definitely had each other.


	16. Chapter 16

Tuesday's breakfast didn't go as well as dinner on Monday night. Callie ate half an apple and refused to eat anything more. Lena stepped up and tried to convince Callie to eat something more but Stef laid back. She didn't want to push a wedge between herself and Callie. They had decided that Stef would pick Callie up from school after lunch and bring her back home so that the two could have the house to themselves for a few hours to talk. It was going to be hard enough for both of them to be this honest and it would be a lot easier without any audience or interruptions.

Callie didn't know about this plan yet. They weren't sure how she'd take to it and they didn't want to upset breakfast. Stef hated that they were tiptoeing around her and letting her behavior dictate how they treated her but she hoped that after today things would begin to calm down. They had first discussed keeping Callie home right from the morning but Stef needed to head into work for about an hour to file a report and then she would use the rest of the time before lunch to figure out what she was going to say.

Stef turned her attention back to Callie and found Lena trying to convince her to eat her yogurt at least. Callie remained stubborn and soon Lena was sending all the kids off to get their stuff to leave for school.

"Callie could you wait here a moment." Stef said as the other kids headed out.

Callie hung back, afraid that they were going to force her to eat something.

"You're coming with us to school today." Lena said. "But mom's going to pick you up at lunch and bring you back home."

"Why?" Callie asked, she didn't want to be left alone with Stef - Stef always had a way of knowing what she was trying to hide.

"We need to talk." Stef answered her. "Figure some things out, and it would be better if we were alone."

Callie's fears were coming true. They were either going to dig though all her feelings until Stef got the answers she wanted or else they were ready to get rid of her. Callie was afraid either way because deep down she knew that even if it was just the former, it would still probably lead to the latter.

* * *

Before Lena and the kids left she pulled Stef aside and gave her a long, lingering kiss.

"What was that for?" Stef laughed. "Not that I'm complaining."

Lena smiled back but the smile didn't reach her eyes. "Yesterday you went back to work and we were still angry with each other. The last time that happened you got shot and I nearly lost you."

Stef pulled Lena close. "I'm fine honey." She assured her.

"I know." Lena said. "But still, anything could have happened and while you were lying in that hospital bed still unconscious I promised myself that I'd never let you head into work without telling you that I loved you again. But yesterday it happened again and when you got called out while we were on the phone I was terrified of what would happen."

"I'm sorry love." Stef said softly. "It wasn't a major issue, just some kids trying to rob a liquor store. No weapons or injuries or anything."

"I didn't know that." Lena said. "And besides it won't always be that simple."

"Honey, you can't keep waiting for the day that something happens to me." Stef said. If this wasn't such a serious issue she would have made a crack asking if Lena was that desperate to get rid of her, but the look in Lena's eyes told her that now wasn't the time.

"I know, I'm not." Lena said. "But that doesn't mean that it couldn't ever happen. We've lived through it once Stef and I'm terrified that I'll have to live through it again, permanently this time."

Stef pulled Lena into a hug. "We fight, we argue, we say things we don't mean and sometimes it lasts longer than we mean for it to but you need to know that I always, always love you and I know that you love me too. There is no doubt in my mind about either of those things. I knew it yesterday and I'll know it again the next time we get into it."

Lena hugged Stef back, once again relishing the security of Stef's arms and words. She truly was her rock.

"When I called to tell you about Callie skipping lunch, it was really to find out if you were okay after the call-in." Lena admitted and Stef smiled at her. "And when you said that you were back at your desk doing paperwork I could hear that groan in your voice but I was so relieved. I live for the days when you're trapped behind that desk."

Stef laughed at Lena's admission. The look on Lena's face told her that she truly felt guilty for being glad when Stef was stuck doing paperwork. "I love you so god damn much Mrs. Adam's Foster." Stef said kissing Lena.

Lena spent a few seconds kissing her back before she play-smacked her. "Don't curse." She admonished. "But I love you so god damn much too, Mrs. Adam's Foster."

The two smiled as they kissed again before parting ways for the day.

* * *

Callie went through her first two classes in a daze and as a result she completely forgot to check in with Lena during break, despite the numerous reminders Lena gave her between the house and parting ways at school.

"Sorry to disturb but could I borrow Callie for a minute please." Lena said, poking her head into Callie's third period Math class.

The sight of Lena immediately reminded Callie what she's forgotten and she groaned as she made her way out the door.

"Where were you?" Lena asked the minute Callie was out in the hall.

"I'm sorry, I forgot." Callie said, looking away from Lena.

"Come with me." Lena said as she headed down the corridor towards her office. Once inside she shut and locked her door and closed the blinds.

"We're going to do a check." Lena said. She knew that Callie was upset about the upcoming conversation with Stef and when Callie never showed up to her office at break Lena couldn't help but worry.

"What? No." Callie protested. "I didn't do anything."

"I'm sorry Callie but I can't take that risk." Lena answered her. "We can either do this quickly or I can get Stef to come and deal with it." The moment the words left Lena's mouth she regretted them. She suddenly understood why Stef felt like she was always made to be the bad guy. Here Stef was trying to work things out with Callie and once again Lena was putting her in a position that could jeopardize their relationship. She knew that she needed to deal with this on her own, or at least she had to try. She would have to toughen up and do what needed to be done for the sake of her daughter.

Callie looked like she was planning to be stubborn about it and she wondered if it was so that she'd get Stef. She knew that Callie liked having Stef around, even when she drove her up the wall, but she didn't want to ruin their afternoon together so she needed to do this herself. "Come on Callie." She said in a firmer tone. "Don't make this hard, let's just get it over with."

Callie noticed the change in Lena's tone instantly and it took her by surprise. So far she had been able to manipulate Lena often enough and as a result of knowing that she was more willing to listen to Lena. But suddenly Lena sounded more like Stef and Callie felt herself losing control yet again - one more person who was toughening up to her ways.

Lena when over to Callie and placed both her hands on the sides of the girl's face, forcing her to look up. "Callie, I love you very much but I will make you sit here until I know that you are okay. I promise you that." Lena said fiercely.

Callie pulled her face away from Lena's grasp but the hold Lena had on her eyes remained until Callie finally groaned and gave in. She stripped down to her bra and underwear for a few seconds until Lena nodded, satisfied that Callie was safe for now.

"Thank you." Lena said as Callie redressed. "I'm proud of you."

"Really?" Callie asked bitterly. "Then how come you never trust me?"

Lena didn't know how to answer that. She did trust Callie but at the same time she didn't.

"Are we done?" Callie asked.

Lena nodded and watched as Callie left her office without another word.

* * *

Lena waited a few moments before following Callie out the door and heading back to her math class, looking through the glass to make sure that Callie was, in fact, there. Callie caught Lena's gaze and shook her head slightly - Lena really didn't trust her.

Callie was angry with Lena, not so much for the check up but more for the lack of trust. Callie knew that she had screwed up but she was working really hard to make it right but nothing she did was ever enough. She was never allowed a bad day without it becoming a huge issue. The funny things was, the more she realized that Stef and Lena didn't trust her, the more she wanted to go back to her old ways.

* * *

Stef got to the school a little before lunch and headed to Lena's office. Lena had been cooped up in there all day and suggested that they go outside for a bit. Lena related the morning's events as they made their way out to the volleyball court where the twins were having gym. Jesus was busy with a game but Mariana, ever ready to avoid any sport, spotted her mom's and came running over.

"Hey moms." She said with a smile, glad for the excuse to get away from the vicious ball.

"Hi love." Stef said, avoiding giving her daughter a kiss, knowing she wouldn't be too thrilled with the action considering where they were.

"I heard something happened with Callie this morning, is she okay?" Mariana asked.

"She's fine." Lena assured her. "How did you know?"

"Brandon mentioned that you called her out in the middle of class." Mariana answered.

Both women nodded. Nothing was ever private in a school or in a house of seven.

"She called you her mom's" Mariana added, noticing the look on their faces.

"What? When?" Both women asked in surprise.

"On Friday." Mariana answered. "She didn't want me to tell you, but I thought you should know."

Both women smiled at their daughter. "Thank you." Lena said. "For telling us."

Mariana smiled. "She's trying." She said, knowing how hard Callie was working to earn back their trust and become a normal person.

"We know." Stef assured her. "We're trying too."

The conversation was brought to an end by the sound of the bell and after waving to their twins the women headed back to Lena's office where Callie would be meeting them.


	17. Chapter 17

Callie's anger grew through her next two classes after Math. What was the point of trying so hard if nothing was ever going to change their minds, she wondered. She entered the science lab, her last class before lunch, still mad at Lena and upset that their trust in her hadn't increased at all. She sat down at a spot but it took a moment for her to realize what was sitting right in front of her. When she finally turned her attention to the table she saw a dead frog lying upside down in a little tray, ready for dissection.

Ordinarily this would have disgusted her but her focus was on the small dissection blade lying next to the frog, the knife small but the edge razor sharp and all Callie could think about was hiding the knife in her bag. But she didn't have the chance because the teacher appeared and instructed the glass to begin the dissection. Callie had no option but to stick that precious knife into the frog. She wasn't paying any attention to her work and had soon made too many mistakes to continue. Luckily she wasn't the only one so the teacher didn't take much notice. Finally the kids were asked to put everything into the trays and wash their hands in the row of sinks that lined one of the walls.

The bell rang just as Callie finished washing her hands and as she returned to her seat to grab her things she noticed that no one had been sitting in the seat next to hers, leaving the dissecting knife still clean and unused in the plastic seal. She glanced around the room and when she saw that no one was watching her she grabbed the small knife and shoved it into her pocket before collecting her bag and leaving.

* * *

As she walked down the halls towards Lena's office she could feel the knife burning a hole through her pocket and her heart raced. She was going to meet Stef in just a few seconds, would she be able to calm herself down before then.

"Hey Callie wait up." Callie heard and turned around to see someone from her science class running towards her. Her heart began to race even faster and she was sure the color drained from her face.

"You forgot your text book on the table." He said as he handed it to her.

Callie sighed in relief as she took the book and thanked him. As she watched him walk away she leaned against the wall in relief. She quickly put the book into her bag and along with it she slipped the small knife in as well. At least now it was safely hidden away where Stef wouldn't find it.

* * *

"Hi baby." Stef said as she saw Callie walking down the hall towards them. "Ready to go?"

Callie nodded, not looking directly at either of them.

"Bye baby, I love you." Lena said as she tried to give Callie a hug.

But Callie pulled away before Lena could get a hold of her. Lena looked momentarily hurt. She hated it when her kids were angry with her, this was why she preferred not to discipline. Stef gave her a reassuring squeeze and a wink before kissing her and leading Callie away.

* * *

"So mama told me what happened." Stef said as they got into the car. "Want to tell me your side of the story?" She asked, trying out this taking thing.

Callie shook her head, remaining silent.

"Come on, I know you have your reasons." Stef encouraged gently.

"I forgot." Callie said softly, but then the events of her time with Lena filled her with anger again and she finished her story with more force. "I told her that I just forgot and that I hadn't done anything but she wouldn't believe me." She said angrily.

Stef smiled, understanding Callie's anger. "I know you feel like we don't trust you love, and sometimes it really does look that way, but the truth is that we just don't want you to get hurt."

Stef left the conversation there for the moment, they were almost home and she wanted to be settled and give Callie her full concentration before she continued.

* * *

Ten minutes later the two were sitting propped up on pillows on the double bed. Callie was silently picking an imaginary spot on the bed and Stef was trying to get her thoughts in order. She pulled Callie close to her so that she could hold on to the girl as they talked, she wanted Callie to know that she was there and though this was going to be hard for both of them, they had each other.

"Mama says I need to be more honest with you." Stef finally admitted.

Callie looked up at Stef with confusion in her eyes. What was Stef lying about?

Stef smiled at Callie before she continued. "It's not that we don't trust you. The truth is that we are so afraid of failing you."

Callie looked away from Stef but waited for her to continue.

"I know that I get angry sometimes and I force you to do things that you don't want to do. I do them because I want what's best for you even if you don't realize it yourself sometimes. But I also do it to keep my own fears from showing." Stef told her honestly.

Callie was surprised at Stef's confession. She never imagined Stef to be afraid of anything, let alone afraid of her wellbeing.

"I try to protect those I love from everything and sometimes I fail at it and it makes me so angry. Lena's always telling me that it's okay to need help sometimes, to allow someone else in. It's the same thing that I've been trying to tell you. She says that we're both so much alike and that we both need to learn to let our guard down and let our true feelings show, and realizing that it's not a sign of weakness."

Stef waited a moment as her emotions took over. She held back a few tears, took a deep breath and continued.

"I'm not trying to frighten you or threaten you or punish you in any way but I need you to understand that if you don't get better here with us Callie then we may really have to send you somewhere where you can get the help you need." Stef continued.

Callie's eyes went wide with fear and her body went ridged despite Stef's assurance that it wasn't a threat or a punishment.

"Honey, _if_ that does happen you will not be alone. Not EVER." Stef promised. "We will be with you every step of the way and when you're ready to come home we'll bring you right back. But Callie if that's what it'll take to really help you then I promise you that's what I'll do."

Callie was crying now. She didn't want to get sent anywhere no matter who was with her. This was what she was most afraid of. But she was beginning to realize that her reason were wrong. She thought she was pushing them away so that they'd send her away and she could get back to her normal life. But now she realized that each time she pushed, she was hoping that they'd stick around. Now they were still promising to stick around but still talking about sending her away as well.

"Baby, I don't want it to have to get to that point." Stef told her as she held Callie close as the teen cried. "That's why I'm trying so damn hard to make it work right here. But if you aren't willing to help us out a little then there's not much that I can do. I get so afraid sometimes that you are just telling us what we want to hear. I'm sorry if that comes across as mistrust but the truth is I just want you safe and I'm willing to do whatever I have to to make sure that you are."

They sat in silence for a while just thinking about everything that Stef had said before Stef tried to get Callie to open up to her.

"So Dr. Briggs mentioned that you had something to tell us, but you weren't quite ready yet. You think you're ready now?" Stef asked.

Callie sank deeper into Stef's arms as though trying to disappear altogether.

"If you aren't ready it's okay." Stef assured her, holding her tight. "Just know that I'm here whenever you're ready."

"I'm losing control." Callie said, hiding her face in Stef's side.

"Of what?" Stef asked worriedly.

"My life." Callie answered.

"What do you mean love?" Stef asked.

"I used to be stronger." Callie said, still crying. "I never needed anyone, I never _wanted_ anyone."

Stef smiled at Callie's words despite the fact that the girl was upset. Callie just admitted to wanting them. Lena was right, both of them were alike - hiding their true feelings, especially if it showed any sign of weakness. She stroked Callie's head encouraging her to continue.

"Whenever I got too afraid of something I would cut myself to relieve some of the feelings. It was my way out. But then you stopped it and you made me promise never to do it again. And I'm trying, I really am." Callie said as she began to cry harder.

"I know you are love." Stef assured her.

"Not eating became something that you couldn't control." Callie admitted. "No matter how long you watched me or how much you took from me you couldn't force me to eat. At first I didn't realize I was even doing it. It was just my way of fighting back. But then..." She said but stopped, afraid to continue.

"But then what?" Stef asked gently.

"But then you'd get so mad at me and I wanted to keep making you mad at me." Callie admitted.

"Why?" Stef asked, confused. Why would Callie want her to be mad at her.

"Because after you got mad you'd always hold me close." Callie whispered into Stef's side.

Stef felt the tears fill her own eyes. She forced Callie's face up so she could look at her. "Sweetheart you don't need to make me mad at you just to get me to hold you or hug you. I'd love to do that without having to be mad at you."

"But that's the only time you ever do it." Callie said miserably.

"Whenever I try otherwise, you pull away from me." Stef told her. "I didn't want to make you uncomfortable."

Callie looked away. It was true - she tried to avoid the contact whenever she could, especially when she wasn't afraid that Stef was angry with her. It was just another sign of weakness.

"I didn't want to need you." Callie said.

"Oh baby girl." Stef hugged her. "We both have so much to learn."

Again the two sat in silence for a while, processing everything Callie had just admitted.

"You do know that we just want you safe yes?" Stef asked Callie after a while.

Callie nodded. She understood that now, when no one was doubting her, but she tended to forget it when they were checking her and hovering over her. That's when her anger began to boil again and needed an outlet.

"I know you think that we don't trust you but honestly we don't do even half the things we would like to." Stef told her.

Callie looked up at her wondering what she meant.

"If it were up to me I would check you ever time you were out of my sight. I'd raid the bathroom and your room three times a day and keep you by my side twenty-four-seven." She laughed but there was some seriousness in her words.

A flash of guilt crossed Callie's face at the words but even though it was only there for a second Stef caught it.

"What?" She asked Callie.

"Nothing." Callie shook her head, trying to cover up.

"Come on Callie." Stef said, making it obvious that she knew Callie was hiding something. "I know you're hiding something. What is it?"

"I've tried not to hurt myself. I really have." Callie said.

"Have you?" Stef asked. "Hurt yourself, I mean?"

"No... but each time you check me I feel so angry that you don't trust me and I want to do it just to spite you." Callie admitted.

"But you haven't?" Stef clarified. Callie thinking about it she could deal with, she was just afraid that Callie would actually do it.

"No, but..." Callie started, wondering whether she should tell her about the knife.

"But what Callie?" Stef asked.

Callie got off the bed and walked over to where she had dumped her backpack near the door. She pulled out the knife and went over to Stef but didn't hand it to her.

Stef looked at the knife in Callie's hands and her eyes when wide. She reached for it but Callie pulled away from her.

"I won't use it." Callie said, trying to convince Stef to let her have it.

"I still can't let you keep it." Stef said firmly.

"Please, I need it." Callie begged.

"Why?" Stef asked surprised. "If you aren't going to use it, why do you need it?"

Callie looked away. Why did she need it? She didn't want to use it so why couldn't she just let it go.

"I guess I also need to prove to myself that I don't need it." She admitted. "It's not so hard when there's nothing to use."

"Callie, I can't allow that." Stef said. "Besides, people don't go walking around with knives, trying to prove to themselves that they don't need it."

Callie could hear Stef's unspoken implication - though Stef hadn't actually used the term, what she actually meant was 'normal people' - 'normal people don't go walking around with knives, trying to prove to themselves that they don't need it.'

"Sweetheart, think about this - it takes just as much courage to let go of something that you really want as it does to not use something that you want to use." Stef tried to reason with the girl.

Callie looked at Stef. She had a point, it was really the same thing and this way Stef wouldn't be mad at her either - at least not as mad as she'd be if Callie refused to give her the knife. Would Stef be willing to hold her if she gave it up?

Callie reluctantly handed over the knife hoping that Stef would pull her back onto the bed for a hug once she did but instead Stef began inspecting the knife. It was an odd looking knife and the disposable blade still had the seal attached.

"Where did you get this?" Stef asked, looking back up at Callie.

"Science." Callie answered. "We used them to dissect frogs."

"When?" Stef asked, worried how long Callie actually had it.

"Today." Callie answered. "After Lena checked me in school"

Stef sighed - how was it that their trying to help Callie was causing her to revert back to her old habits. At least so far she hadn't done anything but she still had the knife which meant that she still though about it and that meant that they couldn't trust her completely. After all she did just admit to not trusting herself either.

But before Stef could discuss any of this with Callie her phone began to ring. She picked it up and saw Lena's name flash across the screen.

"Hi love." Stef said, assuming that Lena was calling to find out how it was going.

"Stef!" Lena said in a panicked tone. "Callie's science teacher is here. She said that one dissection knife is missing from her class."

Stef sighed as she looked over at Callie. "I know love." Stef said. "She gave it to me. She's fine." Stef watched as Callie's face fell at the realization that Lena now knew as well. "Yes honey, I'm sure." Stef said into the phone. "I'll see you soon. Love you." Stef ended the call. She kept her eyes on Callie thought waiting for the girl to say something.

"Is she mad?" Callie asked in a small voice.

"I think she's more worried than mad." Stef answered honestly.

"I yelled at her because she wouldn't trust me." Callie said miserably.

Stef didn't know how to respond. It wasn't fair to tell Callie that they did trust her when clearly they didn't and at the same time they couldn't even promise to try knowing that she was still hiding stuff from them. Stef suddenly found herself wondering if this was going to be it forever - would there ever be an end to Callie's pain? She had lived though so many horrible things, was she too broken to be fixed at all?


	18. Chapter 18

Stef looked at Callie, still standing beside the bed looking lost.

"Come here love." Stef said. She was surprised at the speed with which Callie jumped onto the bed and into her arms. Obviously it was something Callie was waiting for.

Stef held on tight to Callie for a few minutes. "You know, you don't always have to wait for me to hug you." She whispered into her ear. "I won't be mad if you come to me and ask for it."

Callie fidgeted uncomfortably. She rarely asked for anything ever, and when she did it wasn't something as personal as a hug.

Stef decided that while Callie was in her arms and while she was opening up she'd try to get some answers. "Will you give me some honest answers?" She asked the girl.

Callie looked up at Stef wondering if she should agree to such a statement without knowing the questions first.

Stef seemed to read Callie's mind. "Try as best you can okay." She said.

Callie finally nodded and waited as Stef decided which of the many questions to begin with.

"If you hadn't given me the knife and if Lena hadn't found out about it, what would you have done?" Stef asked her.

Callie shrugged. "I don't know." She said honestly. "I didn't want to use it. I was just angry and I knew it would made you guys angry."

"But if we never knew about it we wouldn't have been angry." Stef pointed out.

Callie thought about that for a moment. "You would have found out eventually." Callie said.

Stef looked at her realizing that this was part of Callie's admission of trying to make them mad at her on purpose. She wanted them to know about it - she wanted the attention from them, or rather she wanted the love from them after they got over their anger. What she wasn't sure of was whether Callie would have just showed them the knife or used it to get their anger. Stef had to admit that she would be much more angry if Callie had actually used the knife to hurt herself and if anger was what Callie wanted then that would have been the way to go.

"So far, in this house, you've cut yourself three times, yes?" Stef asked.

Callie nodded. "Once on my wrist and twice on my thigh."

"How many times have you wanted to do it but stopped yourself?" Stef asked. "And I mean really wanted to do it but stopped?"

Callie shrugged. "Not that many." She said honestly. "It's not like I want to do it all the time. Even when I do it I don't really want to. I do want to get better."

"Then why don't you come to us instead?" Stef asked her. "Especially the second time around."

"I guess I'm afraid that you won't understand." Callie answered.

"Okay. I don't understand the cutting, that's true. And I may not even understand what you're going through. But baby that doesn't mean that I won't try to help you in any way that I can." Stef said firmly. "There is absolutely nothing you could say or do to make me love you less. Even if you didn't want to get adopted and you chose to live somewhere else, I would still love you very much and I would be there to help you if you needed it."

Stef looked at Callie. She looked so small right now - nothing like the sixteen year old girl she was when she first got there. Back then so was so tough, she wouldn't break. But now she looked like the smallest breeze could crush her. Stef began to understand what Callie meant my losing her strength.

"That's what scares you." Stef observed. "That I'm always going to be there. That you _want_ me to be there."

Callie looked away but leaned closer into Stef.

"Baby you aren't alone anymore. You don't have to fend for yourself any longer." Stef said.

"I know..." Callie said. "But even my adoption is taking so long and something keeps going wrong."

"Sweetheart, I think that even if you got adopted right now, right this second, you'd still feel this way." Stef told her. "I now you want that piece of paper that says Callie Adams Foster on it, I want it too, but unless you really believe that we love you then not even that paper is going to change anything."

"I don't know how to do it." Callie said softly. "Just let it all go and let someone else take over."

"Neither do I baby." Stef told her. "I know how to take care of someone else just like you do but I have no idea how to let someone take care of me. But we're going to learn that together okay."

Callie nodded. If Stef could do it then so could she - at least she hoped she could. She liked the idea of being just like Stef. She was the strongest, most independent person she knew and there was no one she'd rather be like than Stef.

"How about we make a deal." Stef suggested. "We are both going to try and be honest with each other. No matter how difficult we find it we're going to try okay. And if you feel like you're losing control or you have an opinion on something all you have to do is come and tell us and as long as it doesn't hurt you in any way we'll find a way to work around it. But we are still the mom's honey and that means we have to have control. You're the one who's learning how to be the kid. I would do the same for any one of the others. Heck, I do it to Lena too and she's always getting mad at me for treating her like one of you kids. But we're both gonna work on it, Deal?" Stef asked.

Callie nodded in agreement.

"That goes for questions too." Stef added. "If you want to ask anything you can, without being afraid. Hugs included."

Callie smiled into Stef's side. "I'll try." She said softly.

"Me too." Stef promised. "And we're going to start now."

Callie looked up at the determination in her voice.

"We both skipped lunch. I think it's high time for a snack." Stef said with a smile, but her tone was serious.

* * *

Lena was to drive the other kids home but they all had some activity or the other that went overtime. Brandon was with Matt and Lou practicing for their upcoming gig, Mariana was with the dance girls practicing as well and Jesus had a half-hour make-up test. That left Lena alone with Jude for a while.

Lena was finishing up some paperwork while Jude was sitting in front of her desk, supposedly reading a book, but it was obvious to Lena that he was distracted. She waited, knowing that the boy would talk to her whenever he was ready. But she wasn't expecting the question that he finally asked.

"How long has Callie been hurting herself?" Jude asked in a small voice.

Lena stopped writing but continued to stare at the page, afraid of the expression on her own face. She was sure it was shock but she didn't want Jude to interpret it as anger or anything else really. She needed a second to compose herself and wrap her mind around the fact that he obviously knew about Callie's problems.

Finally Lena looked up and saw Jude staring intently at her waiting for an answer. She noticed how much faith he had in them all from that one look. He trusted them not to hurt him or get angry with him for asking such a question. Had it been Callie, by now she would have looked away, fidgeting uncomfortably, looking for a way out. But Jude continued to stare at her waiting for her response.

"In this house, three months ago. But it only happened twice." Lena told him.

"And before?" Jude asked.

"I don't know for sure. I know the last time she did it was when you were living with the Olmsteads." Just saying the name sent shivers down Lena's spine.

"Because she had to break up with him?" Jude asked.

"What?" Lena asked in shock.

"Did she do it because she had to break up with him when we left?" Jude rephrased his question. "It was her fault that we got sent away."

Lena didn't know who she was more angry at - Liam - for hurting Callie, his parents - for not sticking up for her, the system - for putting her in that house in the first place, or Jude - for thinking the worst of the one person who had risked her life over and over again to protect him.

Yes, Callie had fallen for Liam's affection and craved it past the normal foster-brother/sister relationship but she was a girl who had no one on her side and suddenly she was offered something she never had before. But she was still a child and she was taken advantage of so no matter how much she wanted it and how much she encouraged it, it was still not her fault. Not EVER.

But Lena knew she couldn't tell Jude what she was thinking without talking to Callie first. This was her story to share and it was up to her to decide how much she wanted Jude to know. But even though in this moment Lena was angry with Jude she knew that he deserved some honest answers. She knew that if he knew the truth he'd never blame her the way he was now.

"Jude, what happened at the Olmstead's was _not_ Callie's fault." Lena said firmly.

"She wasn't supposed to be in a relationship with him." Jude said. Clearly he still held a grudge against Callie for that.

"Jude, even if Callie wasn't in a relationship with him, they were still not qualified to be foster parents." Lena tried to explain, without giving him details. "You can't hold her responsible for anything that happened there."

Jude didn't look convinced but he didn't argue any further. He knew that Lena wasn't going to agree with him so there was no point. He had learned long ago to just let go of things he had no control over.

* * *

When Lena and the kids finally got home she found Stef and Callie sitting at the kitchen table side by side with bowls of leftover stew in front of them. She smiled as she watched Callie take a bite of her food, Stef's hand holding on to her's under the table. Stef's bowl was now empty but Callie was only half way through. Obviously their afternoon had gone well. Lena hoped that the conversation that they needed to have with Callie wouldn't ruin any progress she had made.

Lena signaled to Stef that they needed to talk. Stef nodded but leaned over and kissed the side of Callie's head to let Lena know that she's wait until Callie was done eating. Lena went about putting things away waiting for their conversation.

The three boys had run upstairs to put their stuff away. Jude had been silent the whole way home, but in his defense Mariana and Jesus had argued the whole way, leaving no room for anyone else to talk, though Lena knew he'd have been silent regardless. Mariana took a seat opposite Stef and Callie with a granola bar and a glass of juice. She wanted to support Callie, especially since she had gotten her to eat the last time Stef asked.

Mariana managed to engage Callie in a conversation about Callie taking pictures of the dance team and Stef took it as a cue to head upstairs with Lena. Callie was almost done eating and it would give them a chance to show Callie that they trusted her, by not sticking around till she finished her last bite.

"We'll be right upstairs babies." Stef said as she kissed first Callie and then Mariana, whispering a small 'thanks' into the latter's ear as she did so.

* * *

"What's up love?" Stef asked as she and Lena entered their bedroom.

"Jude know's about Callie's self harm." Lena informed Stef.

"What? How?" Stef asked, looking concerned.

"I don't know. But he also blames her for what happened at the Olmstead's." Lena said.

"He knows about that too?" Stef asked in shock as her eyes went wide.

"Not everything." Lena clarified. "That's why he blames her."

Stef sat down on the bed trying to figure out how Jude could have found out. They had all made sure to protect him from this for both his own sake as well as Callie's. But somehow he had found out anyways.

"It's not fair." Lena said, her voice catching. "She has done so much for him, it's not fair for him to blame her like that."

"I agree Love." Stef said softly. "But he doesn't know what really happened." She tried to defend him.

"I know, but even if it was her fault..." Lena began, but paused and raised her hand when Stef was about to interrupt and deny that last bit. "I'm not saying that it is..." She clarified. "But... even if it was her fault, she has done so damn much for him that he doesn't get to hold one mistake against her."

If Stef wasn't sure of how strongly Lena felt when she started this conversation, she was sure of it now. Lena never cursed unless something really upset her and she rarely ever got upset with the kids, especially Jude. But right now Stef knew that she was mad at him and desperately wanted to change his mind about Callie.

"He loves her." Stef said, trying to remind Lena that this one incident wasn't what their entire relationship was about.

"I know that Stef but I also remember the moment Callie walked out of juvie, her face bruised and her lip busted, her eyes tearing over thought she tried to hold them in. She was sent in there trying to protect him and the very next day she risked her life again trying to get him out of that house. And god know how many times and in how many ways she's protected him before. It's not right for him to blame her for one mistake, a mistake that wasn't even hers." Lena said as tears filled her eyes.

"Honey, think about this. She's protected him so well that he doesn't even know about most of the horrors that he actually had to live through." Stef told Lena. "If it were us and our kids, wouldn't you do anything for them and hope that they knew nothing about it as well?"

Lena nodded, understanding what Stef was saying. "But she's just a kid too." She pointed out, tears still in her eyes. "Who's looking out for her?"

"We are." Stef told her. "We are and we will for the rest of her life."

"And what about all the years that we weren't there?" Lena asked. "What about the times when she was all alone?"

"I'm pretty sure she doesn't regret her decision to protect Jude for even a second." Stef told her. "If nothing else, I'll bet it was the one thing that kept her going."

"She's so tough." Lena said, thinking of all Callie had been through.

"Speaking of our 'tough Callie'." Stef said, changing the topic slightly. "I found out why Callie's having such a hard time."

Lena looked up at Stef. She had been meaning to ask about their afternoon but she got so caught up in Jude's confession that it got pushed to the back of her mind.

"Why?" She asked.

"She feels like she's losing control." Stef explained. "She's been in charge of her own life and Jude's for so long that she's having a hard time letting us take over."

"Doesn't that make it easier?" Lena asked confused.

"She feels like she won't have the strength to survive on her own if things go south." Stef answered.

"Go south?" Lena questioned. "Like her adoption doesn't go though?"

Stef nodded. "I think she now knows that we aren't going to send her away by choice but she's not wrong when she says that someone could still come and take her away."

"No, I guess she isn't." Lena said. "But she has to know that we'd fight like hell with anyone who tried to do that."

"We would." Stef agreed. "But there are no guarantees."

"What did she say about the knife?" Lena asked. She had almost forgotten about that little incident.

"She gave it to me herself after I explained why we check her so often." Stef said. "She assured me that she didn't really want to use it."

"Why did she take it then?" Lena asked.

"She was mad at you for not trusting her after break." Stef said and Lena's face clouded with guilt.

"I couldn't not check her, Stef." Lena defended herself.

"I know Love," Stef assured her. "I explained that to her as well and she understood once she realized that we weren't just angry when we did it but more afraid than we let on.

"What about the rest of the talk?" Lena asked. She didn't say it but they both knew she meant Stef's part of the 'being honest'.

"It went better than I expected." Stef said. "When I talked to her about why I was pushing her so hard and trying to force her to get better she was more willing to listen. She understood that I was doing it to try and keep from having to send her anywhere. It helps that she doesn't want to go."

"Good." Lena said, finally smiling. At least some progress was made. "And I see she ate."

"Not only that." Stef said with a huge smile on her face. "But she told me what she'd like to eat and served us both our bowls, filling them both reasonably well."

Lena smiled at the image but it soon turned into a wicked grin.

"What are you grinning about?" Stef asked her.

"So all my talking and sharing and feeling helped huh?" She asked mischievously.

"Something like that." Stef laughed too, not willing to admit straight out at how successful it had been.

The two sat together for a few minutes just enjoying the progress they had made. Both of them knew that they were still far from the end but they could see that they were getting there - slowly sometimes, but steadily nonetheless.


	19. Chapter 19

When Callie finally finished the last of her stew Mariana picked up the bowl along with her own glass and set them in the sink.

"Let's do something fun." She suggested.

"Like what?" Callie asked, Mariana's idea of fun wasn't exactly the same as hers.

"Well, I'd say do our nails, get a facial, the works. But I guess something we'd both enjoy." Mariana said and Callie smiled.

"Okay, so what do you have in mind?" Callie asked.

"Wanna see if moms will let us go for a movie?" Mariana asked. "If we do an early show they may say yes. Just you and me - something fun and silly."

But honestly Callie didn't want to be too far from her mom's. After todays talk with Stef she just wanted to be close by.

Mariana was already looking through her phone for the movies that were currently running and their timings while Callie stood there, hoping her mom's would object. She didn't want to say no herself - Mariana looked so excited and was genuinely trying to help and Callie didn't want to admit that she wanted her moms.

"Ooh, how about 'Step Up All In'?" Mariana suggested, her face gleeful with excitement over a dance movie. "It starts at six so we'll be home by eight-thirty. It'll be fun, come on." Mariana said as she made her way upstairs to ask her moms if they could go.

Callie followed a few steps behind and when she finally got to her moms room she heard Mariana try to convince them that the movie would only go on till eight and they should be home by eight-thirty latest.

"It's a school night Mariana." Stef said. "You know the rules."

"I know." Mariana said, "But I thought just this once you'd let us go. Callie's been home all last week, it might be nice and it's early so we'll be home soon."

Stef looked at Lena for her input. "Does Callie even want to see this movie?" Lena asked, noticing Callie's face.

All three heads turned towards Callie's and Callie saw the pleading look in Mariana's eyes. "Why not?" Callie shrugged. It would just be for a couple of hours right.

"Fine." Stef finally agreed. "But I'll drop you and pick you up."

Mariana clapped her hands in excitement and immediately headed back to her room to dress up, calling out a quick 'thank you' and she left.

"Come here." Stef told Callie as Mariana left.

"I know, I know."Callie groaned as she crawled onto the bed next to Stef. "Don't do anything bad and don't don't run away."

Stef pulled Callie into a hug and although she laughed there was a hint of hurt in it. "Actually I was going to remind you that we're only phone call away." Stef said seriously, looking directly at Callie.

Callie's face softened as she looked back at Stef. "Really? No lecture?" She teased causing Lena to laugh and Stef to poke her in the side.

"I love you." Stef said seriously and pulled Callie even closer, giving her a kiss on the head before releasing her to get ready for the movie.

When Callie was gone Stef looked over at Lena and found her wife staring back at her, a smile on her face.

"What?" Stef asked defensively.

"I could have sworn that girl came from you." Lena said. The similarities between them still amazed her sometimes.

* * *

Twenty minutes later Stef pulled up outside the theater, thankful that Mariana's chatter would soon come to an end for her. Mariana had assured Stef that she'd look out for Callie and call them if anything went wrong without Stef even having to ask her and Stef had given her a grateful smile. Now Mariana jumped out of the car the moment it stopped but Callie remained in the passenger seat for an extra moment.

"You okay love?" Stef asked.

Callie nodded. "I can do this." She whispered.

Stef knew that Callie was talking about being just another teenage girl going to the movies with her sister. "Yes you can love." She encouraged with a smile and a squeeze to Callie's hand.

Callie took a deep breath before finally opening the car door and getting out.

"Hey wait." Stef called right before she shut the door. She quickly pulled out two twenty dollar bills from her pocket and handed them to Callie. "For the ticked and snacks." She said and then decided not to ruin the evening for Callie. "If you want." She added.

Callie smiled gratefully at Stef. "Thanks." She said as she shut the door and joined Mariana at the ticket line.

Both girls waves as Stef drove off. All three of them hoping that the evening would go well.

* * *

Back at the house Jude was still angry about Callie hurting herself and as a result he was losing miserably in a game he was playing with Jesus.

"Come on dude." Jesus said in frustration when they lost again. "You aren't even trying."

"Sorry." Jude mumbled.

"It wasn't even a hard level. We're partners in this one remember." Jesus said, oblivious to Jude's distraction.

"Sorry." Jude said more forcefully this time as he dumped his controller onto the couch and walked off in a huff.

"What's up with you?" Jesus asked as he followed Jude up the stairs. Jude didn't often act out so this was strange.

"Nothing." Jude said, trying to get rid of Jesus. "Just leave me alone."

"Whatever." Jesus said as he turned around and headed back downstairs and back to his game.

About ten minutes later Lena came downstairs to start dinner for the family. It was just four of them since the girls were out and Brandon was at Mike's so she was just going to make a quick pasta in an almond and parmesan sauce and a bowl of cheesy mashed potatoes just in case Callie didn't eat at the movies.

She stopped by the stairs when she saw Jesus playing his video game alone. "Where's Jude?" She asked. "Wasn't he playing with you?"

"I wouldn't call it playing." Jesus said without looking up from his game. "But he left in a huff a while back."

Lena looked back up the steps as thought she'd be able to see Jude in his room. She decided to go and check on him. He had been pretty upset after their conversation and so had she so she hadn't really done much to comfort him.

Lena headed upstairs and knocked gently on the door and waited for permission to enter. She was surprised however when she receive none so she opened the door anyways to find Jude sitting on his bed playing with a small brown pocket knife.

"JUDE!" She exclaimed as she snatched it away from him.

Jude looked up at her with tears in his eyes. "Why would she do it?" He asked miserably.

And suddenly all the anger that Lena felt towards Jude disappeared. This boy loved his sister, he just didn't understand.

"Why would she hurt herself?" he asked. "Other people do it enough."

Lena pulled Jude close to her as she wrapped her arms around him, tears in her own eyes. She realized now that Jude wasn't planning on hurting himself like she had thought, but instead he was trying to understand why his sister would go to such extremes.

"There's no easy answer to that sweetheart." She said softly. "Sometimes people who've gone through a lot of emotional or internal hurt need physical pain to be an outlet." She tried to explain. This was too heavy a topic and one she definitely never imagined having with her thirteen year old.

"But we don't live like that now." Jude pointed out. "So why would she do it here?"

Lena thought about that for a moment. She thought about what Stef had told her about Callie feeling like she was losing control of her strength. Before coming here Callie was too focused on keeping Jude safe and fed and clothed. That's what got her to survive. Now she was just a kid and all that responsibility that she had carried around for six years was catching up to her and it was getting too much for her to bare. How could Lena explain all that to Jude? What could she say to him that would make him feel better rather than more afraid or guilty.

"I think that she feels safe in this house." Lena explained, trying to make it sound safe rather than scary. "She can let go of her pain and anger without worrying about punishment. This was her way of letting it go."

Jude looked up at her trying hard to understand. He could understand part of what she was saying, he remembered the time he had thrown a book at Jesus for locking him out of the room. Back then he wasn't adopted yet but he knew he was still safe and though he got into trouble for it no one hurt him. He would never have dreamed of doing that in any other foster home.

But in that incident Jude was angry with someone else and tried to hurt someone else. He couldn't understand the part about Callie hurting herself.

Lena knew that they had to have a conversation with Callie soon so that they could talk to Jude. He needed some answers if he was to understand all of this. But until they spoke with Callie her hands were tied so she opted for distracting Jude instead.

"Want to help me make dinner?" She asked him.

Jude, ever ready to help out nodded and stood up walking out of the room and down the stairs towards the kitchen.

* * *

A short while later Stef entered the house to Jesus still playing video games in the living room and Jude and Lena in the kitchen. Lena was just done boiling the pasta and stirring the sauce and Jude was busy mashing the potatoes.

"Good job bud." Stef said, looking at the now mashed potatoes.

"Hey Jude. Could you stir the pasta into the sauce for me while I talk to mom for a second." Lena told him, handing him the pot of sauce as well at the pasta.

She helped Jude pour the pasta into the sauce before motioning for Stef to follow her into the dining room.

"What's up love?" Stef asked.

"We need to talk to Callie about what to say to Jude." Lena said, no evidence of anger in her voice.

"Did something happen?" Stef asked.

Lena pulled out the small knife from her pocket and Stef's eyes widened.

"He wasn't trying to hurt himself." Lena quickly assured her wife. "But he's trying to understand what she's going through and we both know he can't do that on his own."

"Where did he get the knife?" Stef asked.

"Apparently he's had it for years." Lena answered.

Stef took the knife from Lena and studied it. "T. J.?" She asked.

"Thomas Jacob, their grandfather." Lena explained.

"Has she been using this all those years?" Stef asked.

"I'm not sure but I kind of grilled Jude a bit while we were making dinner and he did say that he's had the knife since his mom died. He sort of implied that it's been with him all the time and not Callie. But I didn't ask him straight out." Lena said.

Stef nodded as she looked back down at the knife wondering how many times her daughter had used it to hurt herself.

"He wanted it back." Lena said.

Stef's eyes immediately snapped up. "No!" She said firmly.

Lena smiled. "That was my thought too, but this has been so important to him all these years, can we just take it away from him like that?"

"Yes." Stef insisted. "We are his parents and we need to do what's best for him, for all of them, even if it's something that they don't like."

To ensure that her point was received well and clear Stef pushed the knife into her own pocket so that there was no way Lena could give it back to him.

* * *

Dinner was quiet that evening, with only the four of them - three of whom were busy with their own thoughts. Stef and Lena had decided to talk to Callie that night itself just in case something else came up with Jude, at least then the mom's would know how much they could say. They'd wait and see when they could have a talk with Jude as well.

Jesus, who had long forgotten his grudge against Jude after winning a number of levels on his own, was the only one really talking and since he had been playing his game for almost an hour that was his topic of choice.

"That's great love." Stef said, after only half listening to Jesus describe yet another difficult scene in which he had to slay some dragon.

"You should have seen the blood gush out of my nose when the Dragon's tail knocked me over." Jesus said, a big smile on his face.

Lena made a face. Though it was just a video game the image made her instantly nauseous and she rushed to the bathroom.

"Jesus could we have a more appropriate dinner conversation please." Stef said as she followed Lena into the bathroom, finding her wife bent over the toilet, throwing up."

Stef pulled Lena's curls back and held them as she rubbed Lena's back. When Lena was finally done Stef closed the lid and helped her sit down.

"Feel better?" She asked as she placed a wet hand towel on Lena's forehead.

Lena nodded but she didn't look like she was any better.

"Drink this love." Stef said, handing her a cup of cold water.

Lena drank the water and finally began to feel better. She got up and washed her face and rinsed out her mouth. She was headed back towards the kitchen to clean up but Stef maneuvered her towards the stairs. "I'll finish up here. You go lie down." She instructed.

Lena knew that protesting was pointless. Stef would carry her up the stairs herself if she didn't listen so she did as she was told.

Stef headed back to the kitchen where the boys had finished their food. She picked up all the plates and threw out what was left in her's and Lena's plates before rinsing them all out and sticking them in the dishwasher. Then wiped down the table and counter before putting the extra pasta and the mashed potatoes into the fridge.

Once she was done in the kitchen she checked the time. It was eight. She had to go pick up the girls from the movies so she headed upstairs and found Lena sitting up in bed, her head resting against the headboard and her eyes closed. Stef wasn't sure whether or not she was asleep so she quietly turned out the lights and was about to shut the door when she heard Lena.

"What no kiss?" Lena asked, her face straight and eyes still closed.

Stef smiled as she flipped the lights back on and headed towards her wife. As she approached Lena opened her eyes and smiled as well.

Stef bent down and kissed Lena, hard on the mouth, making sure she knew just how much she loved her. Without breaking their kiss Stef changed positions so that she was lying on the bed next to Lena, one hand on her stomach where their baby was and the other lost in Lena's curls.

The two kissed for ages until Lena finally pulled away. "You better leave babe." She said glancing at the clock that read eight-ten. "Or else you're going to be late."

Stef groaned but pushed herself up off Lena, giving her one last kiss on her way up before heading out to get their girls.


	20. Chapter 20

Stef saw Callie and Mariana waiting outside the theater for her as she pulled up. There was still a crowd around them so the movie had obviously just finished. As she got closer she could see both girls smiling.

"You have to admit you liked it." Mariana said as she climbed into the car.

"I already said it wasn't bad." Callie replied laughing. "But I wouldn't want to watch it ever again."

"I see things went well." Stef said smiling at her girls.

"It was amazing." Mariana said, with enthusiasm. "You should see those girls dance. I'll never be as good."

"Those are professionals Mariana." Stef said. "They've probably been doing it since they were toddlers. You've just started. If you work hard you'll get better."

"But I'll never be that good." Mariana said, her excitement dying down a bit.

"Just be the best that you can be and that's all that matters." Stef told her.

Mariana groaned as she turned her attention to her phone while Stef turned her's towards Callie.

"How was your evening love?" She asked, observing Callie.

"Not bad." Callie said. The movie wasn't half bad but the line to the bathroom was a mile long."

Though Callie was smiling and had obviously enjoyed herself Stef's breath caught at Callie's last line. She couldn't help but wonder about what Callie could have done in the bathroom by herself.

Callie must have seen the look on Stef's face because she looked away, a sad expression on her face and Stef knew that she hand't done anything. Stef reached across the console and squeezed Callie's knee affectionately.

Stef wanted to ask what they had eaten but she didn't want Callie to feel like she was being questioned so she just left it. She'd drop it into the conversation casually or else she'd ask Callie privately once they were home.

* * *

When they finally got there Stef lead the girls into the house. Jesus and Jude were watching T.V. downstairs.

"Hi mom." Jude said as they walked into the house. "Mama's sleeping but she said to wake her when you got home."

"Thanks Love." Stef said. She knew that Lena wanted to talk to Callie about Jude and she hoped that it wouldn't ruin Callie's night - she seemed to be in such a good mood that Stef was reluctant to risk ruining it.

But slowly as the five of them climbed the stairs to head to their rooms Stef realized that the sooner they dealt with this the better. Jude seemed to be getting more and more curious and after seeing his knife she wanted to give him some honest answers as soon as possible.

"Get ready for bed and then come join us for a bit please." Stef told Callie as Callie was about to enter her room.

Callie gave Stef a questioning look.

"We just want to talk." Stef assured her with a smile.

Callie nodded and then went to get dressed.

Stef walked into her own room. Lena was fast asleep over the covers, still in her clothes. Stef went to her, lying down next to her and held her close as she planted a kiss on her cheek.

"We're home love." Stef said softly as she woke Lena up.

Lena moaned, but turned around to face her wife and smiled. "I could sleep like this all night." She said, referring to being wrapped in Stef's arms.

"Anything for you my love." Stef told her. "But Callie's going to be here in a bit so right now lets get changed so we can talk when she gets here."

Lena must have forgotten momentarily about their decision to talk to the girl because her face fell instantly.

"We can do it tomorrow if you'd rather." Stef told her.

"No. We need to do this." Lena said as she got out of bed.

The two of them brushed their teeth and got ready for bed and just as they were climbing into bed Callie knocked on the door.

"Come in honey." Lena called and Callie slowly opened the door.

"Come join us love." Stef told her, making space between them for Callie.

"Did you have a nice time tonight?" Lena asked Callie.

Callie nodded as she settled herself down on the bed. She imagined that they were going to check her but instead they asked her to get into bed. Now she had no idea what was coming. And she definitely didn't expect what finally came.

"So we wanted to talk to you about Jude." Stef said and immediately Callie's attention is completely on the conversation.

"What's wrong with Jude?" Callie asked looking worried.

Stef and Lena shared a look before Stef sighed and continued. "He knows about you hurting yourself." She said cautiously.

They watched Callie's eyes go wide and her breathing get quick and shallow.

"Breath honey." Stef said rubbing Callie's back rapidly. "Calm down."

"How did he find out?" Callie asked on the verge of tears.

"We aren't sure." Lena said "but I've spoken to him and he's really confused."

"What did you say to him?" Callie asked. Of all the things in the world this was the last thing she wanted to happen. Suddenly being sent away to some hospital or psych ward seemed like such a trivial thing.

"I tried to explain to him that you were hurting and didn't know how to handle it." Lena said. "But I didn't tell him too much because we decided to talk to you first. We wanted to know how much you wanted to let Jude know."

"How much does he know?" Callie asked worriedly.

"Well he knows that you cut yourself and that you did it while living with the Olmsteads, but he doesn't know why." Lena answered.

"Good, he can't find out." Callie said.

"Sweetheart we think that you should talk to him about it. Be honest with him." Stef said gently.

"No way." Callie said firmly. "I'd die if he ever knew."

"Sweetheart he blames you for being sent away from that house." Lena said gently, still hating that fact.

"I don't care." Callie said. "Let him blame me. Better he blames me than knows the truth."

Lena sighed. She wished she could put a stop to Jude's grudge against Callie but without Callie's permission she knew that she couldn't.

"What about the rest?" Stef asked. "We need to tell him something to help him understand."

"No." Callie said. "Just leave it and he'll forget about it."

"Oh honey he won't just forget." Lena said. "He's so worried about you and he's trying to understand, he really is."

Stef pulled the pocket knife out of her pocket and held it in front of Callie in the palm of her hand.

"How did you get this?" Callie asked surprised. It was Jude's most prized possession.

"I caught him looking at it, studying it to try and understand why you would hurt yourself." Lena answered honestly. "I got a little afraid and so I took it away from him."

Callie looked miserably back at her. What had she done? How could she have put her bother through this. She reached out to take the knife from Stef but Stef closed her fist around it.

"How often have you used this knife to hurt yourself?" Stef asked her.

Callie looked up at Stef in shock. "Never." She said forcefully. "And I never would. That's the one knife I'm actually safe with. I would never do that to Jude." She said.

"Okay." Stef said, relaxing a little. At least the one knife that was in their possession wasn't a weapon.

Callie turned her gaze back to the knife still encircled in Stef's fist. Suddenly it's value had changed for her. She couldn't imagine Jude even thinking about using something to hurt himself. But it was her stupidity that even lead him to the thought in the first place.

"Well he want's it back." Stef explained. "But we aren't going to give it to him."

Callie once again turned her attention to Stef.

"We know that it's important to him but under the circumstances we don't think it's such a good idea." Stef explained. "We'll keep it for him and we'll give it back to him in a few years when he's older and understands more."

Callie nodded. She didn't want Jude to hurt himself either.

"We might need you to help explain that to him." Lena said. "He was pretty upset when I took it from him."

"It was all I had to give him." Callie answered. "I took mom's necklace and gave him the knife." Her hand reaching up to the little pendant around her neck as she spoke.

"We understand that and we promise to keep it safe." Lena said.

"Callie we need to talk to Jude about all this." Stef said. "He needs to understand and he needs to do it the right way so that it doesn't become too much for him to handle."

"He would never do that." Callie said. "He's not stupid."

"Neither are you." Lena said, not liking the fact that Callie thought herself stupid for the way she handled her problems. "But we never know how someones going to respond to stress and we don't want to take that chance."

"Remember we talked about trust and honesty?" Stef asked Callie and watched her nod. "Well just like you and I dealt with it this afternoon, mama and I dealt with it last night and we think it'll be good for you and Jude to do it as well. We understand that you don't want to tell him about what really happened with Liam but it would help you both if you could talk about the other stuff - the stuff that's happened here." Stef said. "And we'll be with you while you talk to him so that we can help both of you. We'll do it after school tomorrow."

Callie looked horrified at the idea but she knew she had no choice. She really hated herself for what was happening. But one thing was certain, she knew that no matter how angry she got or at whom she would never, ever hurt herself again. This was her cure - the thing she had tried to avoid the most and now that it had actually happened she knew she had to stop no matter how hard it was for her.

But Callie didn't bother explaining any of this to her moms. She had already made this promise to them more than once and broken it each time so she knew that they wouldn't completely believe her. No, this time it was for herself. This time she was promising herself that she wouldn't do it again and she knew that this time she'd be able to keep it and only then would anyone else believe it too.

* * *

Callie was still upset about Jude's knowledge of her self harm the following morning and as a result she was late for breakfast and didn't eat anything. Though all three of them downplayed things in front of Jude, Stef did warn Callie that if she didn't eat something then Stef would keep her home until she did and only drive her to school after breakfast. Reluctantly Callie grabbed half a bagel, promising to eat it in the car, under Lena's supervision.

Finally the whole family was out the door. Stef heading to the station while the rest of them to school. Stef had given Lena a kiss, making her promise to watch Callie eat the bagel and Lena assured her that she would.

Callie sat in the passenger seat slowly eating her dry bagel while Jesus and Brandon sat right in the back of the car and Mariana and Jude occupied the middle row. Mariana and Jude were having a discussion about his Solar System project and Jude mentioned to Mariana that Conner loved her idea and suddenly Callie realized that Jude had lied to her about fighting with Connor, which means he had known about her since then and she also realized that it had been Mariana who told Jude her secret - that's why Mariana had told her that Jude was worried about her - she was the only one who knew that Jude knew the truth. Callie was suddenly angry with Mariana. How could she do this? How could she put Jude through it?

* * *

When they reached the school Lena waved off all her kids and held Callie back for a moment.

"Are you okay?" Lena asked gently.

Callie nodded. She was angry but she was okay and although Lena didn't know it she wasn't going to hurt herself no matter how many chances she got.

"Okay. Don't worry about Jude, we'll deal with this together." Lena said. "We both love you."

"I love you too." Callie said for the first time, and she really meant it.

Lena's eyes filled with tears and she reached out and pulled Callie into a hug, not caring that she was still standing in the parking lot in front of the school surrounded by teachers and students heading into the building. And Callie didn't seem too bothered either because soon Lena felt arms wrap around her and hug her back as well.

"Baby you just made my day." Lena said, kissing Callie before releasing her and wiping her teary eyes.

Callie smiled shyly back at her. She had never said the words before but she had always loved them. She just never realized how much it would mean to them to hear her say it.

"Don't tell mom okay." Callie said softly, using another term for the first time in front of them. "Let me do it."

Another smile spread across Lena's face. "Promise." She said as she gave Callie one more kiss before sending her off to class.

* * *

Lena spent the whole morning wishing she could call Stef and tell her what had happened. Callie had told her she loved her and referred to Stef as mom. She knew that Stef would be just as thrilled as she was but she knew it was better to let Callie do it herself. It would be as wonderful an experience for Stef as it was for herself. Mariana had already told them that Callie had referred to them as her moms once before but to actually hear Callie say it herself meant more than Lena ever imagined it would.

When Callie came in to check with Lena during break Lena was still grinning away and Callie got embarrassed, her cheeks turning a shade of pink as she looked down at her shoes. Lena rose and walked around her desk to Callie and raised her face until she could look into the girl's eyes.

"Don't be embarrassed sweetheart." Lena said. "We love you so much and we've been waiting for the day that you feel comfortable and safe enough to say it too. We don't mind that you call us Stef and Lena but we'd love for you to call us 'mom'."

Callie nodded and hugged Lena. "I do love you mama." Callie whispered, not letting go of Lena. "I have for a long time, even thought I never said it."

"We know sweetheart." Lena told her. "We just didn't want to push you."

When Callie finally let go they both had tears in their eyes but they were both smiling. Callie had crossed a major milestone and she had done it at her own time and that made it all the more special.

"I bet you mom is going to be the happiest person in the world when you actually call her mom. I can't wait to see it." Lena said smiling and Callie smiled shyly too. She couldn't wait either.


	21. Chapter 21

The excitement that both Callie and Lena felt through the day died a little as the three of them sat down to talk to Jude. They headed into Jude's room and found him sitting on his bed reading a book. Lena sat down on the chair at Jude's desk and Stef took a seat in the beanbag in front of the bed while Callie went to sit with Jude. They had decided that Callie would do all the talking and they would only interfere if they had to.

Stef was still unaware of the conversation Lena and Callie had had that morning but neither of them thought this was the right time for it anyways. Callie would share it with Stef when she was ready and right now the only thing on her mind was her brother.

Jude didn't take his eyes off his book. The fact that all three of them were here wasn't a good sign. He guessed it was to talk about what he knew and although he wanted some answers, he was afraid to confront Callie about it. All the bravado that he showed in front of Lena had disappeared now that Callie was in front of him.

"Hey buddy." Callie said, sitting down next to him

Jude didn't answer but instead continued to stare intently at his book. Callie gently pulled the book away from his hands. Right now she wasn't Callie - the teen, struggling with adjusting to her new life; right now she was Callie - the girl who did whatever needed to be done for the sake of her brother.

Jude finally looked up at her. His eyes filled with sadness and confusion but Callie could see specks of anger in there as well.

"Can we talk?" She asked cautiously, hoping that he would tell her how he was feeling.

"Why would you do it?" Jude asked, not beating around the bush.

"I..." Callie began but stopped. She didn't know what to say. Her whole life had been about protecting her little brother so how was she supposed to explain something like this to him? She looked over at Stef for some help.

Stef reached out a hand a squeezed Callie's knee supportively but didn't say a word. She knew that this had to come from Callie herself.

"I made a mistake Jude." Callie finally said. "I'm sorry. I just couldn't deal with all that was happening."

"How can it be a mistake Callie?" Jude asked. "You did it on purpose, more than once."

Callie sighed. How she wished her brother had never found out about any of this.

"I know." Callie admitted. "I was wrong, but I'm trying really hard to stop."

"It's not that hard." Jude stated. "Just don't do it."

Callie looked miserably at Jude. She wished it had been that easy all this time. She knew that she would never cut herself again, now that Jude had found out but promising that was not going to help. None of them really trusted her and none of them could see how determined she was just yet. Ironically the one thing she was most afraid of ended up being the thing that would eventually give her the strength to stop.

"I'm trying." Callie said instead. "I am trying I promise."

"Why would you do it at all?" Jude asked. He was still so confused about her choice of rebellion.

"I didn't mean to when it started." Callie told Jude. "It was an accident, or at least it was desperation."

"What do you mean?" Jude asked.

Callie looked for a way to explain how it started without bringing up Liam and what he had done to her. "I hurt myself accidentally and realized that it helped me feel better." She finally said, leaving out the details but telling him the truth.

"Because of Liam?" Jude asked innocently.

Callie nodded. "At first." She said. "But then it helped me deal with other things too."

"Like what?" Jude wanted to know.

Callie looked away. This was a part that she had never told anyone ever and she wasn't sure she wanted to share it now. But then again Jude was adopted, he belonged to someone now, a whole family who loved him and cared for him and would protect him and help him through this. Maybe it was time for Callie to let them in - time to let them all in.

"Like all the times I couldn't protect you." She finally told him honestly, unable to look any of them in the eye. She heard Lena gasp and felt Stef tense up in front of her but she still couldn't look up.

"What do you mean?" Jude asked, his voice going small as though trying to hold back tears.

"Whenever you got hurt or felt afraid and I couldn't help you." Callie explained. "When I got sent away to juvie and left you all alone in that house."

Stef and Lena listened intently but stayed quiet and still until Callie continued.

"When I got us kicked out of the Olmstead's." Callie continued her list.

At that both Stef and Lena reached out to stop her. She looked up at them and both of them shook their heads, silently reminding her yet again that it wasn't her fault. But she looked away because she believed that it was. Maybe he was at fault for raping her but she had encouraged the rest of the relationship which ultimately lead to the rape and in turn to being sent away from the house.

Stef once again placed a hand on Callie's leg, squeezing it, conveying love, understanding, support, all in one gesture.

"I don't blame you." Jude said, unaware of the silent conversation between his moms and sister.

"I know you don't." Callie said as tears filled her eyes. "But I do. I blame me." She admitted miserably, thinking of all the time that Jude was hit or punched or sent to bed hungry and Callie was powerless to help - not for the lack of trying, mind you.

They were all silent for a moment. Both siblings thinking about their past while both moms looked on, only able to imagine the horrors that they had lived through.

"What about all the times that you did protect me?" Jude finally asked looking up at Callie, his eyes filled with love. "I was young but I wasn't stupid, I know how many times you took the fall for me so that I wouldn't get hurt." His own eyes welled with tears as well as he looked away. "I would feel so guilty that you had to do that for me but I was too scared." He whispered.

"No Jude." Callie said, moving closer to him and hugging him. "I did it because I wanted to. Even if you had tried to stop me I would have done it." She tried to offer him some comfort.

Callie never imagined that Jude knew about any of this let alone felt guilty about it. Stef had been right, they needed to have this talk just like she needed to have her talk with Stef and just like Stef said she had needed it with Lena. Callie never imagined she'd reach the point where she'd talk about her feelings rather than try to hide them as deep as she could. Suddenly she realized that she was, in fact, getting better. All the things that she was going through and all the problems she was facing were just hurdles but one by one she was crossing them and suddenly her destination didn't seem so far away.

"Can I see them?" Jude asked after a while, pulling away from Callie.

It took a moment for Callie to realize that he was talking about her scars but she slowly turned her arm over so Jude could look at the now faded, almost nonexistent scars on her wrist. Only two scars actually showed even when you didn't look too closely - the first one she had ever done and the first one in this house - both significant firsts.

Jude studied the scars for a moment, lightly tracing his fingers over them, thinking about how she must have felt while making each one of them.

"I'll never do it again." She said softly to him as she watched him study her arm. "I promise you that."

Jude looked up at her. "I believe you." he said. "You never break a promise you make to me."

Stef and Lena's hearts broke at Jude's words. He had so much trust in his sister and it was solely because he had always given him a reason to trust her. For the first time they also found themselves trusting Callie's promise. They would still check her and watch out for her just because they all knew that sometimes even the most meaningful promises couldn't be kept, but still they had a feeling that Callie would keep this one.

"You know that if anything ever gets to be too much for you, you have people here that care right?" Callie told Jude, picturing him sitting there holding his knife like Lena had described. "Not just me but them too." She gestured towards their moms.

Jude nodded. He knew, he always knew, because unlike Callie, he had always had someone there.

"Please don't ever let things get to this point." She said, her voice full of emotion. "It's so hard to deal with. It's so much easier to talk about it right from the start."

"I won't." Jude promised. "I'll never do that. I promise you that."

Callie smiled at him, knowing that he was repeating her own words in an attempt to prove to her that he meant it.

Callie was still holding on to Jude so she looked over at her moms who both wasted no time joining the siblings on the bed wrapping their arms around the two of them, proud of both of them for being honest with each other.

* * *

After a while Stef and Callie left the room. Lena stayed behind just in case Jude needed to talk or had questions but Stef wanted to talk to Callie so the two of them headed to the master bedroom. She watched Callie climb into the bed without being asked, thinking of the struggles and arguments that happened when Stef had first suggested it all those months ago. She smiled at the progress they had made as she took a seat beside her daughter.

"Can you tell me about the first time." She asked softly. She knew that Callie had kept the details from Jude but she wanted to know them. She wanted to know whatever she possibly could about the girl that she had grown to love as much as her own children in such a short time.

"It was the day after Liam raped me." Callie said. Somehow talking and being honest didn't seem so difficult anymore - at least not at the moment. "I was making a sandwich for Jude and I kept seeing his fingerprints around my wrist. He had pinned them up over my head and held on so tight that they were still visible the next day. I was cutting the sandwich into pieces and before I knew what I was doing I used the knife to cut away the fingerprints. At first I was so freaked out but then as the pain became so intense that the rest of what I was feeling faded into the background and then it became a habit. I could actually see what was causing this pain rather than having it floating around inside me. This pain made sense." Callie explained as tears filled her eyes.

Stef could feel her own tears escaping as she reached out to hug Callie. She couldn't imagine going through something so traumatic and having no one to help. She hated that her girl had ever had to go through anything like that but she was so thankful that she had her now and could protect her for the rest of her life. She couldn't do much about Callie's past but she could help her deal with it and heal from it so that eventually over time she would be whole again.

* * *

Through the rest of the week Callie and Jude stuck by each other as though drawing strength from each other. For the first time it looked like Callie was leaning on Jude just as much as he was leaning on her. They never spoke about any of it again but still they stayed close, doing homework together, watching TV, just sitting together in silence.

Callie was by no means fine - though she no longer felt even the urge to hurt herself she was still struggling with eating. She still needed Stef beside her, holding her hand as she forced bite after bite of whatever meal into her mouth. She still needed that little bit of control over her own life and as a result she had some bad days and some good ones. Stef got angry with her a couple of times and Lena had her fair share of insisting Callie do the things that needed to be done including meals and check ups. She was still meeting Lena in her office every day during break and lunch and heading straight to her after school to be brought back home. But still things were pretty normal and basically drama free for a few days.


	22. Chapter 22

Things had changed for her lately. She was happier more often and she found herself thinking more and more of the normal things in her life like her mid-terms and what to do during her break after they were over and she mentioned this to Dr. Briggs when Lena took her in on Friday after school. Stef was working an extra two hours and didn't come with them and so Callie also mentioned how she told Lena that she loved her and called her mom but wasn't quite ready for that with Stef.

"How come?" Sarah asked.

"I don't know." Callie admitted looking to Lena. "With Lena it just sort of came out in the conversation but with Stef, I guess I'm sort of afraid."

"Afraid of what?" Sarah questioned.

Callie shrugged.

"Are you afraid she'll be angry or that she won't feel it back?" Sarah asked.

Callie shook her head. She wasn't sure what she was afraid of but knew it wasn't the fear of Stef rejecting her or not reciprocating the love because she already knew that Stef loved her. She just didn't know what was holding her back.

"Well how did Lena react when you told her?" Sarah asked glancing at Lena.

Callie smiled and Lena reached out her hand in encouragement. "She looked so happy and she hugged me and told me that she was waiting for the day when I felt comfortable enough to say it on my own."

"Did that make you feel good?" Sarah asked. "Making her happy?"

Callie nodded and Lena hugged her.

"Alright then for now let's not worry about Stef. She doesn't know anyways so there's no pressure for you to rush it. Whenever you're ready it'll happen, just like it did with Lena."

Callie thought about it for a moment, wondering when she'd be ready for that before Sarah continued.

"What about just talking to her?" Sarah asked. "Did you manage to tell her what you were really feeling?"

Callie nodded. "I told her the truth."

"That's good." Sarah said encouragingly. "That's a big step. Have you figured out ways to work around your fears?"

Callie shrugged. "They don't watch me as much any more but I still have to sit with them for meals."

"She's still struggling with that." Lena offered as she squeeze Callie's hand in reassurance. "But we're working on it."

"That's great." Sarah said to Lena. "What about you? Are you and Stef doing better?"

"Stef and I really worked out our problems." Lena said. "We talked and it was like you said, we didn't find a solution but just talking about it helped us realize how the other was feeling."

Sarah laughed lightly. "And they always grumble that us shrinks talk unnecessarily."

Lena and Callie laughed with her. "I realized that Stef was right, I always handed over the difficult parts to her for her to deal with and as a result she was always playing bad cop." Lena turned to Callie as she said it and playfully nudged her. "It wasn't fair to her and lately I've been trying to carry my own weight."

"How does that make you feel Callie?" Sarah asked.

"Like I now have two prison guards." Callie joked but then turned to Lena. "I'm sorry I tried to make you guys fight."

Lena smiled at Callie "Stef and Callie also talked and things seem to be going better there, though there are still some bumps in the road." Lena explained. "But for the most part Stef is also trying to work around Callie's needs." Lena looked to Callie for confirmation.

Callie nodded. "It's still so hard sometimes bug she sits with me while I eat and just holds my hand."

"That's alright." Sarah assured her. "As long as there is progress then it's fine."

"We did have one major issue that we had to deal with." Lena said, moving to the most serious topic of the week. "Jude found out about Callie's self harm and confronted us about it."

Sarah observed Callie as Lena explained her part of the conversations with Jude and watched as her face dropped.

"How did that make you feel Callie?" Sarah asked. "Knowing that your brother knows about you."

Callie was silent for a while but Sarah waited patiently and finally Callie looked up. "I hated it." She said. "I never wanted him to find out and when I realized that he knew I was so angry."

"Did you talk to him about it?" Sarah asked.

Callie and Lena both nodded. "We sat him down and Callie and Jude both explained how they were feeling and Callie admitted to why she did what she did." Lena explained. "They were both carrying around so much guilt and they finally shared it, even if they didn't let it go completely."

"A lot of the time we think that a problem is too big for us to handle or for someone else to handle and so we keep it inside. But when we actually say the words to describe it to someone else we realize that it's not such a major deal in the first place." Sarah explained. "When I told you and Stef to 'just talk, what's the big deal' you two would have looked at me like I was crazy but in the end isn't that just what you did?"

Lena smiled her agreement. "Pretty much."

"Callie do you feel a little better now that you have spoken to Jude?" Sarah asked her.

"A little, I guess." Callie admitted. "I know that no one believes me yet but I'll never hurt myself like that again. I promised Jude I wouldn't and now I know that I won't."

Sarah smiled as Lena slid closer to Callie and hugged her tight.

* * *

Finally the day of Brandon's gig arrived and the only thing that Callie couldn't shake was the anger she felt towards Mariana for laying all her problems onto Jude. Over the last week Callie and Mariana had gotten close - Mariana helped Callie overcome some of her fears just by being there and being a friend rather than a supervisor. But lately whenever Mariana tried to approach Callie, she would just brush her off, not wanting to spend time alone with her. She was too afraid that her anger would get the better of her and she'd lash out at Mariana. The last time that happened Callie had managed to upset the whole house, cause Lena to leave them all and have Stef almost give up on her. She couldn't risk that again so she figured it was better to just avoid the issue.

"Hey, come on." Mariana said as she tried to convince Callie. "We haven't done anything together since the movie on Wednesday and now it's Saturday."

"I'm busy Mariana." Callie said. "I have to study."

"We all have mid-terms Callie. This is the last weekend we're allowed to do anything until they are over so let's make the most of it." Mariana begged.

There were only two weeks left for mid-terms to start and Lena insisted that the last weekend before they began the kids all had to stay home so they could focus. With five kids and always some activity or issue to deal with it gave them all some down time to focus on what was important.

"Brandon's going to his gig and Jude's going for a sleepover. You and I can do a movie or go bowling or crash Brandon's party, whatever you want." Mariana tried again.

"No Mariana." Callie said, getting annoyed. "go bug Jesus to go with you, I don't want to."

Mariana huffed and walked out of the room to find her brother leaving Callie alone, wishing she had something to do that would get her out of the house tonight. Mariana and her invitation was the only offer she had and she knew her mom's wouldn't allow her to go anywhere by herself so she was basically stuck at home.

* * *

"Your curfew is twelve and not a second longer." Stef told Brandon as she was getting ready to head out to Allen's house to set up and practice a bit. "And please, please don't get drunk."

"I'll be fine mom I promise." Brandon said. "I'm there on a job remember - I'm not going to drink, I'd rather have the cash."

Stef nodded and Lena laughed. "She wouldn't rest if she didn't give you the lecture." She teased her wife.

"I won't rest until you're home either way." Stef corrected with a groan.

"Thanks for extending my curfew tonight mom." Brandon said as he kissed both moms before heading out.

"Good luck honey." Lena called after him.

"Remember back when they were little and in bed by eight?" Stef said, only half joking.

"I do." Lena smiled. "Back when we had three little ones demanding our attention all hours of the day and night leaving us with absolutely no time or energy for anything."

"Right..." Stef mumbled as Lena grabbed her car keys.

"Let's go Jude." She said look up to the top of the stairs. "Conner's expecting you, you don't want to be late."

"You got everything?" Stef asked as Jude came down with his over stuffed backpack on his back and a sleeping bag under an arm.

"Yeah." Jude said with a big smile on his face. He and Conner were going to spend the whole day together and then camp out in Conner's back yard in a tent with a fire and everything. They were going to toast marshmallows and make s'mores and tell ghost stories all night long.

"Have fun bud." Stef said as she kissed him and sent him out the door with Lena.

* * *

Stef climbed the stairs in search of the other three children. She knew that Jesus and Mariana were going to a movie later in the day and they had asked Callie to join them but she had refused. Stef found both girls in their room, Callie studying and Mariana playing on her phone.

"Hey you two." Stef said as she sat down on Mariana's bed, knowing that if she didn't pull the phone out of the girl's hand then her attention would never waver.

"Hi mom." Mariana groaned as her phone was taken away.

"What movie are you going to see?" Callie asked.

"Jesus wants to see 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles'." Mariana answered, sounding disgusted.

Stef smiled at the look on her daughter's face as Mariana continued.

"If Callie was coming with us then we could have out-voted him." Mariana said, actively blaming Callie for her misery.

"Sorry." Callie said flatly, giving no explanation for her lack of interest.

"Are you sure sweets?" Stef asked casually. "It might be nice to get out of the house for a while."

"I'm tired." Callie said and Stef let it go. She wasn't about to push Callie out the door if she wasn't ready.

"Okay love. You can spend the evening with mama and me." Stef smiled at her.

* * *

Three hours later Callie was sitting alone in her room. Mariana and Jesus had left for their movie over half an hour ago and Stef and Lena were in their room sorting through the laundry. Callie was feeling restless sitting alone but she didn't want to sit with her moms. They would ask her questions and try to figure out how she was doing. Instead she wished that she had gone to the movies with the twins - Stef had been right, a night out would have been good. Maybe she could go over to Allan's birthday. She was invited after all - their whole class was.

"Come on in love." Stef said as Callie knocked on their door.

"Everything alright?" Lena asked.

Callie nodded. "I was thinking that you were right." She told Stef. "I could do with some time out."

"Honey the movie will have already started by now." Stef told her.

"I know, I was thinking I could go to Allan's birthday party." Callie said.

Stef and Lena exchanged a look, both of them thinking the same thing - they weren't sending Callie to a party where there was bound to be alcohol and god knows what else and absolutely no supervision whatsoever.

"I'm sorry honey but that's not an option." Stef told her.

"Why not?" Callie said. "Technically I am invited."

"That's not the problem honey." Lena said gently. "We're just not comfortable sending you into something like that right now."

"Come on, please." Callie begged. "Brandon will be there, I'll be fine."

"I'm sorry love." Stef said apologetically, but her tone told Callie that they weren't going to budge. "But we can take you somewhere if you'd like."

"This is crap." Callie mumbled as she went back to her room.

Stef just stood there with a smirk on her face.

"Is it wrong that she's upset and I'm happy about it?" Stef asked.

"She's acting so... normal." Lena said. "Like any other teenage girl."

Stef nodded and kissed Lena lovingly. "We're getting there babe."

* * *

Callie stomped off into her own room, angry at her mom's for once again not trusting her. Logically she understood why they were reluctant to send her to a party but still she was mad. If she wasn't so angry with Mariana she would have gone for the movie with her but even that wasn't going to happen now.

But Callie hated sitting alone. Her moms were there but they didn't count - she wanted to be out like her siblings. She had already spent most of the evening studying so she couldn't even concentrate on that any more. Finally, getting too frustrated she decided that she was going to prove her mom's wrong - she would go to that party and show them that she'd be fine.

Less than five minutes later Callie was sneaking out the back door and out the back yard with her cellphone and a jacket, leaving a note on her pillow that read -

_Gone to the party._

_I'll be okay, I promise._

_Callie._


	23. Chapter 23

Stef and Lena finished sorting through all the kids clothes and folding them but before they headed to the various rooms to deposit them they just lay in bed talking. Though Stef was glad that Callie was beginning to show significant signs of progress she still felt guilty for not letting her go.

"Maybe we can take her out for ice-cream after dinner." Stef said.

"I doubt she'd want to go." Lena said. "She wouldn't want to eat more than necessary."

"Fine then we'll take her somewhere else." Stef tried to think of something.

"Honey, don't feel so guilty. We did the right thing." Lena tried to assure her wife.

"I just feel like lately all I do is say no to her." Stef said miserably. "She never asks for much."

"You know what I think she'd like, I think she'd love to snuggle up with you on the couch and watch a movie. Something funny that will make her laugh." Lena said gently.

"That's still home." Stef said. "I want to do something special."

"Honey, sitting cuddled up with you is special." Lena said affectionately. "Trust me, I know." She added playfully.

Stef laughed. Only Lena could make her laugh even though she was miserable.

"Tell you what, I'll go put these clothes in the kids rooms and make dinner. Why don't the two of you run to the store and pick out a movie."

Stef thought about it for a moment before handing Lena the basket of folded clothes. "Deal." She said and made her way out of the room to find her daughter.

* * *

Lena hadn't even made it out of their bedroom before she heard Stef yell out her name.

"LENA." Stef said again as they both made their way into the hall.

"What's wrong?" Lena asked.

"That girl..." Stef said, too angry to continue, so she just handed Lena the note.

"Oh no." Lena mumbled.

"Why does she always do this?" Stef said. "It's like she wants to make me mad."

Suddenly Stef's eyes went wide with worry.

"What's wrong?" Lena asked, noticing the change in her wife's expression.

"Sarah said that the time we need to worry is when she's trying to make us mad." Stef said, sort of in shock.

"What?" Lena asked confused.

But by then Stef was already grabbing her wallet and keys and heading down the stairs.

"Stef, what do you mean?" Lena asked as they backed out of the driveway.

"Sarah told me that Callie didn't want to hurt herself and the only time we should really worry was when she tried to make me mad at her." Stef explained.

"I don't think she'll do anything." Lena said, though she didn't sound a hundred percent sure herself.

"I hope you're right Lena but I'm not taking that chance." Stef said as she raced down the street, ignoring the speed limit.

"Call her." She instructed as she practically threw her phone at Lena.

Stef bit her lip anxiously as she waited for Lena to speak, indicating that Callie had answered but when Lena finally lowered the phone Stef banged her fist against the steering.

"Try again." She said. "Keep trying."

Lena continued to call Callie until they finally reached the street that Brandon had told them the house was on. From there is wasn't hard to find the house - it was littered with kids all around and loud music blasting from inside.

Stef pulled up outside the house and practically grabbed her phone from Lena.

* * *

Callie hadn't been at the party even twenty minutes when she felt her phone buzz in her pocket. She knew who was calling even before she pulled it out to look at the screen. Sure enough STEF flashed across the screen and Callie tentatively hovered her thumb over the 'decline' button. She didn't want to go home yet, she wasn't exactly having a good time but this was more about proving herself than having fun and so she decided to ignore the call, knowing that just a few seconds after it stopped it would start again.

And Callie was right, her phone buzzed non-stop about six or seven times before she received a text. She quickly brought the text up and read it

_Callie, we are right outside. You have exactly two minutes to get out here otherwise I'm coming in to get you. I'm sure your friends wouldn't take too kindly to your police officer mom raiding their party. Get out here now please._

Callie was sitting alone in an upstairs bedroom. She had watched Brandon play for a while but eventually needed some space and found her way up to what looked like the guest bedroom and so she walked over to the window and sure enough she saw Stef's black _Terrain_ parked right out front and Stef, impatiently drumming her fingers on the steering wheel, looking intently at the front door of the house.

Callie stood there as her two minutes slowly ticked away, waiting to see what Stef would do. But her decision quickly changed when she saw Stef finally unbuckle herself and open her door, ready to get out. Callie, quick as she could ran out the room and down the stairs, trying not to bang into the countless teens laughing and kissing all around her as she made her way to the front door. She definitely didn't want to be the reason that her 'police officer mom raided the party' as Stef had put it.

Stef had just reached the front door when it opened in front of her, Callie standing there looking at her, a mixture of fear and guilt written across her face. Stef was livid and Callie could see it in her eyes, but neither of them wanted a scene here so without a word Stef grabbed Callie by the arm and Callie let her lead her back to the car.

Stef shoved Callie into the back seat and then climbed into the driver's seat herself and pulled onto the road. None of them said anything for a few minutes until Callie finally broke the silence.

"I'm sorry." She said in a small voice.

"Yeah right." Stef said angrily and Lena gently placed a hand on her leg, helping her control her anger.

Callie felt tears well in her eyes. Once again she had made Stef angry and now all she wanted was to be close to her, feeling those protective arms around her, keeping her safe from the world she had grown to fear.

""Why would you go after we told you not to?" Lena asked, trying to understand and giving Callie a chance to explain herself.

"I just wanted to prove to you guys that I'd be okay. That you could trust me." Callie said softly.

"Doing something that we specifically told you not to do is no way to gain our trust Callie." Stef said sharply. Clearly she was not softened by Callie's confession.

"I'm sorry." Callie said again, unsure of what else to say.

The three were silent for a while and they were almost home before Callie spoke again.

"So what's going to happen now?" Callie asked.

Stef and Lena both looked at each other for a moment. Callie's consequence hadn't been discussed and this was too big a decision for either one of them to just decide. Stef was too angry to come up with a rational consequence and Lena wasn't willing to rock the boat.

"We'll decide that tomorrow." Stef finally said. "For now you're going to eat your dinner and head straight to bed."

Callie didn't argue and as they reached the house she got out of the car and headed straight to the kitchen as she was supposed to.

She sat down at the table as Stef went about getting a plate of food for her. Lena hadn't gotten around to making anything for dinner so Stef made Callie a turkey sandwich with lettuce and tomato and a glass of mixed fruit juice. She set it on the table in front of Callie wordlessly and sat down next to her.

Callie cautiously picked up a piece of her sandwich as Lena went about making two more. She knew that Stef was really too angry to eat but she also knew that if Lena put it in front of her then Stef would eat it, for Lena's sake.

Soon the three of them all had their sandwiches in front of them. None of them talking and only Lena really eating quickly. They watched as Callie took her fourth small bite and chewed slowly. She looked miserable and Lena wasn't sure if it was because she was being made to eat or because Stef was angry with her.

Lena looked across to Stef who was watching Callie like a hawk but the hard expression on her face was still there. Lena cleared her throat slightly causing Stef to look at her and once Lena had her attention she signaled for Stef to help Callie.

Stef knew what Lena was trying to do. She wanted Stef to hold Callie's hand and assure her that everything was fine, but the truth was that everything wasn't fine - Stef was so angry with Callie. She glanced back at the girl and noticed that she was almost done with the first half of her sandwich. She was obviously having a tough time but trying hard to do what she was told. Stef's resolve finally began to fade and she slowly reached across and grabbed a hold of Callie's free hand and squeezed tight.

The effect was instantaneous and they both watched Callie visibly relax. Lena gave Stef an approving smile as they all finished their dinner in silence.

* * *

"Should we check her tonight?" Stef asked. They were getting ready for bed, throwing the countless pillows onto the floor and pulling back the blanket.

Callie had finished eating and without a word headed up to her own room. When Stef and Lena went in a while later to say good night to her they found her already ready for bed, quietly reading a book. The twins had returned during dinner but had stuffed up on popcorn and hotdogs and weren't hungry and were now in their own beds as well.

"We'll do it tomorrow." Lena answered. "I don't think she did anything."

"I don't either." Stef admitted. "She even ate without a fuss."

"She feels bad for upsetting you." Lena said.

"I just don't get why she always has to push until I get angry before she does what she needs to do." Stef complained. "I'm so tired of it."

Lena walked around the bed and wrapped her arms around her wife. Sometimes Stef's tough exterior made Lena forget just how soft she was inside, especially when it came to the kids.

"This was different." She said. "She wasn't trying to make you mad."

"It was different." Stef agreed. "But I'm still mad."

"I know that honey." Lena said. "I can see that."

"I was worried." Stef admitted. "I know we're supposed to trust her but that party was full of booze and shots and god knows what else and I was so afraid that if Callie started any of that then all her progress would be erased."

"I know." Lena said. "I felt it too."

"So what do we do?" Stef asked, referring to Callie's consequence.

"Not whatever you're thinking." Lena said lightheartedly.

Stef smiled down at her wife. "You don't even know what I'm thinking." She said.

"If it lasts longer than two weeks then it's out." Lena said

Stef groaned in mock annoyance. "So grounding her till she's thirty isn't going to work?" She asked.

Lena laughed. "How about two weeks with no T.V.?" Lena asked.

"Fine." Stef said, pretending to settle.

* * *

The two continued to just talk for another hour, snuggled together for another hour or so when Stef noticed movement from under their bedroom door. She watched as a figure fidgeted for a while before receding slowly.

"You can come in Callie." Stef said kindly, before the figure disappeared completely.

The figure stopped and stood still for a moment before Stef finally saw the door knob turn and the door open and there stood Callie looking nervous.

"Need something honey?" Lena asked.

Callie looked like she wanted to say something but didn't know how to so she looked down at her hands, wringing them together.

"Sweetheart." Stef said lovingly, encouraging Callie to say whatever it was she came to say.

Callie looked up at Stef when she spoke, obviously trying to hold back tears. "Can I maybe..." She began but stopped, gathering courage before she continued. "...can I sleep with you tonight?"

Stef and Lena watched as Callie waited anxiously for their answer. Callie had slept in their bed more times than they could count in the last three months but this was the first time that she ever asked for it herself. It was something that Stef could finally say yes to and she was more than willing to do so.

"Of course love." She said she moved away from Lena, giving Callie room to get in. "Come on in."

The relief on Callie's face was obvious as she crawled into the bed and willingly curled into Stef's open arms.

"I love you Callie." Stef said as she pulled Callie close and kissed her head. "Even when I'm angry with you I still love you. You know that yes?"

Callie nodded. "I know. I love you too mom." She said snuggling closer to her.

Stef's eyes filled with tears as she squeezed Callie as hard as she could. Her eyes met Lena's and Lena smiled lovingly at the sight before her as she turned out the lights.


	24. Chapter 24

The next morning Stef woke to fidgeting beside her. With her eyes still closed she reached for Callie and pulled her right up against her and planted kiss after kiss on the side of Callie's face.

"Um..." Callie said as she squirmed. "I'm Callie, not Lena." She said uncomfortably, wondering if Stef had forgotten she was there.

Stef finally opened her eyes as she and Lena both began laughing.

"I know that honey." Stef said smiling down at her daughter. "If you were Lena I would have done this." She said as she reached across Callie and kissed Lena passionately on the lips, knowing full well how much it embarrassed all the kids when they kissed like that in front of them.

"Gross." Callie mumbled as Stef and Lena continued to laugh. Lena pulled away from Stef, slightly embarrassed but she had to admit, the look on Callie's face was priceless.

Both moms bent to kiss Callie before Lena got up. "Okay I'm going to shower, you two snuggle for a while longer and then it's time to get up."

"As Lena grabbed some clothes to take to the bathroom with her Callie turned to Stef. "So am I still in trouble?" She asked sweetly, hoping that after last night her moms would have forgiven her.

"You bet your sweet a..." Stef began but was cut off.

"STEF." Lena said reproachfully extracting a grin from the two still in bed.

"Grounded, two weeks, no T.V." Stef said, answering Callie's question.

Callie groaned but buried her head into Stef's side and casually threw an arm around her waist. Lena smiled as she headed into the bathroom for a shower.

* * *

When she got out the bed was empty and made. She made her way downstairs and found Stef and Callie at the kitchen table, Stef drinking a cup of coffee and Callie eating a bowl of cereal.

"Hi love." Stef smiled.

"What are you two doing down here so early?" Lena asked as she stole Stef's mug right out of her hands. "I thought you'd both go back to sleep by the time I got out."

Stef looked at Callie before answering. "We decided to get breakfast over with before everyone else woke up." Stef explained, not actually saying that she wanted Callie to eat before her check-up.

"Well I'll join you." Lena smiled at Callie as she grabbed herself a bowl and spoon and poured herself some cereal and milk.

"So are we going to have a lazy Sunday today?" Stef asked her wife.

"I think so." Lena said. "The kids all have plans, being that it's the last weekend they are free so it should be pretty peaceful around here."

"What are the kids doing?" Stef asked. Lena was always the one who kept track of their activities because it was usually her that refereed between them.

"The twins are hanging out with Matt and Hayley and Brandon is going over to Aiden's and Jude isn't coming home from Conner's until the evening." Lena answered.

"Looks like it's just us kid." Stef said good-naturedly to Callie.

But Callie didn't look happy at the thought. She wanted to do something with her siblings. She was so fed up of sitting home with her moms. Now they weren't hovering over her but she was grounded which basically amounted to the same thing.

"You wanna pick something to do?" Lena asked kindly, offering the girl a chance to decide.

"I'll just study." Callie said.

Stef raised her eyebrow. "You said that last night too."

"I know, but I mean it today." Callie answered.

Stef and Lena both smiled at her.

"I hadn't planned on going last night either." Callie said, not looking up from her cereal.

"Then why did you?" Lena asked.

"I just wanted to show you that I'd be okay." Callie said. "I guess I wanted to show myself too."

"You do understand why we said no, yes?" Stef asked her.

Callie shrugged. "I guess." She answered.

"We know that you're still having a hard time sometimes and we just didn't want the added pressure of drinking or smoking or anything else to push you back." Stef explained.

"I know." Callie said. "And I didn't do any of that I promise."

"We know love." Stef said. "We just didn't want you in that position in the first place."

"I'm sorry I snuck out." Callie said. "I've never done anything like that before."

Both Stef and Lena raised their eyebrows.

"I'm not coining running away." Callie clarified. "I wasn't running away last night."

"We know." Lena said. "And we are very thankful for that."

* * *

After breakfast Stef and Callie headed back upstairs to shower while Lena began making breakfast for the rest of the kids who would soon be up and about. She was still thinking about the events of last night and this morning when Mariana walked into the kitchen, rubbing her sleepy eyes.

"Where's Callie?" Mariana asked in confusion.

"Good morning baby." Lena said. "She slept in our room last night."

Mariana's eyes went wide with worry. "Why?" She asked.

Lena smiled at her daughter. "She's fine, she just didn't want to be alone."

"Oh." Mariana said confused. She figured the last thing that Callie would want would be to hang out with their moms any longer. "I was gonna ask her if she wanted to come to the mall with us today."

"That's nice of you." Lena said, glad that her kids were bonding so well. "But actually Callie is grounded."

"I thought you said she was fine." Mariana asked in confusion.

"She is fine." Lena assured her daughter. "But she got into some trouble last night."

"Trouble?" Mariana asked, wondering if it was code for hurting herself.

"She snuck out and went to Allan's party." Lena explained.

"She WHAT?" Mariana asked in shock. Callie was the last person she imagined would do such a thing. "I can't believe it."

Lena smiled. "Neither could we." She said.

"Mom must have been so mad." Mariana said, picturing Stef's face when she realized that Callie was missing.

Lena laughed. "And how." She said, extracting a grin from her daughter.

She placed a waffle down in front of her daughter as she planted a kiss on her head. "What time are you going to the mall with Matt?" She asked.

"Early evening." Mariana said.

"Then how about we do a movie this afternoon. It's just going to be us four so we can have a girl's afternoon, it will be nice for Callie."

"Okay." Mariana smiled enthusiastically. "Can Callie and I got get the movie at least? We'll go straight there and back."

Lena thought about it for a minute. "Okay." She finally said. "But straight there and back."

"Promise." Mariana said with a smile and she jumped off her stool and ran up the stairs to tell her sister.

* * *

After they were all showered and dressed Callie reluctantly left with Mariana for the video store.

"Isn't she supposed to be grounded?" Stef asked as she watched them walk out the door.

Lena looked guiltily at her wife. "I'm sorry, I should have talked to you about it first."

"It's fine love." Stef said as she kissed her wife. "It gives us a little time alone."

Stef reached for Lena's hand and pulled her out of the kitchen and up the stairs to their bedroom.

"What are we doing?" Lena asked.

Stef gave her a suggestive look. "What do you think?" She asked as she pushed Lena down onto the bed and crawled on top of her.

Stef began to kiss Lena all over her face staring from her forehead and ending with her lips. "I've missed this." She said blissfully.

"Me too." Lena said as she wrapped her arms around Stef to pull her closer.

Stef slowly lifted the hem of Lena's shirt up slightly, exposing the slight bump that was now visible. She gently placed a hand over their baby. "Do you have any idea how beautiful you look?" Stef asked.

Lena giggled but her eyes sparkled. "I can't wait for this baby to get here." She said as she stroked her own hand over her stomach.

"Me either." Stef said.

"I can't wait to experience it all." Lena admitted. "Even the childbirth and the sleepless nights and dirty diapers."

Stef laughed. "Wait till it actually starts." She teased.

"The things I'm waiting for the most are breastfeeding and having a baby fall asleep in my arms." Lena said.

"Um..." Stef said smiling, remembering those days.

"What's it like?" Lena asked.

"Breastfeeding?" Stef asked.

Lena nodded.

Stef thought about it for a moment. "It's the most satisfying feeling ever." She said. "Knowing that you're giving your baby exactly what it needs."

"But what does it feel like, physically?" Lena clarified.

"Sort of a pull." Stef tried to explain. "It can hurt if they haven't latched on correctly but eventually you get used to it."

"How do I know if it's right?" Lena asked, completely intrigued.

"You'll know." Stef said. "You'll feel it."

"I can't wait." Lena said.

"I can't either." Stef said and Lena looked at her quizzically.

"Mike used to say that it was the most erotic thing watching me feed Brandon." Stef explained. "I can't wait to watch you do it."

Lena smiled. "Will it make me completely aroused?" She asked, slightly embarrassed.

"Actually, no." Stef answered. "It tends to do the opposite actually."

The look of disappointment on Lena's face made Stef laugh. "Don't worry babe, you'll be so exhausted that you wouldn't want it even if you did feel like it."

But Lena didn't look amused.

"But we aren't there yet." Stef said suggestively as she began pulling Lena's shirt higher exposing her black bra.

Lena moaned as Stef began to do things to her that still drove her crazy even after all these years. They finally had a good thirty minutes to themselves and Stef was going to take full advantage.


	25. Chapter 25

"How about Shrek?" Mariana asked. "We could get all four movies and have a marathon."

"Whatever." Callie mumbled the same reply to every suggestion that Mariana made.

"You got a suggestion?" Mariana asked. "What are you in the mood for."

"I don't care." Callie said, walking down the isle away from Mariana.

"Is something wrong?" Mariana asked, worried about her sister's attitude. She contemplated calling her mom's but decided to try and figure it out herself.

"I'm fine." Callie snapped. "Just pick a damn movie so we can go home."

Mariana stood, shocked as she watched Callie head for the door of the video store.

"Wait!" Mariana called after her as she followed her. "What's the matter?" She asked, grabbing Callie's arm in an attempt to stop her.

"Just leave me alone Mariana." Callie said, pulling her arm away.

"I can't Callie." Mariana said sadly.

"What?" Callie asked.

"I promised mama that I'd stay with you and bring you right back home." Mariana answered honestly.

"Great, so you're my babysitter." Callie said coldly. "And who's watching you huh? Who's making sure that you don't cause trouble?"

"What are you talking about?" Mariana asked confused.

"You told Jude that I was hurting myself." Callie finally let go of her anger. "You told him something that I've spent years and years trying to protect him from."

Mariana looked miserable. She knew that her moms and Callie had spoken to Jude about it but she never imagined that Callie would be so mad at her for it.

"I'm sorry." Mariana said softly. "He asked me to tell him the truth, I couldn't lie."

"Why not?" Callie asked in anger. "You've had plenty of practice, selling Jesus' pills, lying about seeing your mom and what about nearly getting Stef killed? You had no trouble lying all those times."

Mariana looked like she was about to cry. "I'm sorry." She said again. "He was so upset and he knew that something was wrong and that no one was giving him any straight answers."

"There was a reason for that." Callie snapped at her. "We didn't give him the answers because we didn't want him to know."

"Okay, I'm sorry." Mariana said for the third time, hoping that Callie would understand. "I made a mistake."

"You had no right." Callie said, ignoring Mariana's apology.

"Why not?" Mariana asked, getting tired of defending herself. "He's my brother."

Callie looked at Mariana, her eyes cold and filled with rage. "Are you saying that he's no longer my brother because he got adopted and I didn't?" She asked in a low, deep voice.

Mariana's eyes widened. "No Callie." She said, not realizing that Callie would ever think like that. "I just meant that he's my brother too."

"Well we all see how you treat your brothers." Callie said. "You throw them under the bus."

"What?" Mariana asked, knowing that Callie was about to bring up yet another mistake she made in her past.

"You let Jesus take the fall for you selling his pills." Callie reminded her. "Now you're putting ideas into Jude's head that should never have crossed his mind."

Mariana looked scared at Callie's statement. "Did he try to do something?" She asked worriedly.

"Not yet." Callie said. "But who knows."

"Callie I'm sorry." Mariana said again. "I wasn't trying to hurt anyone. I just wanted to help."

"Well stop helping Mariana." Callie said. "It's really not that helpful."

"I was trying to be his big sister." Mariana said. "Just like you."

"He doesn't need another sister." Callie said. "He has me. He will always have me, even if I never get adopted."

Callie turned around and walked away leaving Mariana standing on the sidewalk, tears in her eyes.

* * *

It took a few minutes but once Mariana calmed down sufficiently she scanned the area looking for her sister. Whatever happened between them she was still worried about Callie and when she didn't see her anywhere she pulled out her phone and called her mom.

"Hi love." Stef said sounding a little distracted. "You on your way home?"

"Mom, Callie's gone." She answered in a soft voice.

"What?" Stef said, her attention now completely on her daughter.

"We sorta had a fight and she took off." Mariana explained. "She may be just heading home but I'm walking that way and can't see her anywhere."

"Okay Love I'm coming to get you." Stef said. "I'll see if I can find her on the way."

"What happened?" Lena asked when Stef hung up. She watched her wife buttoned up her shirt and grab her keys.

"Mariana and Callie had a fight and Callie took off." Stef explained. "I'm going to get Mariana and see if I can find Callie."

"I'm coming with you." Lena said as she began to get dressed herself.

"No love." Stef said. "You stay here just in case she comes home. I don't want her coming to an empty house."

Lena nodded, knowing that Stef was right. "Okay but please call me and let me know what's going on."

"I will love." Stef promised before heading out the door.

* * *

Stef drove the short distance towards the video store, keeping her eyes peeled for Callie and Mariana. She finally found her younger daughter walking towards the house and stopped to pick her up, but there was no sign of her older one.

"I'm sorry mom." Mariana said as she climbed into the car, her eyes still filled with tears.

"What happened?" Stef asked.

"She got mad at me and took off." Mariana said. "I should have followed her but I was shocked for a minute and then I lost her."

"What was she mad at you?" Stef asked.

"Because I told Jude about what she was doing." Mariana answered.

Stef turned to her daughter. "So that's how he found out." She stated. "Why would you tell him?" She asked.

"I'm sorry." Mariana said, for what seemed like the hundredth time to her. "He came to me and asked me what was really wrong with Callie and begged me not to lie to him." Mariana said sadly.

"I wish you had come to us." Stef said. "We could have helped you all out."

"I'm sorry." Mariana said, yet again. "Will she be okay?" She asked sounding worried. "I've been trying to call her but she won't answer."

"I've been trying too." Stef replied, still scanning the streets for her daughter.

"I should have followed her immediately." Mariana chastised herself. "I was just so hurt."

"Hurt?" Stef asked, scanning her daughter for any injuries.

"She just said some stuff." Mariana explained. "She probably didn't mean it." She wasn't trying to get her sister into any more trouble than she was already going to be in.

"What did she say?" Stef inquired.

"It's not important really." Mariana said. "She was just angry, she didn't mean it."

Stef sighed. "Enough with the secrets please Mariana." She said.

"She said that Jude didn't need another sister and that he'd always have her no matter what happened to her and that I wasn't a good sister anyways because of all the bad things that I've done." Mariana answered as a fresh batch of tears trickled down her face.

Stef reached her hand out and grabbed Mariana's. "Honey all that is in the past. It's over and done with and no one holds it against you."

"But she's right." Mariana whispered. "You almost died because of me."

Stef pulled the car over so she could concentrate on her daughter. "Honey, I'm your mom and no matter how many mistakes you make or how much trouble you cause I will always come for you and I will always, always love you." Stef said. "We all make mistakes and going into that house without the proper equipment and backup was my mistake not yours."

Mariana looked at her mother wondering how she had ever gotten so lucky.

"Honey, Callie is having a really hard time right now and she's struggling to get better but part of that struggle is making her push people away and she's trying to hurt them like she's hurting. You can't let that get to you baby." Stef said. "I'm not saying that she's right and she's definitely going to hear about it but you can't believe anything she said even for a second. You are a wonderful sister and daughter."

Stef leaned over and pulled Mariana into a tight hug. "I love you so much baby and don't you ever forget that."

"I love you too mom." Mariana said, hugging Stef back.

Just as Stef was about to continue their search her phone began to ring.

"Lena?" Stef said as she answered.

"She came home." Lena said. "She's pretty angry though."

"Okay we're on our way." Stef said as she nodded to Mariana, informing the girl that her sister was home. "Have you checked her?"

"I'm waiting for you." Lena said.

Stef could hear the desperation in Lena's voice. Ever since their fight Lena had been trying to be a more stern parent and carry some of the weight but it was obvious that this time she needed Stef to be the strong one.

"That's fine love." Stef reassured her. "I'll be there soon."


	26. Chapter 26

Lena hung up the phone and turned to Callie who was sitting on the couch staring angrily into space.

"Want to tell me what happened?" Lena asked softly as she took a seat next to Callie.

"No." Callie said, not looking at Lena. Whatever happened she wouldn't say anything to Lena that might upset her. It was better to just avoid her.

"Honey," Lena said reaching out for Callie. "Please talk to me."

"Nothing happened." Callie said. "We just had a fight."

"About what?" Lena asked.

"We couldn't agree on a movie." Callie answered.

Lena knew that Callie was lying but she had no idea what the real reason for their argument was. "Did you try to do something?" She asked cautiously.

Callie gave a sarcastic laugh. "That's all you think right?" She said shaking her head. "I already promised you that I wouldn't do it again. I even promised Jude that I'd never do it again, and I haven't but that's not enough for you. It'll never be enough for you."

Callie got up to leave before she became too angry and said something hurtful to Lena but Lena stopped her.

"I'm sorry." She said as she tried to get Callie to sit down again. "I'm just worried and Mariana promised that she'd call us if it ever happened again."

"God nothing happened." Callie said angrily. "I'll prove it to you." She said as she pulled her top off and unbuttoned her jeans, kicking them off. She spun around in front of Lena. "See, nothing." Then she grabbed her clothes and quickly pulled them on before bounding up the stairs and to her room, slamming the door behind her.

Lena leaned against the back of the couch in exhaustion. She couldn't figure out what was happening to Callie but still she felt relief that all the changes seemed to be for the better. Yes, Callie had snuck out of the house and disobeyed them and fought with her sister and said some hurtful things and even walked away; but in all that she hadn't hurt herself or run off or anything else that she would usually do. She was acting out but she was acting out in ways that any typical teenager would. As upset as Lena was, she was still thrilled at the progress that Callie was making.

* * *

When Stef and Mariana got home the first thing they asked was where Callie was, just as Lena had expected.

"She's upstairs." Lena said.

She stopped Stef when she saw her heading up to their daughter. "She hasn't hurt herself." She said.

Stef raised an eyebrow to her wife. She knew that Lena hated that part especially after the time she was forced to do it in school.

"She showed me herself." Lena explained. "Can we just talk for a minute."

Stef sat down and Lena motioned for Mariana to do the same.

"What happened?" Lena asked Mariana and Mariana explained the whole situation to her.

"I'm sorry I told Jude." She finally said, after she had related the story. "I thought I was doing the right thing."

"I don't know how many time I have to tell you to just come to us when somethings wrong." Lena said. "We are always there for you kids and we have never given you any reason to doubt us."

Mariana looked guiltily back at her. "I know and I'm sorry, it's just that..." She said but paused. "...It's just that Jude was right, we were all lying to him and I could see how upset he was and I thought that if I was so scared for Callie then how much more scared would he be."

Lena walked over to Mariana then and gave her a tight squeeze. "How could anyone think you were a bad sister?" She asked as she kissed Mariana on the head.

"I'm sorry for not coming to you." Mariana said.

"You already apologized for that baby." Lena said. "It's over now, we've forgiven you."

"No," Mariana stopped her. "Not just about this but all of it - Ana, the pills, Callie hurting herself. I should have come to you each time."

"Sweetheart, all that is over now and we don't even think about it any more." Stef said, moving her own chair closer to her daughter. "We know you are sorry and we know that if you had any idea how things would have turned out you wouldn't have done it. But everything is fine now so please stop thinking about it. We have forgiven you and now you need to forgive yourself too."

Mariana looked from one mom to the other before she nodded slightly as she wiped away her tears.

"I love you guys so much." She said, hugging both moms at the same time.

"We love you too baby." Stef said. "We will always love you."

* * *

Stef and Lena waited fifteen minutes until Mariana left to meet Matt before they headed upstairs to Callie.

"Hi love." Stef said, opening the door to find Callie lying facedown on her bed.

The pair sat down on Callie bed, Lena stroking Callie's head while Stef rubbed her hand up and down her back.

"Can you sit up for us please." Stef said and waited as Callie sat up and crossed her legs, never making eye contact with either one of them.

"Okay so we've heard Mariana's side of this. Do you want to share yours?" Stef asked. Years of being a cop had taught her to give everyone a chance to give their version of the story before dealing with the situation.

But Callie shook her head. "I have nothing to say." She said softly.

"Sweetheart we know you were upset that Mariana told Jude about your cutting yourself." Lena said, hoping that it would get the girl to open up.

"I'm sure she's already told you everything anyways." Callie said. There was nothing more for her to add.

"Well when you found out that Mariana was the one that told Jude why didn't you tell us?" Stef asked her. "We could have all dealt with Mariana together."

Callie looked up at Stef for a moment before looking away again. "I didn't know until we were at the store." She lied.

"I don't think that's true." Stef said. "Mariana told me that you've seemed upset with her since yesterday."

Callie just shrugged.

"When did you find out?" Lena asked.

"Thursday." Callie answered. "Jude lied to me about his project with Conner, the truth was that he knew what I had done and Mariana kept telling me that Jude was worried about so, so I figured it out."

"You should have come to us right away." Stef said.

"I'm sorry." Callie said biting her lip. She wanted to argue that even though Mariana was now technically Jude's brother it was still different. She had spent her whole life trying to protect him and not even Stef and Lena could be as close to him as she was because of it. But she kept quiet, she was still too afraid to voice those kinds of feelings.

Stef watched Callie chew her bottom lip, knowing that the girl had something more to say but was keeping herself from saying it. What she couldn't figure out was why Callie was keeping quiet.

"I know you have something to say Callie." Stef said. "Come on, out with it."

Callie looked up at Stef sheepishly, proving that Stef had been right.

"Don't be scared. You're safe in this house." Stef said, soften her voice so Callie wouldn't feel afraid to share her feelings.

"I just don't want to say anything bad." Callie finally admitted, not looking up from her hands.

"Bad?" Stef asked.

"The last time I said something Lena left us and everyone was mad at me." Callie whispered. "I just wanted to keep things to myself this time."

Lena gasped at the admission. "Honey," She said as she moved closer to Callie and turned her face so that Callie was looking right at her. "I didn't leave you." She emphasized. "I would never leave you. I just needed some space that's all."

"You never have to hide how you feel Callie. No matter how bad you think it is, you can always come to us about it." Stef said. "What you can't do is keep trying to hurt people and push them away, that's not fair."

"She had no right to say anything to Jude." Callie argued. "I'm his sister."

"Well I'm going to tell you, just like I told Mariana, that it was not her place to share that information with Jude." Stef said, her voice growing stern. "But, like I also told her, it was not for the reasons that you said. Mariana is his sister and she did what she thought was right for her brother. The reason that she shouldn't have told Jude was because it wasn't for her to tell. She should have come to us, just like you should have come to us."

Once again Callie looked down at her hands. Stef was right - Jude was Mariana's brother. She didn't really mind that part. What she hated was that she wasn't Mariana's sister which meant that Jude wasn't her brother anymore either, at least not legally. He was an Adams Foster now like the rest of them.

Stef could practically read Callie's thoughts. Over the months she had learned the way the Callie thought and how she felt and she was pretty good at figuring out when Callie was trying to hide something from them.

"Say it." Stef said as she watched Callie process her thoughts. "Say what's going through your mind."

From Stef's tone Callie know that Stef was on to her and so there was no point in lying or trying to cover it up. "I'm not really his sister anymore." She said softly, tears filling her eyes the moment she voiced her fears.

"Because you're not adopted." Stef stated and Callie nodded. She realized that since her lecture about how she was a part of this family just as much as Jude was her brother completely Callie hadn't mentioned being an outsider even once. Stef was sure that she didn't fully believe it yet but still, she was no longer using it to hold them at arms length.

"Honey you will always be his sister." Lena said. "No matter who has what name and what it says on any birth certificate, you will always be his sister. For years all the kids had Mom's name but that didn't make them any less my kids too." She explained.

They were all silent for a moment as they all thought about what Lena said.

"Sweetheart, when you love someone nothing else matters." Lena continued. "It's not important what sex they are or what color they are or whether you share the same blood or name or home or anything else. If you love someone and you do whatever you possibly can for them then they are your family. When Stef and I weren't married we were still a family and now her and Mike aren't married but he is still a part of this family and not just to Brandon, he's a part of Stef's family and my family and any one else's family as well. He's there for us when we need him and when he needed us during his trial we were there for him. That's what matters honey. Not the other stuff."

"Mama's right." Stef said. "Sometime all those things that usually make up a family aren't even enough. Look at my father and me - he couldn't accept who I was and who I loved and we were the dictionary definition of family."

"He was just all I had." Callie said, sobbing.

"He was all you had love." Stef agreed. "But you still have him and along with that you now have all of us too. We aren't going anywhere and neither are you, no matter how hard you try to push us away and how much you try to hurt us, we are still here. I don't know how else to prove to you that we love you unconditionally."

Callie didn't respond. Stef was right, no matter what she did they were always there. What more did she want? This was more than she had ever dreamed of. All she ever really wished for were people who wouldn't hurt them and would feed them and just let them be but here she had so much more - she had love and support and understanding and she had people who cared and worried and went out of their way to do nice things for them. Why was it so hard for her to just accept it. Jude had accepted it and he had started long before he was actually adopted so why couldn't she?

* * *

Callie was already grounded for two weeks with no T.V. and now added to that she was also given a list of chores to do around the house. Most of them were mild like dish duty and laundry duty all week but a couple were a little harder - one was that Callie had to bring up all this at her next therapy session the next day and come up with more productive ways to deal with her feelings when they got too much for her and second, she had to spend a couple of hours with her moms everyday, talking about various things and while this in itself wasn't exactly a punishment she knew that they were going to drill her and dig through her feelings until they reached the very bottom and she had nothing left to hide.

All this was so new to Callie that it still overwhelmed her but she really tried hard to work with them and she could see a change in them as well. They were giving her more freedom. She was no longer required to meet Lena during break and lunch but since she was grounded she was still to head straight to her office after school. If things continued on this track for the next two weeks until her punishment was over then that would stop as well and Callie couldn't wait for that day.

* * *

Callie was busy studying later that evening when Jude came up to the room, calling her down for dinner. Callie reluctantly headed down to the kitchen to find her whole family already there. It wasn't often that everyone was in for dinner and after today Callie wished that today was one of those days - but just her luck it was a full house.

Callie took her place besides Stef as had become routine lately but for the first time she didn't reach under the table and grab her hand, instead she reached reached for her spoon and began eating the risotto that had been put in front of her. Callie found meals a lot easier on some days than on others and usually they were the days when it was just her and her moms but after today she wanted to show them all that she was trying and so she did what all the others were doing, she finished her food with no drama though she took a little longer than the others and then surprised everyone by grabbing a yogurt from the fridge and eating that as well.

* * *

Everyone noticed the effort that Callie was making but none of them commented on it - they all knew that it was hard for her and that drawing too much attention to it would make her uncomfortable so instead they all grabbed a little something extra so that she wasn't left eating alone.

Callie looked around the table at her family - each of them eating a yogurt or a fruit or just more dinner to keep her company and she smiled at them. Her eyes locked with Mariana for a moment and both sets of eyes were filled with remorse for the things they had done that hurt the other. Callie began to realize that this was what family was all about - making mistakes was inevitable - forgiving them was the part that mattered.


	27. Chapter 27

**REPOSTED - The site seemed to have deleted it the first time.**

* * *

Monday morning was another difficult day for Callie where breakfast was concerned and Stef and Lena began to see a pattern - bad days were days when she didn't want something to happen like her check ups or days when she had her therapy appointment. Though Callie was doing a lot better with Sarah as well as in general, she still thought of therapy as some sort of punishment and a sign of being weak and crazy.

But still there was significant improvement. Callie wasn't hurting herself and though she had bad days food-wise she still made an effort to eat something at each meal. Lunch at school was the only meal she seemed to skip but they made up for it by making her eat as soon as they got home.

The rest of the time Callie focused on her school work. There was only one more week till midterms and after missing almost two weeks of school she was afraid that she wouldn't catch up so she threw herself into schoolwork and that not only helped her study but was also a welcome distraction from all the dark thoughts that frequently filled her mind.

* * *

After school on Monday Stef drove Callie to her appointment while Lena drove the other kids home. As Stef watched Callie she could see the dark cloud that hovered over Callie as they neared the doctor's office.

"Honey what's wrong?" Stef asked.

"I don't want to go." Callie said.

"Why not?" Stef questioned.

"I just don't." Callie said, looking out the window.

"There had to be a reason." Stef stated. "You need to talk about it."

Callie remained silent. She didn't want to go because she was sick and tried of being a freak. She was fed up of trying to figure out how she was feeling every second of every day and she was done with being different. But she knew her mom's wouldn't be thrilled at hearing any of that.

"We have a deal Callie." Stef reminded her. "You tell us when something big's going through your mind."

"It's not big." Callie said.

"If it's changed your mood this much then it must be." Stef said and Callie sighed.

"I'm just tired." She finally said. "I'm tired of trying to get better. It's harder than I thought."

* * *

"What part is so hard?" Sarah asked fifteen minutes later. Stef had related their conversation in the car and now they were in the process of figuring out how to help Callie deal with her new feelings.

"All of it." Callie said. "Trying all the time and being watched. It's like being under a microscope."

"Your moms?" Sarah asked, as if they weren't sitting right there with them.

"And my brothers and sister, the kids at school, the teachers, you." Callie listed. "It's like they are always watching me, like I'm some caged animal in a zoo or something."

"Your mom's said that they've cut down on your check ups and that you sleep in your own bed every night now." Sarah said.

"Yeah, but I'm grounded." Callie said. "So they're still always around."

"Sweetheart you are not grounded because you hurt yourself or because you need help." Stef said. "You're grounded because you snuck out of the house to go to a party we specifically told you not to go to."

"Are you staying by their side the whole time you're home?" Sarah asked and Callie shook her head.

"So you're just basically in the house, they aren't actually watching you?" Sarah clarified.

"Just mealtimes." Callie said.

"So that's better than before right?" Sarah said and once again Callie nodded.

"Why do you think that they've stopped hovering?" Sarah questioned.

"Because I don't hurt myself anymore." Callie answered easily.

"And what does that mean?" Sarah asked.

"That I don't cut myself." Callie explained, confused about the question.

Sarah smiled. "Yes, but it means that you are getting better." She said. "It means that all that hard work that you are putting in and that's making you feel so exhausted is actually paying off."

"She is doing a lot better." Stef agreed. "She's trying hard with everything. She doesn't hurt herself and she's eating more, even when she doesn't want to."

"She looked better." Sarah said. "She smiles now, which she never did at first. It's such a pretty smile and I'm glad I got to see it."

"That it is." Stef said. "We are so proud of her."

Callie smiled shyly but squirmed uncomfortably under all the praise and laughed as she pulled Calle close for a hug, giving her a squeeze.

"We are very proud of you baby." She said. "I know you thing that you're becoming weak and losing control but the truth is that you're so strong. You're strong enough to fight through something that's so hard for you. You just can't see it but it's there and we can see it clearly."

"You're mom's right." Sarah said. "It takes a lot more effort to get better than it does to just let things continue."

"I'm not all better." Callie said. "I had a fight with Mariana."

"About what?" Sarah asked.

"I was mad at her for telling Jude that I cut myself." She explained.

"And what did you do?" Sarah asked.

"I yelled at her and told her that she wasn't his sister." Callie said softly, looking guiltily at Stef. She knew how much her moms hated it whenever anyone was told that they weren't a part of the family.

"Mariana is a twin right?" Sarah confirmed.

Stef and Callie both nodded. "Her brother is Jesus." Stef said.

"And do they fight?" Sarah asked Callie.

"All the time." Callie said with a small smile.

"And have they ever said that they wished the other didn't exist or that they wished they weren't related?" Sarah asked.

Callie nodded slowly.

"Does that change the fact that they are, in fact, brother and sister?" Sarah asked.

"No." Callie said softly.

Sarah smiled. "All siblings fight, and they should."

"Oh great." Stef mumbled jokingly, receiving a grin from Callie. "She's right." She added. "Siblings do fight."

"I never fought with Jude." Callie said. "At least not like that. I'd get mad at him sometimes and he'd get mad at me, but it wasn't like that. We never said that we hated each other or that we wished they didn't exist."

"That's not a good thing." Sarah said, receiving an odd look from Callie. "It's not." She confirmed. "You and Jude didn't have a normal sister / brother relationship. You two only had each other so you'd never say you didn't love each other or wish that he didn't exist. You spent your time protecting him. You didn't fight like siblings because you weren't just his sister - you were his protector, you were like his mom for so many years and now even though you have two moms to take over you still find it hard to just go back to being just siblings."

Callie looked to Stef who nodded in agreement to everything that Sarah was saying.

"What you and Mariana have is just a normal sibling relationship." Sarah continued. "And though you fight and say mean things to each other sometimes, it's still a good thing - a very good thing."

* * *

When Stef and Callie got home Lena and Mariana were in the kitchen making dinner. Callie went straight to Mariana and hugged her. "I love you." She said to the startled girl. "I love you and I'm glad you're my sister."

Stef and Lena looked on with a smile. Lena turned to Stef with a questioning look, silently asking what had happened.

"She realized that fighting was part of being siblings." Stef whispered and Lena raised an eyebrow but smiled nonetheless.

* * *

As the days passed all the kids began to get anxious about the upcoming exams and Lena spent hours sitting with each one helping them out with areas they found difficult. It wasn't too hard since Callie and Brandon had the same work and so did the twins. At least she was able to work with them two at a time. Jude was the only one who needed her full concentration when it came to math. He was still struggling with that sometimes and though he had gotten a lot better, he tended to mix up formulas and strategies when it was all put together.

Stef, on the other hand, was making sure that all of them, including Lena, took some time away from their school work. She was the one reminding everyone to stop for lunch and dinner and to go outside for a while for some fresh air.

"Okay guys, it's five, let's all go out back and have some fun." Stef said, poking her head into the dining room where Lena was sitting surrounded by the kids - text books, notebooks and worksheets all around them.

"Mom's right guys." Lena said as she closed Mariana's textbook. "Let's take a break and we can continue for a while after dinner. She knew that they needed breaks as well - it helped them focus better and remember more.

Soon all seven of them were out in the back yard. Jesus and Jude were expelling some pent up energy - a much needed activity for them. Brandon and Callie were sitting under the tree with the guitar - Callie was getting so much better and lately she had been practicing more and more - another sign that she was on the mend and Mariana was sitting with her moms, just relaxing and enjoying the peace.

"So Miss. Thing." Stef said, playing with her daughter's ponytail. "How's Matt?"

"Okay I guess." Mariana said. "I hardly get to seem him except for lunch at school." She almost grumbled.

"But you're still up texting until late at night." Stef said with a straight face.

Stef and Lena watched as Mariana's eyes went wide at the realization that her moms knew what she was up to. They laughed at her and leaned over to kiss her on either side of her face.

"As long as you aren't falling asleep during the day it's fine." Lena said and watched Mariana visibly relax.

"He's nice to me." Mariana said softly. "He kinda makes me think about stuff."

"Like what?" Lena asked curiously.

"Well, he's the first one outside of you guys that questioned why I changed my hair." Mariana said.

"What did he say exactly?" Stef wondered, hoping that he hadn't hurt her feelings. As much as she wished that Mariana would go back to her natural hair she didn't want anyone making her feel bad about it.

"Just that I didn't need to be someone I'm not just to impress someone." Mariana said and both Stef and Lena smiled.

"But when we said that, you thought we were crazy." Stef teased. "I told you that you were beautiful just the way you are."

"You're my moms, you have to say that." Mariana said.

"Right." Stef said. "So there can't be any truth to it." She gave Mariana a sly look and pulled her hair gently.

The three turned their attention to the two younger boys, chasing each other around the tree as the sound of Callie's guitar filled the air.

* * *

Finally Monday morning was here and all the kids were up early, ready and down at breakfast with their noses in their books for the last bit of cramming. Stef had insisted that they stop studying early the night before and watch a movie before heading to bed early and it payed off because all the kids seemed relaxed and rested as they came downstairs. Both moms were anticipating a struggle from Callie about breakfast. Over the weekend she had grown more anxious than the rest about the upcoming exams - her greatest fear being that she would be held back and have an extra year at Anchor Beach.

As a result Lena made french toast in an attempt to make it a little easier on Callie. The moment Callie came down the steps Stef lead her into the living room.

"I know you're stressed right now and you'd prefer to skip breakfast but I need you to eat at least one french toast okay." Stef said.

Callie nodded and Stef smiled as she lead Callie back into the kitchen to join the others. Stef sat next to Callie and held her hand tight as Callie ate her breakfast. The room was eerily quiet considering there was seven of them but all of them were concentrating on their work.

Finally Stef sent them all off, saying that she'd handle cleanup. She watched as Lena and the kids headed off to school a little earlier than usual, wishing them all luck and kissing each one before they left.

* * *

Stef was done with the breakfast dishes and was getting her stuff ready to leave for work when her mind drifted to Callie. Both Stef and Lena had been extra cautious of Callie over the weekend - the stress had been getting to her and they wanted her to know that they were there if she needed them. They were only checking her twice a week now and had avoided the weekend to refrain from adding more stress for the girl. Though they were both starting to feel convinced that she was done with that part of her life. Ultimately it had been Jude who put a stop to it completely.

Callie's therapy sessions were only happening once a week now and usually held on Mondays but this Monday they had cancelled for the exams. But Callie was still made to sit with her moms for at least an hour each night just talking. Some days they talked about insignificant things like movies or books but other days they talking about more serious things. Callie told them a few stories of her previous foster homes and she told them what she remember of her mother. She even asked them questions about their pasts and was surprised to learn just how much Stef had struggled to get to where she was.

"I never realized that you had such a hard time too." Callie said softly.

"I wasn't truly myself until I met mama." Stef said, looking lovingly over at her wife. "She changed my life and I can't thank her enough."

"I can't imagine you with anyone but mama." Callie said, looking between her moms. "You guys just belong."

"We all belong." Stef said. "Mama isn't the only one who makes me who I am - all you kids are a big part of that too."

"Honey, when you look at mom do you think she's happy?" Lena asked, interrupting the conversation.

Callie looking confusingly at Stef. "She seems happy." She answered, wondering if Lena thought otherwise.

"She is happy." Lena confirmed. "But she wasn't always this happy. She struggled with who she was for a long time and tried to pretend that she wasn't hurting, just like you do. But she got to the point where she learned to accept who she is and more importantly, love who she is and so will you."

Callie was practically staring at Stef, trying to imagine a less confidant, unhappy Stef but she couldn't. Stef had really found a place where she felt accepted for who she was and now Callie was in that same place as well.

"I think I'm getting there." She said softly but smiling at her moms.

"I have no doubt that you are." Stef said as she kissed Callie.

* * *

Finally the last day of midterms arrived after the kids finished their final papers they headed towards the car. Stef and Lena were waiting for all of them.

"How about some ice-cream?" Stef said as the kids piled into the car. "Double scoops for everyone."

"Mom." Callie stopped her and Stef was sure that Callie was going to ask if she could skip the treat.

"What love?" Stef asked as she started the car.

"Do you think we could maybe go to Coco's Bakery for lunch first?" Callie asked sheepishly. "I'm in the mood for some chicken."

Both Stef and Lena were too stunned to reply. They just stared at their daughter, eyes wide and mouths open.

"You can say no if you want to." Callie grinned, knowing that her moms would never say no to that. She had been planning this all morning. They had been so supportive of her and helped her through so much and she wanted to do something for them and she figured this was something they'd really appreciate.

"No." Stef said quickly. But then shook her head. "I mean, yes."

They began laughing as Lena cleared it up for them. "Coco's it is." She said and drove to the restaurant.

Stef gave Callie a right squeeze before letting her enter the restaurant.

"Parmesan Crusted Chicken and Coconut Cream Pie." Stef ordered for her.

This time Callie reached across and grabbed both her mom's hands. "Thank you." She whispered.

They smiled back at her knowing that Callie wasn't just thanking them for her food. She was thanking them for knowing just what Callie liked and making sure to get it for her. She was thanking them for sticking by her and keeping each and every promise they ever made no matter how hard she made it for them. She was thanking them for taking over when she was falling apart. But most importantly she was thanking them for being her moms.

Callie would always struggle with her past she was learning to accept her future. She had pushed her moms as hard as she could and tried everything she could think of to push them away but they had stayed. She had pushed until the end - only it was her end that she had reached, not theirs. They, instead, had pushed back with double the force, leaving Callie with no option but to just trust them and accept their love.

**Author's Note**:

First off, as usual, thanks for a awesome reviews. Honestly when I started this series with **PUSH** I never intended for it to get this long. It was just an idea I had and wrote it and when people requested for it to continue I did. But now I'm done for real this time. While I tried to keep everyone's personalities the same as the show I knew that I was changing Callie's completely. The Callie in these stories is nothing like the real Callie Jacobs and my future stories will have more of the 'Strong Callie' that we see on the show - the one that this Callie, in this story, was trying to be.

I'm not a doctor and I don't know much about therapy, self harm or eating disorders so the details and 'treatments' may be off but it was for entertainment purposes only.

Same goes for San Diego, I don't know anything about the city so I looked stuff up. Sorry if I messed up anything.

I did have requests for the Quinn's to be included and I'm sorry that I didn't. The reason is that then I would have to reach a definite conclusion as to whether or not Callie could get adopted and I just couldn't bring myself to write that she couldn't get adopted but at the same time I didn't want her to get adopted just as she was getting better. As Stef said - that piece of paper wouldn't make much of a difference if Callie didn't accept their love and so I wanted her to do just that without it.

I didn't add Lena's problems with the pregnancy into this even thought I tried to keep it as close to the actual show as possible but the reason is that I didn't want it to seem like it was Callie's fault even for a second - the high blood pressure that Lena had could be caused by stress and it was obvious that they were all stressed out. Hence I decided to just let them have a normal pregnancy.

Thanks to Lacorra for the suggestions and help with Callie's punishment, honestly grounding was the only thing I could think of for myself. The chores and the sharing were her idea.

To those who send me BRALLIE suggestions, I'm sorry but I do NOT ship them, plane them or any other mode of transportation them. The only thing I will give BRALLIE is a one way ticket to hell.

I really liked the part where Jude tell's Callie she's being selfish after he caught her kissing Brandon in 'I Do', but since there was no Brallie in my story I used his anger towards her relationship with Liam in a different way.

I hope you all liked the story and I'm open to suggestion and ideas for another story. Thanks again for the reviews and can't wait for your updates.

Love,

Junebug


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